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“ He may not know where she lives, but he does know where she works...”

“ He may not know where she lives, but he does know where she works...”.

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“ He may not know where she lives, but he does know where she works...”

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  1. “He may not know where she lives, but he does know where she works...”

  2. According to the U.S. Bureau of Justice statistics, 85% of all victims of intimate partner violence are women. While intimate partner violence is not exclusively a male against female issue, it is clearly the predominant pattern. • In this training program, the language and graphics used reflect this reality.

  3. Overview • Scope • Intimate Partner Violence • Behaviors of Concern • Cycle of Violence • Action Options

  4. Intimate Partner Violence Is Pervasive • Epidemic • 1 woman out of 4 will be a victim in her lifetime • Toll on workplace • 3-4 billion dollars per year in lost wages, productivity, and time away from work • Catastrophic event could be an outcome

  5. Intimate Partner ViolenceMyth vs. Reality • Myth • Doesn’t effect smart, successful individuals • Not a workplace issue • Reality • Transcends all socioeconomic lines • Spillover effects are often subtle • Ripple effect

  6. Intimate Partner ViolenceMyth vs. Reality • Reality • Most insidious effects can be silent—even invisible • Myth • Only blatantly violent or life-threatening scenarios can impact the workplace

  7. Intimate Partner Violence Definition A pattern of coercive behavior used by one person in an intimate relationship to gain power and control over another. Includes physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, and financial abuse.

  8. Physical Abuse • Not only battering • May include pushing, hitting with a fist, slapping, shoving, kicking, choking, threatening with weapons...

  9. Emotional Abuse • Use of words to break a person’s spirit or destroy their self-esteem • Includes degradation, isolation, and control of actions/ behaviors through intimidation or manipulation • Effective strategy to destroy sense of self

  10. Behaviors of ConcernRecognizing Abusive Relationships • Isolates from friends and family • Uses the children • Uses economic abuse • Uses emotional abuse • Uses stalking tactics

  11. Pattern of harassing behaviors intended to frighten, intimidate, terrorize, or injure another person • Primary motives include power, control, and possession • Strong connection between stalking and intimate partner violence Stalking

  12. Behaviors of Concern • Abuser believes he has the right to control his partner • Tells her what to do and expects obedience • May use force to maintain power • Feels partner has no right to challenge him • Feels justified making her comply • Blames abuse on his partner

  13. Early Relationship Indicators • Form attachments very quickly • Foundation of power and control may be built through flattery and adulation • Begins isolating victim from friends and family • May cohabitate; learns personal information and begins to control finances

  14. Power and Control Wheel

  15. Cycle of Violence • Tension-building phase • Abusive incident • Honeymoon phase • Not all abusive relationships follow a recurring pattern or cycle

  16. Tension-Building Phase • Abuser believes his ability to control the victim is diminishing • Abuser becomes more temperamental and critical of victim • Victim minimizes problems; may try to placate abuser to prevent abuse • Victim may feel she is walking on eggshells

  17. Abusive Incident • Incident of violence or threat occurs • More intense than during tension-building phase • May increase in intensity with each act • Victim traumatized • Abuser blames victim

  18. Honeymoon Phase • Abuser is apologetic and loving • Victim has mixed feelings • Abuser is manipulative • Victim feels guilty and responsible • Abuser promises change

  19. Danger Zone • When victim terminates the relationship • Breaking the cycle of violence • Victim moving out of home may result in workplace stalking • Abuser control is no longer possible at home

  20. Danger Zone • Abuser may apply abusive tactics to the workplace • Harassing phone calls • Threatening to show up at the workplace • Actually shows up at the workplace • Danger zone not just limited to victim

  21. Restraining Order / Order of Protection • In US, 3 women per week are killed by their partners • Not uncommon for workplace to be listed as part of an Order of Protection • Workplace may never be informed • Wouldn’t you want to know?

  22. Action Options • Recognize (Behaviors of Concern) • Injuries such as bruises, black eyes, broken bones • Inappropriate clothing for the season • Uncharacteristic absenteeism • Change in job performance • Emotional distress • Unusual number of phone calls

  23. Action Options • Respond • Show concern; be supportive • Explain that intimate partner violence is a crime • Listen in a non-judgmental way • Provide company and community resources • Contact HR specialist or corporate security

  24. Action Options • Refer • Help victim connect with outside agencies • Battered women shelters • National Center for Victims of Crime • National Network to End Domestic Violence • Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence

  25. Summary • Scope • Intimate Partner Violence • Behaviors of Concern • Cycle of Violence • Action Options

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