How to Speak Professionally & Project a Positive Corporate Image Day 2

1. How to Speak Professionally& Project a Positive Corporate ImageDay 2 “What you say …”

2. abcxyz a..c..y..x ??? ∑∩∂∞≠Ǎθ Identifying Communication Barriers • Language Proficiency • Assumptions we make Nice shirt – You paid how much? • Cultural divide Have you taken your lunch? • Specialist / Non-specialist divide

3. abcxyz ABCXYZZXX!! Identifying Communication Barriers • Personality Factors Authoritativemistaken as Aggressive Persistentmistaken as Argumentative Confidentmistaken as Arrogant Quietmistaken as Ignorant Assertivemistaken as Intrusive

4. Establishing Personality • How are you perceived … When you talk too little ... • No opinion of your own • Yes-man / Yes-woman

5. Establishing Personality • How are you perceived … When you talk too much … • Opinionated • Hyper-critical & Negative

6. Establishing Personality • How are you perceived … When you don’t use the “Magic Words” … • For Appreciation • “Thank you”, “Please” … • For Recognition • “Good idea”, “That’s useful”, “Good questions”, “Excellent” …

7. Making the Right Choices

8. Right Choices  Effective Communication We all need to communicate effectively. “It doesn’t really matter, so long as you get the message across” INACCURATE IRRESPONSIBLE DANGEROUS

9. There are two issues: the motor-bike is parked in the wrong place.it needs to be re-parked in the correct place. • “Is that your motor-bike?” • “Who has parked that motor-bike right in front of the entrance?” • There is an area round the side specially for motor-bikes.” • What a stupid place to leave a motor-bike.” • “I hope you don’t mind, but could you please park your motor-bike round the corner?” • “We need to keep the entrance free at all times.” • “Whose motor-bike is that?” • “Wow, what a fancy motor-bike! But sorry, it’s got to be moved from there.” • “Could that motor-bike please be parked at the side of the building?” • “Will you please remove your motor-bike from there?”

10. The manager wants the downliner to understand that habitually arriving late is not acceptable and that, in future the downliner has to be on time. • “Can you please not be late for tomorrow’s meeting?” • “Can you please be on time for tomorrow’s meeting?” • “Tomorrow’s meeting will start at 9 a.m. sharp.” • “I am tired of your lack of punctuality. I will be angry if you are a moment later than 9 a.m. tomorrow.” • “Could you please try to make it on time to the meeting tomorrow?” • “It is important for the effectiveness of the meeting and for me personally that you come on time to the meeting.” • “All members must observe punctuality.” • “Do you realise that by coming late to the meetings you are wasting other people’s time and making everybody irritated with you?” • “What in the world is wrong with you? Can’t you get out of bed in the morning?” • “See you at 9 tomorrow. Don’t be late!”

11. One party to the contract is questioning the other party’s interpretation of a clause in the contract: • “No, you’re wrong.” • “I don’t believe I noticed that clause in the contract.” • “It’s very clear that you have totally misunderstood the contract.” • “Show me where it says that!” • “Somehow, that appears to have escaped my notice.” • “You are obviously deliberately misinterpreting the contract for your own gain.” • “Can we have a look at the contract and work out what it really means.” • “You’re not being fair.” • “Please be fair to me!” • “Absolute rubbish! Go and read the contract again.”

12. Control of TransmittingControl of Receiving The Transmitted Message Intentionally + The Received Message Intentionally + Intentionally - Intentionally - Unintentionally -

13. “You’re doing a great job. Keep it up!” I know I’m doing a good job – but I don’t need her to tell me. She’s being patronizing and condescending. Hmmmph! She says that to everyone. How sweet of her to notice. She’s wants to motivate me. How nice of her! I’m glad somebody notices all the tireless sacrifices I make. It’s all a matter of choice!

14. How positive are you? We are often faced with difficult situations where we have choices before us as to our reactions.

15. Calibrate!

16. Calibrate

17. Calibrate They say: I want to complain. You reply: We always welcome feedback from our customers.

18. Calibrate They say: I demand a complete refund. You reply: We will look into your request.

19. Calibrate They say: I am really frustrated about your useless service. You reply: Can you please explain to me what has happened?

20. Calibrate • Doesn’t anybody have a brain in your company? • I want an answer and I want it NOW!!! • Why do you have to behave so arrogantly? • That price is crazy! Do you really think your produ\cts are worth so much?

21. Assertive Communication Assertive Passive Aggressive

22. Passivity • Fails to express thoughts, feelings, beliefs, needs • Expresses thoughts and feelings in an indirect way: “I wish I knew someone who could teach me how to change a wheel.” Indirect expression can be easily misunderstood - denies or restricts your rights because you do not communicate them, • Feels uncomfortable as a result of being unable to express feelings – guilty, anxious, depressed • Can suffer from headaches and other physical symptoms • After a while may blow up

23. Aggressiveness • Shows little or no consideration for feelings and rights of others • Can be over-direct – verbal assaults, threats, name calling, humiliation, hostile remarks • Can be indirect – gossip, gestures, throws things, yells, sarcasm

24. Assertiveness • Communicates directly one’s needs, wants, desires, and options without punishing, threatening or putting down the other person • Respects self and others • Stands up for personal rights • Does not involve excessive fear and anxiety • Stands up for own rights but without violating other’s rights

25. Is the speaker being Assertive, Passive or Aggressive? • Situation One: Meeting member comes fifteen minutes late, looking harassed and embarrassed. CHAIRMAN: So nice of you to consider joining us! Aggressive

26. Is the speaker being Assertive, Passive or Aggressive? • Situation Two: Customer returns garment to shop. CUSTOMER: This shirt, which I bought yesterday, has a small hole in the back and is missing two buttons. Please would you give me a replacement? Assertive

27. Is the speaker being Assertive, Passive or Aggressive? • Situation Three: Salesman stops a passer-by in the shopping mall. SALESMAN: Your hair’s got a lot of split ends. Buy this shampoo. It’s very good. Today, two for the price of one … Aggressive

28. Is the speaker being Assertive, Passive or Aggressive? • Situation Four: Jack’s mother-in-law is having a birthday party this evening. The family is expecting him to attend. His bossy boss tells Jack he has to work late to prepare a proposal for a big client tomorrow. JACK: O.K. Passive

29. Is the speaker being Assertive, Passive or Aggressive? • Situation Five: Manager has to reprimand his/her downliner. MANAGER: You know, the MD has been noticing that you’ve been arriving late to work … Passive

30. Is the speaker being Assertive, Passive or Aggressive? • Situation Six: Supplier is having difficulties with a client who always places orders late. SUPPLIER: We are keen to process your deliveries punctually, so we would appreciate receiving your orders by the tenth of each month. Assertive

31. Is the speaker being Assertive, Passive or Aggressive? • Situation Seven: Bank Clerk is explaining why a customer’s request cannot be granted. BANK CLERK: It’s Bank Negara Regulations. There’s nothing we can do. Aggressive

32. Is the speaker being Assertive, Passive or Aggressive? • Situation Eight: Insurance agent speaking to potential customer. INSURANCE AGENT: Actually, there are some good insurance schemes. Maybe you want to try … Passive

33. Is the speaker being Assertive, Passive or Aggressive? • Situation Nine: Presenter handling questions from audience. PRESENTER: That’s an interesting point. However, it’s not within our scope today, so can we discuss it over lunch? Assertive

34. Is the speaker being Assertive, Passive or Aggressive? • Situation Ten: A is on the way home from pasar malam and meets B. B: How come you want to buy rotten fruit? You got cheated! Aggressive

35. Assertiveness in Difficult Situations • Broken Record • Keep repeating your point, using a low level, pleasant voice. Don't get pulled into arguing or trying to explain yourself or being manipulated.

36. Assertiveness in Difficult Situations • Fogging • You agree with some of the fact, but retain the right to choose your behaviour.

37. Assertiveness in Difficult Situations • Content to Process Shift • stop talking about the problem and bring up, instead, how the other person is behaving RIGHT NOW

38. Assertiveness in Difficult Situations • Defusing • Letting someone cool down before discussing an issue.

39. Break for Lunch

40. Mastering Small Talk • In a restaurant, don’t say … Having lunch, is it? • In the lift at 8:30am, don’t say … Going to work …? • In the supermarket, don’t say … Oh, you buy so much!

41. Mastering Small Talk • Meeting Someone You Know  “Remember me??”  Refresh their memory by reintroducing yourself

42. Mastering Small Talk • Meeting Someone New  Be the first to say “Hello”  Take time to introduce yourself  Study the background of the person whom you’re going to meet

43. Experience & Story Telling Blind Deer Syndrome Always keep with you at least 3 of your experiences or stories!!!

44. Experience & Story Telling Everybody likes football … Really? Test the water before jumping straight into the deeper end

45. Style of Speech - Filler Words Give you a pause but meaningless. Make others stop and listen, but can be aggressive Is overused. Seize attention. Can be condescending if used repeatedly Can be aggressive.

46. Disagreeing & Declining • Good news first!  “With respect, …”  “No offence, but …”

47. Wrapping up a piece of communication Point the way ahead!

48. Thank You!

49. Assertive Presentations

50. You are giving a sales presentation on your new product:Super-Clean Soap Powder