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CHALLENGE MOTIVATE INSPIRE. Managing Difficult People. Helen Chambers FInstLM HJC Associates Unit 3 1487 Melton Road Queniborough Leicester LE7 3FP 0116 3190321 . HJC Associates | Tel: 07402 667123 Email : helen@hjcassociates.co.uk.
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CHALLENGE MOTIVATE INSPIRE Managing Difficult People Helen Chambers FInstLM HJC Associates Unit 3 1487 Melton Road Queniborough Leicester LE7 3FP 0116 3190321 HJC Associates | Tel:07402 667123 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk
CHALLENGE MOTIVATE INSPIRE AIM • To develop your understanding and ability to effectively manage and resolve difficult behaviour and conflicts • To understand yourself! HJC Associates | Tel:07402 667123 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk
CHALLENGE MOTIVATE INSPIRE What is a “difficult behaviour” ? How do we define “difficult behaviour”? Why are people “difficult” ? What is the effect/impact? HJC Associates | Tel:07402 667123 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk
CHALLENGE MOTIVATE INSPIRE “let’s not kid our selves, we all have behaviour that can be perceived by another as difficult, at least once, by another in a different context to the norm.” – Tom Peters: “Innovation” “Difficult” or “challenging” behaviour means behaviours that are demonstrated by a person which are of such intensity, frequency or duration that the physical safety, emotional well-being of the person or other persons is placed at risk. HJC Associates | Tel:07887 536 433 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk
CHALLENGE MOTIVATE INSPIRE Values • We all have things that we value • Not just people and objects • More abstract values like;- • honesty • loyalty • humour • When the house is on fire we're forced to think about what we value • However day to day we don’t give it much thought • BUT, it will affect behaviour in the workplace HJC Associates | Tel:07402 667123 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk
CHALLENGE MOTIVATE INSPIRE TRUST Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something Believe in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of Confidence Faith Credit RelianceBelief Low levels of trust = higher costs, lower productivity HJC Associates | Tel:07402 667123 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk
CHALLENGE MOTIVATE INSPIRE TRUST – How do People Know They Can Trust Me? Because I maintain confidentiality Because I keep promises Because I am reliable Because I am punctual Because I am organised Because I do not over-promise and then fail to deliver Because I listen Because I work hard at communicating HJC Associates | Tel:07402 667123 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk
CHALLENGE MOTIVATE INSPIRE Emotional Triggers: Stop Pushing my Buttons! • What are your triggers? What might make you respond positively in one situation, yet negatively for the next? • How do you currently respond to these “triggers”? • How can you prevent your ‘trigger’s firing’? HJC Associates | Tel:07402 667123 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk
CHALLENGE MOTIVATE INSPIRE STIMULUS RESPONSE Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness. S . Covey HJC Associates | Tel:07887 536 433 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk
CHALLENGE MOTIVATE INSPIRE Locus of Control HJC Associates | Tel:07887 536 433 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk
CHALLENGE MOTIVATE INSPIRE Our Verbal Behaviors Believing a message and trusting the sender depends 7% on the Verbal = Words 38% on the Voice = Tone 55% on the Visual = Body Language On a conscious level Face-to-face - words, tone, body language Telephone - words and tone Written - words HJC Associates | Tel:07402 667123 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk
CHALLENGE MOTIVATE INSPIRE What is assertiveness? Being assertive involves standing up for your personal rights and expressing your thoughts, feelings and beliefs directly and honestly in ways that don’t infringe the rights of others HJC Associates | Tel:07402 667123 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk
CHALLENGE MOTIVATE INSPIRE assertive passive aggressive thinking response Reaction (flight) Reaction (fight) HJC Associates | Tel:07402 667123 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk
CHALLENGE MOTIVATE INSPIRE Focus on facts Focus on Consequences Stop Put-Down Behaviour Own the problem Separate the person from the behaviour. HJC Associates | Tel:07402 667123 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk
CHALLENGE MOTIVATE INSPIRE 7 different types of behaviour Hostile-aggressive: These people use hostility as a means to get their agenda done. There are 3 variants of such people – the "Sherman Tank" who rolls over anyone in their path, the Snipers who take pot-shots at people from behind a facade of humor and sarcasm, and finally the Exploders who are normal most of the time, but erupt when they are threatened and frustrated. HJC Associates | Tel:07402 667123 Email: helen@hjcassociates.co.uk