The Nutty Letter

1. Formatting Creativity The Nutty Letter Mike Randles, NLP

2. The Nutty Letter • This project is based upon the book Letters from a Nut by Ted Nancy (Jerry Seinfeld) • The book is simply a compilation of very strange letters sent to various companies and their responses • Nordstrom’s: The mannequin looks like a deceased neighbor (in every way, including the clothes he used to wear!) Requests to buy mannequin. • Baseball Hall of Fame: I have Mickey Mantle’s toenails and would like to donate them. • Motel: I would like to bring my own pop machine when I stay there. I have a favorite brand and your motel doesn’t sell it. • Motel: Requesting accommodations. I am a Level IV bed wetter. I sometimes ruin plants and furniture. • M&M/Mars: I don’t like the name Snickers. It sounds like it is laughing at me. Can you call it “Snuckers”? Mike Randles, NLP

3. The Nutty Letter • Format • Must follow formal letter formatting • Heading • Punctuation • Purpose of paragraphs (intro/body/conclusion) • Brainstorm Creative Observations • Develop absurd (but not too absurd) observation • Offer absurd (but not too absurd) advice • Do not make requests for products • Voice • Convey idea in a tone that is absurd (but...not too absurd) • Research • To whom will letter be addressed • Any necessary company research • Contact information Mike Randles, NLP

4. Nutty Letter • Content of Letter • Make an absurd observation • Observation about company’s product, logo, jingle, advertisement • Offer absurd advice • Advice about the company’s product (name, altering product, advertisements) • Advice about a new product idea • Make an absurd offer • Offer to work for the company; offer the company some product; make an absurd request • Do not request products • Do request right to market absurd product under company name or something strikingly similar to company name • Do request absurd privilege (“Would like to bring...to your motel”) Do request information Mike Randles, NLP

5. Nutty Letter • Voice • Balance between real and absurd • Odd traits • Overuse of “” • Inconsistent diction • Combination of genius and idiot vocabulary • Incorrect use of words • Sudden change in topic Mike Randles, NLP

6. Nutty Letter • Your Letter • You will write a 3-4 paragraph letter • 1-introductory paragraph; 1-2 body paragraphs; 1-concluding paragraph • Your letter will be a properly formatted, professional letter • Your letter will offer some “nutty” observation; recall a “nutty” experience; offer “nutty” advice; make a “nutty” request; or seek “nutty” information...In short, you will write a nutty letter • The challenge is to be original AND to voice it in such a way that the reader thinks that you probably only have one oar in the water • You will not make a request for a product (directly or parenthetically) Click to See Examples of Actual Letters Sent and Responded to... Mike Randles, NLP

7. 410 South Lincoln Sandpoint, ID 83864 March 27, 2004 Mr. Donald Kendall, President Pepsico 700 Anderson Hill Road Purchase, NY 10577 Dear Mr. President: Getting bit by a dog hurts. You know what, though? Having icy cold Mountain Dew pour out of your nose holes really hurts! That’s why I am writing to you, Mr. President. You see, sir, last week while attending a movie (or what Grandma calls a “Talkie,”) I was sipping from a cup filled with ice cold Mountain Dew cola. Just then, one of the characters on the screen (Starsky, maybe Hutch?) began singing a song. The hilarity overwhelmed the very nucleus of my soul. While attempting to laugh, a horrific “K” sound shot from the back of my throat as my body fought desperately to separate the Mountain Dew going down the tube inside my neck from the oxygen bursting free from the alveoli that exchange oxygen and carbon monoxide around my breathing bags. The oxygen won, rerouting the Mountain Dew through my nose tubes and out of my nose holes! What followed was no laughing matter, no sir! I began gagging, I don’t know if you know the lady sitting in front of me but believe me, she was no lady! (She had earlier accused me of getting gum in her hair. I told her that if she couldn’t tell the difference between gum and gummy bears, she’d better go back to candy school!) As I gasped for air, she yelled, “Wretch, wretch!” I don’t even know what that means! I do know this, Mountain Dew spraying out of your nose holes hurts like the dickens. While I don’t blame the Mountain Dew Corporation, it is my sincere hope that Mountain Dew places warning labels on the side of their products, maybe something like, Warning: “Mountain Dew Spilling Out of Your Nose Holes Hurts.” Maybe a skull and crossbones, too. I believe that this warning in combination with your delicious product will give you a Super Product. Also, I think it would be great if you added more of a kick to your product and called it “Mount Everest Dew.” What can be bigger than that? I look forward to hearing from you concerning my ideas. Sincerely, Buddy Dale Click to Read Letter Nutty Letter What followed was no laughing matter, no sir! I began gagging, I don’t know if you know the lady sitting in front of me but believe me, she was no lady! (She had earlier accused me of getting gum in her hair. I told her that if she couldn’t tell the difference between gum and gummy bears, she’d better go back to candy school!) As I gasped for air, she yelled, “Wretch, wretch!” I don’t even know what that means! I do know this, Mountain Dew spraying out of your nose holes hurts like the dickens. While I don’t blame the Mountain Dew Corporation, it is my sincere hope that Mountain Dew places warning labels on the side of their products, maybe something like, Warning: “Mountain Dew Spilling Out of Your Nose Holes Hurts.” Maybe a skull and crossbones, too. I believe that this warning in combination with your delicious product will give you a Super Product. Also, I think it would be great if you added more of a kick to your product and called it “Mount Everest Dew.” What can be bigger than that? I look forward to hearing from you concerning my ideas. Sincerely, Buddy Dale You see, sir, last week while attending a movie (or what Grandma calls a “Talkie,”) I was sipping from a cup filled with ice cold Mountain Dew cola. Just then, one of the characters on the screen (Starsky, maybe Hutch?) began singing a song. The hilarity overwhelmed the very nucleus of my soul. While attempting to laugh, a horrific “K” sound shot from the back of my throat as my body fought desperately to separate the Mountain Dew going down the tube inside my neck from the oxygen bursting free from the alveoli that exchange oxygen and carbon monoxide around my breathing bags. The oxygen won, rerouting the Mountain Dew through my nose tubes and out of my nose holes! 410 South Lincoln Sandpoint, ID 83864 March 27, 2004 Mr. Donald Kendall, President Pepsico 700 Anderson Hill Road Purchase, NY 10577 Dear Mr. President: Getting bit by a dog hurts. You know what, though? Having icy cold Mountain Dew pour out of your nose holes really hurts! That’s why I am writing to you, Mr. President. Mike Randles, NLP

8. Nutty Letter Pepsi-Cola Company April 8, 2004 Mr. Buddy Dale 410 South Lincoln Sandpoint, ID 843864 Dear Mr. Dale: Thank you for taking the time to write to use here at Pepsi Cola Company. Your letter to Mr. Donald Kendall was forwarded to my attention with a request to personally respond. It is always a pleasure to hear from you, Mr. Dale. It’s been almost two years since we last corresponded, and I hope all is well with you and yours. We’re so glad that you are one of our biggest fans. While we were sorry to learn of your experience in the movie theatre, we want you to know that your friendship and support of our brands is greatly appreciated. Again, we appreciate your feedback and have taken the liberty of sending you something that we hope you will enjoy. Sincerely, Rebecca Smith Manager, Consumer Communication The Response... Mike Randles, NLP

9. Nutty Letter 615 Lake Street Sandpoint, ID 83864 August 6, 2002 Mr. Charles W. Mooty, CEO of IDQ, Inc. International DQ, Inc. 7505 Metro Blvd. Minneapolis, MN 55439 Dear Mr. Mooty: Do you know what Brain Freeze is? If not, you should! In addition to serving up a multitude of innovative and delicious cold drinks, your company also gives out more of these than probably anybody in the world. A few weeks ago while in Missoula, Montana, I was very, very thirsty, but I had a PLAN! I entered the mal and walked straight past Fuddruckers to my favorite producer of cold drinks. “One Strawberry Julius,” I said to the young, enthusiastic salesperson. After the teasing sound of the blender, I was presented with my delicious drink. We exchanged money and I hungrily wrapped my lips around that plastic, hollow thingy and took the biggest suck of my life. The only thing I really remember after that is pounding my palm against my forehead. I thought that I had shouted, “Brain Freeze!” repeatedly, but most by standers swear to hearing me shout, “Uhhhhg…Oh God…Uuuuh…Uhhhg… .” I backpedaled into some tables, knocking over two teenage boys wearing huge pants and backwards visors. I sat at home for a long time after that, sipping warm water and thinking about how amazingly cold that Strawberry Julius was. I wondered why it isn’t just frozen solid and then realized if it were it would never fit up the plastic, hollow thingy. How does it know how big the thingy is? Even though I plan to gauge my sucks in the future, I was thinking that maybe you could put warning labels on your drinks: “BEWARE This Deliciously Cold Drink Might Freeze Your Brain. Drink Slowly!” Maybe some skull and crossbones, too. I was thinking about standing near the Orange Julius and giving verbal warnings but I didn’t like the way those kids with the visors looked at me. If those kids are gone, I would be willing to go back and say things like, “Easy, easy, not too much at once,” to people who appear to be going hog wild on their drink. If you think your company would like me to be a guest speaker or someone who stands at various Orange Julius’s to give warnings on the dangers of brain freeze, let me know; I think I would be great. Also, I think it would be great if you made a drink for two called the “Romeo and Julius.” What do you think? Your Loyal Customer Buddy Dale Click to View this Nutty Letter Mike Randles, NLP

10. Nutty Letter A few weeks ago while in Missoula, Montana, I was very, very thirsty, but I had a PLAN! I entered the mall and walked straight past Fuddruckers to my favorite producer of cold drinks. “One Strawberry Julius,” I said to the young, enthusiastic salesperson. After the teasing sound of the blender, I was presented with my delicious drink. We exchanged money and I hungrily wrapped my lips around that plastic, hollow thingy and took the biggest suck of my life. The only thing I really remember after that is pounding my palm against my forehead. I thought that I had shouted, “Brain Freeze!” repeatedly, but most by standers swear to hearing me shout, “Uhhhhg…Oh God…Uuuuh…Uhhhg… .” I backpedaled into some tables, knocking over two teenage boys wearing huge pants and backwards visors. I sat at home for a long time after that, sipping warm water and thinking about how amazingly cold that Strawberry Julius was. I wondered why it isn’t just frozen solid and then realized if it were it would never fit up the plastic, hollow thingy. How does it know how big the thingy is? Even though I plan to gauge my sucks in the future, I was thinking that maybe you could put warning labels on your drinks: “BEWARE This Deliciously Cold Drink Might Freeze Your Brain. Drink Slowly!” Maybe some skull and crossbones, too. I was thinking about standing near the Orange Julius and giving verbal warnings but I didn’t like the way those kids with the visors looked at me. If those kids are gone, I would be willing to go back and say things like, “Easy, easy, not too much at once,” to people who appear to be going hog wild on their drink. If you think your company would like me to be a guest speaker or someone who stands at various Orange Julius’s to give warnings on the dangers of brain freeze, let me know; I think I would be great. Also, I think it would be great if you made a drink for two called the “Romeo and Julius.” What do you think? Your Loyal Customer Buddy Dale Buddy Dale 615 Lake Street Sandpoint, ID 83864 August 6, 2002 Mr. Charles W. Mooty, CEO of IDQ, Inc. International DQ, Inc. 7505 Metro Blvd. Minneapolis, MN 55439 Dear Mr. Mooty: Do you know what Brain Freeze is? If not, you should! In addition to serving up a multitude of innovative and delicious cold drinks, your company also gives out more of these than probably anybody in the world. Mike Randles, NLP

11. Nutty Letter THE RESPONSE Mike Randles, NLP

12. Nutty Letter August 29, 2002 Buddy Dale 615 Lake Street Sandpoint, ID 83864 Dear Mr. Dale: Thank you for contacting Orange Julius of America (OJA) regarding your concern with brain freeze at the Orange Julius® store located in Missoula, MT. I appreciate your taking the time to contact us and relate the details of your experience. Indeed our Orange Julius drinks are frozen and one must be careful to not drink them too fast. I have forwarded your suggestions regarding warnings to our research and development department for their information and investigation. Thank you, Mr. Dale, for taking the time to share your thoughts with us. Please let me know if I can be of further assistance to you. Best regards, ORANGE JULIUS OF AMERICA Carolyn Kidder Carolyn M. Kidder Consumer Relations Manager 952/830-0407 Carolyn.Kidder@idq.com Mike Randles, NLP