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Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World

Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World. Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World. Parenting Job Description: Help a weak, dependent, incapable, needy infant become a strong, independent, capable, contributing adult.

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Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World

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  1. Raising Self-Reliant Childrenin a Self-Indulgent World

  2. Raising Self-Reliant Childrenin a Self-Indulgent World Parenting Job Description: Help a weak, dependent, incapable, needy infant become a strong, independent, capable, contributing adult. What is needed for them to become this kind of adult?

  3. Raising Self-Reliant Childrenin a Self-Indulgent World Seven Building Blocks • Perceptions of personal capabilities • Perceptions of personal significance • Perceptions of personal influence • Intrapersonal skills • Interpersonal skills • Systemic skills • Judgment skills

  4. Raising Self-Reliant Childrenin a Self-Indulgent World • What is needed for them to become strong, independent, capable , moral contributing adults? A strong perception… They must have confidence that they are capable, significant and influential over their life.

  5. Raising Self-Reliant Childrenin a Self-Indulgent World Perception: we define personal perceptionsas the conclusions we reach about ourselves and our lives as the result of thinking through experiences we have. Children are always drawing conclusions about themselves and the world around them. H. Stephen Glenn and Jane Nelsen, Raising Self- Reliant Children in a Self- Indulgent World p. 31

  6. Raising Self-Reliant Childrenin a Self-Indulgent World Conclusions are the result of • Personality • Age and stage of brain development • How they are effected by an interaction and the intended motive they attach to the person they are interacting with.

  7. Raising Self-Reliant Childrenin a Self-Indulgent World • These conclusions are powerful whether they are true or not. • They are often formulated in emotionally charged experiences and are reinforced in new experiences. • Conclusions have both rightand wrong , true and false beliefs.

  8. Raising Self-Reliant Childrenin a Self-Indulgent World For perceptions to be corrected • They must be explored and understood • The truth of a perception must be affirmed • Life experiences that affirm the correct belief

  9. Raising Self-Reliant Childrenin a Self-Indulgent World What is your role in developing correct perceptions? • Understand and monitor your child’s perceptions • Understand how you are impacting your child’s conclusions • Develop practices that enhance rather than hinder positive perceptions

  10. Strong Perception of Capabilities Capable of facing problems and learning through challenges and experiences. “Because children are motivated to learn and perform from birth, they can come to view themselves as capable at a very young age” H. Stephen Glenn and Jane Nelsen, Raising Self- Reliant Children in a Self- Indulgent World p. 49

  11. Strong Perception of Capabilities Hinder Enhance • Make assumptions that limit • Rescue and Excuse • Expect too much • Negative teaching • Ask questions of discovery (Check) • Explore • Celebrate • Modeling

  12. Strong Perception of Significance Capable of contributing in meaningful ways and believing that life has meaning and purpose. “ THE NEED TO BE NEEDED is often more powerful than the need to survive. H. Stephen Glenn and Jane Nelsen, Raising Self- Reliant Children in a Self- Indulgent World p. 75

  13. Strong Perception of Significance Hinders Enhances • Duties • Orders • Low expectations of children • Meaningful Roles • Collaboration Time Spent Traditions & Rituals Family Meetings Volunteer work

  14. Strong Perceptions of Influence Capacity to understand that one’s actions and choices influence one’s life and hold one accountable. Understands that actions and choices matter, they have consequences and one does have significant control over life.

  15. Strong Perceptions of Influence Locus of control: External vs. Internal External: “People and circumstances control me” Internal: Their experiences, behavior and relationships frequently reflect their internal decisions and choices

  16. Strong Perceptions of Influence 3 Important parenting practices: Model personal influence: take responsibility for your own actions Mean what you say: follow through Set limits: have established and consistent rules and consequences for violation of the rules.

  17. Raising Self-Reliant Childrenin a Self-Indulgent World

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