Conflict Resolution

1. ConflictResolution

2. Dealing With Conflict • Governments, leaders, and you have undoubtedly come across others with opinions very different from their own. • How can such conflicts be resolved? • One can use physical force, verbal persuasion, or consensus building. • Which is best? • Why?

3. Physical Force • when one person - an aggressor, takes physical action against a person to force them to accept their solution to the conflict • Problems – • Benefits –

4. Verbal Persuasion • when one person uses words to convince someone to follow their solution to the conflict; may be negative - threats, manipulation, OR may be positive - encouragement, discussion. • Problems – • Benefits –

5. Consensus Building • when all persons involved work together towards a solution that is acceptable to everyone, usually involves compromise • Problems – • Benefits –

6. These are some different ways to resolve conflicts verbally: • NEGOTIATION - both parties discuss the issues and try to resolve differences, being careful to avoid negative, blaming language • MEDIATION- a third party helps both parties arrive at a solution to the problem • ARBITRATION- a third party is given power to decide the outcome of the conflict

7. CONFLICT: Differences of Opinion • The way a person or group deals with conflict is often influenced by: • past experiences • their personal characteristics- age, gender, ethnicity, etc. • and their personal values and beliefs • These differences sometimes can cause people to have very different opinions toward the same issue or conflict.

8. Take for example, the conflict over squeegee kids: OPINION 1: OPINION 2: “I can understand how some people feel threatened by a kid running up to your car waving a squeegee and asking to clean your windshield. But they are trying to earn some money. I think it is a whole lot better to have these kids doing this than just hanging out on street corners. Besides, if we called it something more respectable like ‘independent car maintenance people’ we would probably be applauding their entrepreneurial efforts.” • “I would have called - those kids who jump out at you at traffic lights and ask to clean your windshield - BUMS. They expect you to give them money! Not me, I never give them a dime. Let them get a real job like honest people, not pretend to be working while they’re just begging. I was glad that laws were passed to make what these squeegee kids were doing illegal.”

9. Questions to consider: 1. What is bias? Is it always negative? 2. Does everyone have a bias? Explain? 3. Do you have a bias on the issue of the squeegee kids? Is it positive or negative? 4. What characteristics do you have that influence your opinion toward squeegee kids?

10. STAGES OF MEDIATION • Stage 1:Introductions • Stage 2:Listen and Clarify the Stories • Stage 3:Clarifying the Problem • Stage 4:Finding Common Ground • Stage 5:Final Stage of Mediation

11. Stage 1:Introductions • Mediator introduces themselves and ask for the names of the disputants • Mediator explains the ground rules for mediation

12. Stage 2:Listen and Clarify the Stories • Mediator asks victim disputant to present their story • Clarify and verify the facts of the story and the feelings of the disputant • (restate their story and ask, “how did this make you feel?”) • Mediator will ask one or two questions of disputant #1 to make certain of facts, information, problem • Mediator gives disputant #2 same opportunity to tell their story • Same as #2 –deal with disputant #2

13. Stage 3:Clarifying the Problem • Mediator asks questions for clarification (ie. Ask disputant to share additional information; when did this happen?; how long has this been going on?; tell me more about…) • Mediator clearly restates the underlying concerns of each disputant (i.e. “Am I hearing you correctly when I hear you say …)

14. Stage 4:Finding Common Ground • Mediator asks disputants what they feel needs to happen in order for the conflict to be resolved • Mediator asks disputants what they are prepared to do to resolve the conflict • Mediator hears the suggestions that each disputant makes and asks for their opinions on the suggestions • Check to see if there is a mutual agreement for a solution. If so, restate it to ensure both understand and agree. Mediator write out the final resolution. • If there is no mutual agreement, disputants must review individually what they would like to happen

15. Stage 5:Final Stage of Mediation • Mediators check with disputants to see that they understand the agreement and sign it • Mediator congratulates the disputants by shaking their hand and disputants congratulate mediator for their supportive role

16. CONFLICT AND CONFLICT RESOLUTION • You have probably come across others with opinions very different from your own. • Sometimes, as a consequence of these differences, conflict arises. • Conflicts can range from personal conflicts to global conflicts. • Copy the following list of the stages in conflict resolution and provide an example from your life for each stage.

17. STAGES OF CONFLICT RESOLUTION • Stage One: Causes of Arguments • Stage Two: Intensification • Stage Three: Reconciliation

18. Stage One: Causes of Arguments • Fatigue: It causes people to be irritable which can lead to arguments • Little Things: People sometimes overreact to something small because that small thing is the final trigger to a series of building grievances • Misunderstandings: Sometimes people use words differently or interpret things in a different way then we mean, thereby leading to a misunderstanding • Cultural Conflict: When two or more cultures interact, the customs of one culture may clash with the customs of another • Unsettled Past Grievances: When things are left unsaid or unsettled, anger may build up, leading to conflict • Differing Needs: People tend to disagree as to what is important or what they feel they need.

19. Stage Two: Intensification • At this point, the original cause of argument is no longer a key issue and the people involved are now responding to body language, facial expressions, tone, volume, speed of voice and words. • Body Language: pointing, crossing arms, head shaking, moving closer or putting your hands on your hips • Facial Expressions: smirking, rolling eyes, looking away • Non-Verbal: grunting, mimicking, sighing, speaking quickly, loudly and aggressively • Spoken Words: At this point, people begin to say deliberately hurtful things instead of focusing on the argument. People begin to generalize, using words such as “always” and “never”. • At this point, people are most emotionally vulnerable. Thing said at this stage of an argument may never be forgotten.

20. Stage Three: Reconciliation • At some point in the argument, someone realizes that the argument has shifted away from the original cause and he or she tries to move it towards reconciliation. • This is difficult to do when both sides are angry. • Both sides must want to resolve the conflict before it can be shifted to reconciliation.