Safe and Sacred: Protecting All God’s Children

Safe and Sacred: Protecting All God’s Children Training Component A For use in the Diocese of Crookston Original design and content by the Diocese of Winona

‘Jesus said to his disciples:"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit upon his glorious throne,and all the nations will be assembled before him. And he will separate them one from another,as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will place the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. Then the king will say to those on his right,'Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food,I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me,ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.’Then the righteous will answer him and say,'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you,or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and welcome you,or naked and clothe you? When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?’And the king will say to them in reply,’

'Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of the least brothers of mine, you did for me.’ - MT 25: 31-46

Our concern for the safety of children and young people, not to mention the vulnerable, may be and should be placed within the framework of the “themes of Catholic social teaching.” The first of these themes, given in the document called “Faithful Citizenship,” is the “life and dignity of the human person.” Every human person is created in the image and likeness of God. The conviction that human life is sacred and that each person has inherent dignity is central to our teaching. The measure of every institution, including our Diocese and its parishes, as well as other entities, is whether or not it protects and enhances the life and dignity of the human person, including of course children and young people. Another theme of our social teaching concerns rights and responsibilities. To apply this to our subject matter for today, children and young people, because their persons are holy and sacred, have a right to be protected from physical and sexual abuse, and they have a right to be taught, in an age-appropriate way, about how to recognize danger and safeguard themselves from harm. And we who exercise authority have a duty to respect and uphold these rights of minors. A third theme is our option for the poor and vulnerable. Who, in a sense, is more poor and more vulnerable than children and young people? The younger, the poorer; the younger, the more vulnerable, the younger, the more helpless; the younger, the more exposed to harmful activity by predators. But even those who are about to leave their status as minors, are very vulnerable to clever manipulators who prey on them for sexual gratification. A fourth, and the final theme I will mention, is solidarity. John Paul II said in his encyclical on social concerns that “we are all really responsible for all.” We are our brothers’ and sisters’ keepers, and in a special way we are the keepers of our younger brothers and sisters. So it is in solidarity as a diocese that we must work to protect them from any kind of abuse, including sexual abuse. These, then, are the main faith-based reasons why our Catholic Church, which has suffered because of some horrendously scandalous activity by some of our church personnel, is now taking a leadership role in protecting children and young people. I thank you in advance for your participation in these efforts. - Bishop Victor H. Balke Bishop of Crookston

Training Component A What is Child Abuse?

General Directions (online version) • You will need approximately 30 minutes to complete this training component • As the slide appears, click your mouse button anywhere on the screen and additional print will flow onto the page. • 3. After you have read the contents of the slide, click your mouse button to advance to the next window. • 4. Once you have finished the session, load and complete the test. • 5. Your registration and scoring will automatically be stored in the diocesan Safe Environment database.

General Directions (print version) • You will need approximately 30 minutes to complete this training component • Read carefully through the materials in this booklet. • 3. After you have read the contents of the booklet, remove and complete the test. • 4. Send the completed test to the Safe Environment Office of the Diocese of Crookston • 5. Your registration and scoring will then be stored in the diocesan Safe Environment database, and you will be notified of your test results and provided with a certificate to indicate that you have completed the required training.

When you have completed Component A you will know: • The four kinds of child abuse • Physical and behavioral signs of abuse • Ways to identify certain characteristics of an abuser • The proper response to actual or suspected child abuse

Definitions • A minor child in the State of Minnesota is any person who has not completed their 18th birthday. • A vulnerable person is someone 18 years or older who, because of impairment of mental or physical function or emotional status, is unable or unlikely to report abuse without assistance

There areFour Kinds of Child Abuse • Emotional Abuse • Neglect • Physical Abuse • Sexual Abuse

Emotional Abuse • Any act of mistreatment of a child’s feelings or emotional needs by a person having the care of that child which interferes with psychological or social development causing emotional deprivation or trauma. Note: This may include labeling a child with names such as ‘stupid’, ‘idiot’, or ‘dummy’. Acts that reject, belittle, or ignore children, terrorize them, or isolate them from others are also emotionally abusive.

Signs of Emotional Abuse • A child is either inappropriately adult or infantile • A child shows extremes in behavior such as: • Overly anxious to please • Has a desire to assume blame • Is very passive or aggressive (uncaring or demanding) • A child reports a lack of attachment to parents • A child has attempted suicide • A child shows delay in physical or emotional development

Common behaviors known to be present in individuals who are emotionally abusive • Withholds love or affection from the child • Belittles the child through words and/or actions • Acts distant to the child or shows rejection • Blames the child • Treats siblings unequally • Seems unconcerned about the child’s problems or questions

Emotional abuse is the core of all forms of abuse… The long term effects of child physical and sexual abuse and neglect stem mainly from the emotional aspects of abuse. It is, in fact, the psychological aspect of most abusive behavior that defines it as abusive. Even though the fact that long-term harm from abuse is most often caused by these emotional aspects, emotional abuse is the most difficult of the forms of abuse to substantiate.

Case example A parishioner calls and says that she has the materials from the recent ‘Why Catholic’ gathering in several boxes at her home. She isn’t sure where they should be delivered. You are the deacon and offer to pick them up on the way to the parish today. When you arrive at the home and step into the kitchen, you notice a third grader standing in the corner facing the wall. He has a paper hat on with the word ‘Stupid’ on the front and back. After glancing his way, the woman says, ‘Oh, don’t worry about him. One of these days he’ll learn. When my children misbehave they spend time in the ‘Stupid Corner’. He spends more time than most of the kids, usually an hour at a crack because he does so many stupid things!’ This is clearly more than a standard form of discipline. Acts which are meant to humiliate a child are a form of emotional abuse. The scars inside can go deeper than those we can see on the outside.

Neglect • Failure to give care or proper attention to the basic needs and healthy nurturance of a child. Note: neglect can be emotional, medical, educational, a lack of supervision, or a failure to provide the basics of food, shelter, and protection

Signs of Neglect • Is consistently dirty, unwashed, or hungry • Lacks sufficient clothing • Lacks medical immunizations or needed glasses • Has improper dental care, loose teeth, or infected gums • Begs or steals food or money • Is frequently absent • Loses weight or fails to gain weight • Tells you that no one provides care for them It may be possible that a child is a victim of neglect when the child…

Common behaviors known to be present in an individual who neglects children… • Shows evidence of apathy or futility • Maintains a chaotic home life • Is overly self-absorbed • Misuses alcohol or other drugs • Is mentally ill or of diminished intelligence

Case Example: On a recent sixth grade trip to visit a live Nativity scene at the Cathedral, you notice that Stephan arrives late- as usual- and is dressed again in the same dirty sweatshirt. Even though it is 23°, he has no socks on his feet. You remind him that the class will be outside for about an hour and ask him if he forgot his coat and gloves. He shrugs and says, ‘I guess so’. You offer him some things from the ‘Lost and Found’ and he takes them as the group heads out the door. During the trip, you notice that Stephan stands by himself much of the time and when you return to the classroom for treats, he drinks two cartons of milk and after finishing three sandwiches is tucking another sandwich under his sweatshirt. While grabbing several cookies from the tray, he comments that it’s a lot warmer here than at home because the heat hasn’t been working very well there. There are several signs of possible neglect in this situation. If you notice a continued pattern of indicators with a child, make a call and report what you have observed.

Physical Abuse • Any non-accidental form of injury or harm inflicted on a child by a caregiver. Note: This may include hitting, shaking, bruising, slapping, inappropriate restraint or misuse of medications

Signs of Physical Abuse • Unexplained bruises, broken bones, burns, or welts on the face or body • Cuts or abrasions especially around the mouth or lip area • Fading bruises after an absence from school or regularly attended sports or social activity • Shrinks from touch of adults or appears unusually fearful • Reports an injury by an adult to a parent, teacher, or other trusted individual. • Avoids social contact or seems withdrawn

Common behaviors known to be present in individuals who physically abuse others • Offers unconvincing, illogical, or contradictory explanations for a child’s injury • Uses harsh discipline inappropriate to the child’s age, misbehavior, and condition • Has expectations beyond the age and maturity of the child • Misuses alcohol or drugs • Misperceives the child as evil or bad • Attempts to conceal the child’s injury • Protects the identity of the person responsible for physically abusing a child

Case example As the children’s choir director, you notice that Pamela has a tear-streaked face when she gets to practice. She is quiet and appears upset. You assume she may have had a problem with a friend or sibling just before she came to practice. In an attempt to cheer her up, you ask her and two other children to hand out the new music sheets in the box by the piano. When Pamela bends down to pick up the papers, you notice large, long bruises on the back of her legs. After practice, while Pamela is waiting for her ride you tell her you noticed that she had an ‘owie’ on her legs. She gets very quiet and tells you she needs to go wait in front of the church for her mom. Remember that secrecy is often a source of fear or a belief that there is a promise of safety if nobody knows what happened. If you see unusual bruises on a child, report the suspected abuse.

Sexual Abuse • Sexual interaction or contact between an adult and a minor child or vulnerable person for the sexual gratification or financial gain of the adult. Note: This may include kissing, fondling, inappropriate hugging, exhibitionism, touch, prostitution, or sexual intercourse. It is important to remember that the act itself does not need to involve force, physical contact, or a discernible harmful outcome in order to be defined as abusive.

Behaviors that may indicate that a child or vulnerable person may have been a victim of sexual abuse or may still be experiencing abuse include: Signs of Sexual Abuse • Indicates a fear or dislike of certain people or places • Shows an unusual interest in or knowledge of sexual ideas displayed through language or expressions of affection inappropriate for a child of that age • Repeated sexual play with other children, themselves, toys or pets. • Unexplained pain, swelling, bleeding, or other irritations of the mouth, genital, or anal areas. • Loss of appetite • A return to bedwetting or thumb sucking • Bad dreams or an inability to sleep

Common behaviors known to be present in individuals who sexually abuse children or young people • Extremely protective or jealous of the child • Misuses alcohol or other substances • Often absent from home • Has a difficult time interacting emotionally with adults • Encourages the child to engage in sexual acts or to view pornography • May have been sexually abused as a child • Attempts to develop a special friendship with the child through a process known as ‘grooming’

Grooming: Individuals who sexually abuse children and young people often use a technique called ‘grooming’ to gain the trust of the child. ‘Grooming’ in this sense is nurturing a friendship with a child through bonding, such as by giving the child gifts, taking him or her on special outings, and showing him or her special attention. ‘Grooming’ is an important technique to be aware of because once a child trusts an adult, the adult can influence the child’s attitude towards sexual behavior.

Case example A five-year-old girl named Jenny comes to the Religious Education class on Sunday morning. She asks you, a volunteer working with the program, for help with her cut-and-paste Bible page project. Her hands are full of paste and she gets upset.While you help her to clean her fingers with a wet cloth, Jenny says- ‘My daddy does that on his fingers after he puts them in my pee-pee at night.’ Children rarely lie about sexual abuse. If a child discloses this kind of information , try to remain calm and believe what the child is telling you. Do not pressure the child to talk more about the incident. Report the suspected abuse to your local child protection agency or police.

So, what can you do if you know or even suspect that a child is a victim of abuse?

You have a responsibility to respond While serving in the ministry of the Church (as a member of the clergy, an employee, or a volunteer) you may have the experience of observing actual abuse or the signs of suspected abuse of a child or vulnerable person. Now that you know the four different kinds of child abuse and the common signs and behaviors to look for, you have the responsibility to take appropriate steps to respond.

First: • If you observe that a child is exhibiting any of the signs of child abuse listed in this training session, be aware that the presence of any one single sign does not confirm abuse or neglect. The presence of a number of these indicators and a careful look at the entire situation for evidence that would give you reason to suspect child abuse is important. None of the signs alone proves that a child is being mistreated, but when several signs appear repeatedly it may be cause for concern.

Second: • Write down your observations. If you suspect an act of abuse has occurred, if you actually witnessed abuse, or if someone tells you that they were hurt: Carefully note • Any outward physical signs that you see • Any changes in behavior • Things that the child or vulnerable person has said • Any additional information about what happened

Third: • Make the call! It is your responsibility to report what you know to child protection authorities. The details of your report aid the professionals in this field to complete an appropriate investigation using their knowledge and skills. Your name, as a reporter, is confidential.

Reporting: • A report should never be based on a ‘hunch’, because of something you may have heard about someone. Actual observations about behavior, physical appearance, unexplained injuries, or things the person said to you provide information for a report. This does not mean you must prove abuse…but that you suspect that some kind of abuse has or is taking place because of your awareness of the signs.

Fourth: • The policies and procedures for the protection of children and young people in the Diocese of Crookston reminds clergy and employees of our Catholic parishes and schools that we are mandated reporters. When working with our children in our parishes and classrooms, we also ask our volunteers, not mandated by law, to make the same commitment to keep these sacred young people safe. It is a sad fact that many incidences where children are suspected of being abused are never reported. We have the ability to change that and protect all children and the vulnerable among us in our churches and in the communities where we live.

Reporting: • If you do not know the telephone number of the local Child Protection Agency or law enforcement office, dial 911. • A listing of county social services agencies can be found on the webpage of the Minnesota Department of Human Services (www.dhs.state.mn.us)

More detailed information about reporting suspected or actual abuse can be found in Article Five of the policies and procedures of the Diocese of Crookston, available at your parish or on the diocesan website (www.crookston.org), or in the brochure ‘Guide to Reporting Abuse’.

Child Abuse is REAL! Each year, nearly 7 million children are subject to caretaker violence and studies show that such abuse is common in rural areas. 2000 of these children do not survive. God calls us to open our eyes, our ears, and our hearts to the most vulnerable among us. Thank you for helping to stop this abuse by staying informed. Remember, if you know or suspect a child is being abused- make that call.

To complete the requirements for Component A please complete the following test:

Safe and Sacred: Protecting All God’s Children