STRESS HAPPENS, EVEN IN GOVERNMENT

1. STRESS HAPPENS, EVEN IN GOVERNMENT • Boston Chapter of AGA • January 23, 2014 • By • Art “Bubba” “The Body Snatcher” Hayes

2. FIVE PARTS TO THIS SESSION • OVERVIEW OF STRESS • STRESSORS IN OUR LIVES IN GENERAL • ANTIDOTES • VISION • ANGER • STRESSORS IN OUR PROFESSIONAL LIVES • PRACTICAL EXERCISES (HANDOUTS)

3. It’s all about change • What are the four truths about change? • It is: • 1. ______________ • 2. ______________ • 3. ______________ • 4. ______________

4. Professor William James of Harvard University— Compared to what we ought to be, we are only half-awake. We are making use of only a small part of our physical and mental resources. Stating the thing broadly, the human individual thus lives far within his limits. He possesses powers of various sorts which he habitually fails to use.

5. Dr. John G. Hibben, former president of Princeton University— Education is the ability to meet life’s situations. The great aim of education is not knowledge, but action.

6. GENERAL THOUGHTS ON STRESSTRUTHS ABOUT STRESS • In large measure, there are few truly unexpected stressors in our lives. • As a result, we can do a lot to control or at least anticipate our stressors, rather than just being confounded by them. • Our thoughts are important in considering our approach to stress management, but our emotions are probably even more important. • In general, it is people who cause us stress, not things or circumstances.

7. Even though things and circumstances do cause some level of stress for us, stress emanating from those areas are relatively easier to manage than the stress coming from persons. • Although thoughts are important as we try to change our behavior patterns, in particular, our reactions to stressors, the easiest things to change are our actions, rather than our mind sets. • Trying to change our attitudes or the attitudes of others is very difficult and usually a dysfunctional exercise

8. The struggle of dealing with stress is not an isolated activity—to be successful, we must integrate these efforts with the other work we have before us as we strive for improvement in our personal and professional lives. • Since our main struggle relative to stress is with other human beings, unless we face those facts we will be doomed to continuous stress without hope of escape. • Effective communication is critical to engaging our stressful situations.

9. Assertiveness is not aggression, unless we lose control and focus on our ultimate goal-to reduce stress to acceptable levels. • The most critical aspect of better communication has to be with ourselves. • Everyone has coping mechanisms, it is just some are quite dysfunctional and even unconscious. • The first step is to identify the stressors. • The second, and harder step, is to develop effective strategies for dealing with them.

10. Stressors • First, I would ask you to take a few moments and list the things that stress you on a typical day. Now, that will require some memory on your part. And this is just a start. For I am sure you will think of other things later you cannot believe you forgot to write down now. And it is essential that you write them down!! We are all familiar with the phrase, if it is not documented, it does not exist. And there is a reason for that. Fleeting thoughts are just that—they don’t stick. And why waste your energies trying to remember things? Let’s save that brain power for the more important aspects of the exercise—thinking of creative remedies.

11. It may help to just review the chronological progression of a typical day, so you are less likely to omit something. • Of course, there are many different “typical” days, weekends are usually different from work days, days we travel are different from days we do not, and days we have many meetings are different from those when meetings are less frequent. There are many other permutations, and part of the value of this exercise is for you to reflect on the variations of your activities.

12. some time later you may find you have forgotten some other stressors. A value of this exercise is, hopefully, it will become a longer lasting effort than just the few moments you spend in the class. In fact, one of the problems with the way many of us “run” our lives is that although we find ourselves in stressful situations all the time and spend too much time fretting over such things. We only think about doing something about the stress when it is presented as a discreet topic, somewhat divorced from our day-to-day activities. The word “holistic” is sometimes overworked, but it is true that when we compartmentalize our lives as we so often do, we miss the opportunities which are otherwise available to us to fold in consideration of stress remedies in our daily actions.

13. Now list the things which make you happy. (Let’s call them antidotes.) • List the things which make you happy. And write them down!! • Unlike the things creating stress for you, I would recommend that you not list these in some chronological framework. Rather, just think about what pleases you. • There may be a tendency to be less specific with these items. For example, you might like to “read” or “go walking.” For the first analysis of these items, that is okay.

14. Now, list the last time you engaged in the activity. • Now, list how many times you engage in this activity during a typical week. • Now, when did you start doing this activity? • Now, list any favorite activities you used to do that you do not do anymore.

15. Why do you not do them any longer? Is it because of physical limitations or other barriers, i.e., the death of someone you used to enjoy doing this with? • Now, do not forget to go back later and re-examine this list—you may have forgotten some things. And, as we did with the stressors, be sure and write all this down so you do not have to start all over again later

16. Are there things in list B causing you stress because you do not/cannot do them any longer? Now, think about the last funeral you went to. Do you remember the words which were spoken? Now, think of a personal mentor or a close friend. I would recommend that you think of a favorite teacher or someone who might have believed in you when you were just getting started, who encouraged you when you really needed it. If that person has not died, imagine you are asked to say some words at his or her funeral. How would you describe them? What were the endearing characteristics which drew you toward them?

17. Consider those traits and how they might be found in your life too… • Also think about what might be said about you at your funeral. • And don’t be so hard on yourself…you are a good person and have many great traits.. • This is your chance to write your own eulogy!!! • To get it right before it is too late….

18. What is your vision? Your long term goals? • Spend some time thinking about this…every day!!! • Where do you want to be in 1 year, 5 years and longer? • What do you want to be doing? • Look at your list of stressors and your list of antidotes and expand on them. • Incorporate them into your vision statement. • Develop and amend your vision statement in writing!!!

19. A word or three about ANGER • Anger is a basic human emotion that is experienced by all people. Typically triggered by an emotional hurt, anger is usually experienced as an unpleasant feeling that occurs when we think we have been injured, mistreated, opposed in our long-held views, or when we are faced with obstacles that keep us from attaining personal goals.

20. Anger itself is not good or bad.. • It is essential at times to get angry…it can be a very good coping mechanism—to protect someone else • But it can certainly become problematic…interfering with our daily routines.

21. Just how does anger work? • Events have no emotional value per se. • Anger is produced by an interaction, a fusion, of our thoughts, our bodily changes, and behavior triggered by external events known as provocations. • We respond to provocations through an anger feedback loop involving the above factors

22. Is there such a thing as valid anger? • Does anger ever have a positive function? • In fact, your anger is always valid!! Everyone’s anger is always valid. • It is your human right to feel and experience anger. • In fact, one of the main problems with anger is that we try to suppress it • We feel guilty about it. • We argue with ourselves about whether we have the right to be angry in a particular situation.

23. So when are we usually prone to react to something angrily? • When we appraise an event or a person as a threat to our basic needs, including identity, recognition, achievement and self-worth. • But our appraisal may be distorted—we try to read other people’s minds. • In some cases, because of prior experiences, we have strong feelings, hot cognitions, which are very intense. • Our actions can appear so unreasonable people become afraid—they do not know what will set us off!! • So what is the way to change?

24. Be better able to identify, anticipate and understand your provocations. • Be able to change your thoughts and responses to the provocations. • Initiate and substitute productive ways of dealing with your anger. • (In short, short-circuit the automatic cycle.)

25. We have to validate our anger. • Admit to ourselves we are angry when we are angry!! • Say to yourself, “I’m angry now!” • And you need to be able to validate the anger of others who are in your life. • It cannot be suppressed without causing even more trouble!!

26. The real question is not whether your anger is valid or not. • The real issue is whether, in the particular situation, it is needless or adaptive. • You must learn to ask yourself: • “Is my anger helping me in this situation?” • If not, it is needless—you need to find a more productive response to achieve your goal. • Anger is frequently needless because of the way we use it!!

27. What are some of the effects of self-anger? • Complete the following statements: • I get angry at myself when … • I get angry at myself for …. • What do you think the basis for self-anger is?

28. Listening to your body!!! • How do you know when you are getting angry? • It is a source of information. • How do you know when you are hungry, thirsty, tired? • It is a question of taking control of yourself. • And taking care of yourself!! • You need to become responsive to your body’s needs. • Failure to hear your body means you cannot take care of it!!

29. Use the signals from your body to give you cues to when it’s time to soothe yourself and to find out what is wrong, what is causing the tension. • TENSION—THE INITIAL STAGE OF ANGER-AROUSAL. • When we feel strung out, we are more easily provoked. • Our ability to cope is reduced. • We might treat a minor incident as a major catastrophe. • FREEZE—HOLD A POSITION FOR TEN MINUTES. • Movement directly induces relaxation because muscles work in pairs. One group relaxes while the other contracts.

30. STRESSORS IN OUR PROFESSIONAL LIVES • DYSFUNCTIONAL THINKING AND BEHAVIOR IN THE OFFICE

31. Dysfunctional thinking about stress-Expecting Somebody Else to Reduce Our Stress • Stress caused by change being forced on us!!! • If change causes stress, who is causing the change? And can they not stop it? • Higher management are the villains! • They call the shots • They should be held accountable!?!

32. What is wrong with this picture?The truth regarding management’s actions • More than likely just reactions • Responses to outside pressures • New requirements • Standards • Legislative, constituent demands • Stiff competition • Economic turns • New technology • Customer expectations • Media pressures • Are the realroot causes of the change • But not so fast!

33. Somebody made a bad call! • They could have handled the situation better! • So they caused unnecessary stress to me! • They should protect us from “it”!

34. But, so what?! • You expect them to “un-do” the change? • They probably think it was a good change. A different viewpoint • This is how they wanted it! • Besides, even more changes may bring even more stress.

35. How about you? • Do not count on anybody else coming along to relieve your stress. • Put yourself in charge of managing the pressure.

36. There is a good chance you are the only one in your work situation who— • Will, or • Even can • Do much to lighten your psychological load.

37. Deciding You Just Will Not Change! • Must you change just because your organization changes? • Of course not! • People make this decision all the time! • They do not want any part of the new program. • So, just resist! • It may even be unconscious. • Options— • Fight out in the open. • Make noise. • Be sneaky. • Behind the scenes!

38. Consequences • Whatever strategy you choose to resist • You set yourself up for a very tough emotional struggle

39. Resisting change is one of the most common causes of stress of the job! • And we bring it on ourselves! The typical view. • The changes give birth to all the stress. • Rather than blaming their own mistakes in how they personally react to the situation. • We waste far more emotional energy desperately hanging on to old habits and beliefs than it would take to embrace the changes. • We also are lousy at weighing the odds for success in resisting change. • Usually it is a lost cause!

40. Consider the questions: • Does it make sense to assume we can remain effective in a changing organization without changing ourselves? • If the world is forcing organizations to do business differently, can we as individuals expect to succeed if we keep going at our jobs in the same old way?

41. Point:You have a choice. • You may not like the options, but you have a say in how you react to change! • The organization will change – it MUST! • To survive and prosper. • Do not bang your head against the wall of hard reality. • It will bruise your spirit. • Invest your energy in making quick adjustments. • Turn when the organization turns. • Practice instant alignment. • Your own decisions may do more to determine your stress level than anything the organization decides to do.

42. Be the Victim • When you decide you are helpless, stress ratchets up very quickly. • Convince yourself there is little you can do about the situation. • Notice how much worse you feel now?

43. How do you become a victim? • Emphasize the unfairness of it all. • Play “poor me.” • Ignore opportunities the changes may imply/provide. • Focus on what is being lost. • The sacrifices you must make. • Assume if you feel sorry enough for yourself, others will also start feeling sorry for you!

44. Find somebody else to blame. • They have caused your problems. • Shift accountability for • your behavior and attitude • Away from yourself. • Is this not a cool maneuver? • People try it all the time. • BUT

45. It is very disempowering! • It is almost unconscious. • It sets us up to truly be a victim. • We make ourselves even more expendable. • Our public suffering makes us much less appealing as an employee. • We believe that people say and thing “He/she is a real survivor!” • But…..Is this a compliment or an insult? • Why not be a real succeeder?!

46. Being a victim creates/abets a stress that perpetuates itself! • A vicious cycle. • Only we can break it ourselves!

47. Point: • Hey, accept fate, things happen! • Move on! • Avoid yielding to the seductive pull of self-pity. • (At least for any extended period of time.) • Acting like a victim actually threatens your future. • Act, instead, like you are resilient, remain productive. • Stand tall, proud. • Pick up the pieces. • Put your career back together!

48. Another dysfunction • Using the Old Rules to Play a New Game! • Struggling to do a job in ways that are not working! • Car stuck in second gear. • Organizations are developing a very different set of expectations regarding -- • Job performance • Employee attitudes

49. Do not just try harder! • Try differently. • More effort is not the answer to addressing changes in your work situation. • If you are failing to do the right things, working harder to do the wrong things will just increase stress and tension. • If there are ACTUAL, BIG changes in the required work behavior. • Jobs taking on totally new dimensions. • Making new demands. • Calling for new work habits. • It may be stressful to make all the necessary adjustments, • But if adapting is tough, imagine how tough it will be if you do not adapt.

50. You must be willing to alter your technique. • Accept that what worked well in the past must be replaced with new routines. • Change your mindset. • Align your thinking with the new realities of the workplace. • Pay close attention to the changes. • We can avoid a lot of work pressure if we -- • Learn the new rules, and • Play by them.