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Put your sentences on a diet Correcting wordy sentences. CHECK THE STRETCHERS. Cut every it not referring to something Delete every to be , which , that , who , whom not needed for clarity. Cut there is and it is . These are passive stretchers. Examples.
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CHECK THE STRETCHERS • Cut every itnot referring to something • Delete every to be, which, that,who,whom not needed for clarity. • Cut there is and it is. These are passive stretchers.
Examples • [There are] many students [who] never take advantage of the Writing Clinic. • Moreover, [there is] one segment of the population [which] never seeks employment.
[There is] nothing wrong with it. • Nothing is wrong with it. • [It is to be] expected that a snowstorm will hit. • We are expecting a snowstorm.
[It is] this argument [that] is important. • This argument is important.
Improve the following: • There are many teachers who believe the school year should not be lengthened. • It was apparent that many students had not studied effectively for the test.
After a few games of pool, it was time to go to bed. • It did not take much to persuade his father. • It did not matter if I won or lost, I would get to keep the big cow.
Give These Orphans a Home • It • This • That • These • Those • Which
Remember the rules for passive stretchers: • Cut every itnot referring to something • Delete every to be, which, that,who,whom not needed for clarity. • Cut there is and it is. These are passive stretchers. • Each of the above “orphans” requires a noun or noun phrase as a reference word.
SIMPLE CURES: Orphan it • Avoid overuse of it • It has been decided that we will delay the game. • It is a reckless thing to do. • It is imperative that students staple their papers on a 45 degree angle.
Orphan this, that, these, those • Follow this, that, these, those by a noun or noun phrase • This is delicious. • This cheesecake is delicious! • This is evident when Scout meets Boo Radley. • This maturity is evident when Scout meets Boo Radley.
Orphan which • Supply a noun for the which clause to modify • Which is best? • Which solution is best? • Which is the most heavily weighted assignment? • Which assignment is most heavily weighted?
Improve these sentences: • I don't know why the teacher is so passionate about my writing style. It overwhelms me. • Can you imagine a child who loves to see others in pain? Well, some of you may find this very hard to imagine, but I see it every day.
He tried to punch me, kick me, and throw his shoes at me. It hurt like something else. • When I talk to him, all I can think about is his horrible garlic breath and yellow teeth. Along with that comes his deep, dark, low voice that sounds like a growl.