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The Power of Nice. Book by Linda Kaplan Thaler & Robin Koval. “How to conquer the world with kindness”. Introductions/ Acknowlegments. My Journey Makeup of audience Welcome
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The Power of Nice Book by Linda Kaplan Thaler & Robin Koval “How to conquer the world with kindness”
Introductions/Acknowlegments • My Journey • Makeup of audience • Welcome • Objective: To share and hopefully assist you in your important work everyday as a SAM/Principal team or someone who supports Pre-school-12 education
When you hear the word “nice” what do you think of? • Meet the Parents video clip
Common Views of Nice • “Nice guys/gals finish last” • “No good deed goes unpunished” • “Me vs. You philosophy wins the day” • “Nice people don’t get the corner office” • “Nice is consider wimpy, passive, pollyanna
What does it really mean? • Nice is not being naïve • Nice does not mean others walk all over you • Nice does not mean being a doormat • Todd Whitaker– “Treat everyone as if they are good” • “Nice is the toughest four-letter word you’ll even hear- it means moving forward with confidence from knowing that being nice and placing others’ needs on same level as your own will get you everything you want”
Jim Sorenson- “Fierce Conversations” • Can you be “nice” and still have those fierce conversations? Absolutely • We can and should have fierce conversations at times • Our careers, our schools, our districts succeed or fail gradually and then suddenly, one conversation at a time • The conversation IS the relationship (we build emotional capital through deposits or withdrawals all day long) • All conversations are with myself and sometimes they involve other people. • My experience last night (airline)
Six Power of Nice Principles • Positive impressions are like seeds- Importance of how people are greeted each time they come into your school • Lays the groundwork for many opportunities down the road • You never know – Chris L., health care, etc. • Treat everyone you meet as if they are the most important person in the world- because they are • People change • No idea who might become important to you 10, 20, 30 years from now • Nice must be automatic– Make it part of who you are • Small gestures and actions can have an enormous impact • Negative impressions are like germs-- poison • Impressions are in the eye of the beholder • You will know • Value niceness, in yourself and in others, the same way we respect intelligence, beauty, or talent
Nice Tools • Exercise your niceness muscles • Be a “best supporting actor” • Model yourself after the kind of person you admire • Hold a networking party (e.g., SAM conf.) • Make a difference (pass it on) • Throw out the scorecard • Flash a smile • Mimic the masters (make others laugh) • Offer a sweet • Say something genuinely nice to the person who irritates you the most • List your fiercest rivals- think of one thing you can do to help that person • Designate one day a week as a “gossip free” day • Go on a truth diet • Have the courage to be honest • Take off your mask • Play “and then what will happen”
Mimic the Masters • Make others laugh • Video clips: Lucille Ball, Change Therapy, Snow
Become an active audience member • Find the “yes” in the “no” • Mark Shellinger--- validate, a thousand yeses, solution • Zip your lip and listen to others • Honor your debts- Those who got you to where you are • Irritation is the mother of invention (find solutions to complaints of others) • Star in someone else’s movie • Find the feeling
Finish the Following Sentences… “Honor Your Debts” • I never would have made it to where I am without…. • I owe a great debt to…. • I take courage from…. • My greatest teacher was….. • Share with a partner! • None of us gets ahead on our own!!
Most Important Skill for Anyone Who Wants to Harness the Power of Nice • Ability to put yourself in someone else’s place • Empathetic people are superb at recognizing and meeting the needs of clients, customers, and subordinates. • They seem approachable • They listen • They praise others for their successes • They try to see the other person’s “movie” • Remember the words of Todd Whitaker– Treat everyone as if they are good (even if you know they aren’t always)
Leadership is the art of getting others to do something that you want done because they want to do it. Dwight D. Eisenhower • Video– Leadership Lessons From the Dancing Guy-YouTube • Read ending of book