Digital Safety Protecting Teens in an On-Line World

1. Digital SafetyProtecting Teens in an On-Line World Seth Wescott, LMLP

2. Who am I? Dad Licensed Masters Level Psychologist Director, Sex Offender Treatment Program Evaluator, Therapist, Speaker, Trainer

3. Topics • Normal vs. Unhealthy Adolescent Development • Social Media: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly • Role of Technology in the Lives of Youth • Sexting, Cyberbullying, Pornography • Questions/Answers Throughout Disclaimer: Adult Content ahead…

4. What is Normal? Teenagers are Supposed to: • Test boundaries • Create autonomy • Choose friends over parents • Develop their identity Parents are Supposed to: • Set and enforce boundaries • Encourage autonomy • Learn about their friends • Support their need to grow

5. The Struggle to be Normal • Test boundaries • Hide, exaggerate, or lie about things • Create autonomy • Challenge parental authority • Choose friends over parents • Social time over family time • Develop their identity • Try to make their own decisions

6. The Struggle to be Normal • Test boundaries • Hide, exaggerate, or lie about things (Who, where, what) • Create autonomy • Challenge parental authority (Being mature enough to have sex) • Choose friends over parents • Social time over family time (BF/GF is most important thing in the WORLD) • Develop their identity • Try to make their own decisions (Being in control of their own body)

7. How Do We as Parents • Set and enforce boundaries • Encourage autonomy • Learn about their friends • Support their need to grow

8. What’s the Age of Consent in KS?

10. Then It Gets Complicated • Age of consent for activities that involve pictures/videos: 18 • Anything sexual recorded or transmitted among teens <18 is illegal • So…for example…

13. Social Networking and Teens • 67% of teenagers say they know how to hide what they do online from parents. • 43% of teens say they would change their online behavior if they knew that their parents were watching them. • 39% think their online activity is private from everyone, including parents. • 38% would feel offended if they found out their parents were spying on them with Facebook parental controls. • 25% would be shocked and hurt if they found out about spying. • 20% of kids think their parents have no idea what they’re doing online. • 18% have created a private email address or separate social networking profile. • 10% have unlocked parental controls to disable filtering.

14. The Good

15. Facebook 2.13 Billion Monthly Active Users 5 new profiles are created every second 83 Million Fake Profiles Average Facebook user has 155 Friends

16. Twitter 330 Million Monthly Active Users 300 Billion Tweets since inception 500 Million Tweets per day Katy Perry: 107 M Followers Justin Bieber: 105 M Followers

17. Instagram 800 Million monthly active users 40 Billion photos shared so far 80% of users come from outside the US

18. The Bad

19. After School “After School is a private space for you and your school where you can find fun stuff about your friends, embarrassing stories, uplifting notes of encouragement”

20. After School • “A safe place for kids to publish thoughts when not at school with no fear that parents will see.” • After School brings authenticity into online communication by utilizing anonymity. Teens can share their thoughts and feelings without worrying that they will be judged. • Post confessions, funny experiences, compliments, feelings, and more • Anonymity is dangerous

21. Askfm “Find out what people want to know about you. Ask questions and get answers on any topic!”

22. ASKfm • Social networking in an anonymous Q&A format • No content monitoring or privacy settings • Extreme bullying due to anonymity • Increase in suicides due to bullying

23. Meetme “MeetMe helps you find new people nearby who share your interests and want to chat now! It's fun, friendly, and free!”

24. MeetMe • Teen focused location-based dating app • Designed to allow strangers to meet and interact • Profiles are public by default • Linked to sex crimes in numerous states • Kids get popularity rating and are encouraged to do things to boost their popularity by seeking approval from strangers online

25. Snapchat “Life's more fun when you live in the moment” Snapchat is a popular messaging app that allows users to send picture, video and messages that self-destruct after a few seconds.

26. Snapchat • 300 Million Active Monthly Users (September 2018) • 3 Billion Snaps created daily (September 2018) • 45% of Users are 18-24 years old • 79% of US Teens (age 13-18) use Snapchat (December 2017) • It would take you 10 years to view all the photos shared on Snapchat in the last hour.

27. Snapchat • Marketed directly to teens • High degree of bullying • Risk for sexualized behavior • Top three most popular apps (Facebook and Instagram)

28. The Ugly

29. Yubo “Make new friends” “Friendship is going to the next level! It's like being at a party and meeting cool people every 10 seconds.”

30. Yubo • 15 Million Downloads • Turns Snapchat into Tinder • Does not have an age limit • Target age group: 13-17 • “Making friends” swipe left and right to meet people just like Tinder • Automatically added as “friends” on Snapchat

32. Monkey “Monkey lets you have fun chats with new people.” 300,000 Active users Created by two teenagers Marketed to teens Highly sexual

33. Monkey • ‘Fill the loneliness void in teenagers' by helping them make internet friends around the world, who they can then talk to on Snapchat. • Allows users to have video chats with complete strangers for 15 seconds • Users can add more time by clicking an icon • Topic boards like chat rooms • “Happened to see my son and his friend using the monkey app, what I witnessed was appalling. Young teens and preteen boys flashing their privates, cursing, grotesque language, name calling, bullying, racist derogitive names, asking the person they're chatting with to show them their private parts.” (Parent Review)

34. Kik “Connecting the world through chat.” 300 million users Target Age Group: 11-15 33% of US Teens use Kik

35. Kik • “Kik is the only mobile-first viral sharing network and the first smartphone messenger with a built in browser. Over 40% of US teens and young adults use Kik to connect with their friends and with their followers on other social networks and games, making Kik the biggest cross-app messenger in the US market.” (kik.com) • Built-in web browser • Search pictures, text, watch videos • Highly sexualized • Type in age range and location and all people who fit that range pop up in your feed • No parental controls or privacy settings • Education.com: one of the worst sites

36. Omegle “Talk to strangers!” “The Internet is full of cool people; Omegle lets you meet them. When you use Omegle, we pick someone else at random so you can have a one-on-one chat.”

37. Omegle • “Talk to strangers” • Skype with people you don’t know • Kids get points (which are worthless) to do things in their videos • High probability of nudity • Adult sex offenders use this app in many ways

38. What Can Parents Do? • Talk to your kids • Come up with reasonable and realistic expectations • Set limits • Stay knowledgeable about new apps • Investigate • Support your child’s need to develop autonomy • Encourage face-to-face interaction as much as possible

39. Sexting • Digital flirting, sexualized texts, nude pictures • Consensually shared between adults • Adults soliciting kids • Maliciously shared among kids • Consensually shared among kids

40. Sexting • The percent of teenagers who have sent or posted nude or semi-nude pictures or videos of themselves: • 20% of teenagers overall • 22% of teen girls • 18% of teen boys • 11% of young teen girls ages 13-16 • The percent of teenagers sending or posting sexually suggestive messages: • 39% of all teenagers • 37% of teen girls • 40% of teen boys

41. Sexting Relentless pressure Fear of rejection Fear of bullying Self-esteem

42. Which Scenario is Scarier?

43. Kids Need to Know • This happens • Felony, Felony, Felony (3 different ways) • Don’t ask for pictures • Don’t reciprocate • How to tell someone you like them (flirting)

44. Cyberbullying • Aggression and targeted harm through the use of the internet, screens, and other technology • Mean comments, damaging things • Social networking sites and apps are vehicles through which it happens • Cyberbullying happens 24/7 and is distributed quickly to a wide audience • Easy way to spread rumors or get revenge • Stopping it or refuting it is very difficult • Anonymity = viciousness • Has led to an increase in suicide

46. Kids Need to Know • This happens • This happens on accident too • Not to reciprocate • Not to stay silent • How to block/report • How to give constructive criticism

47. Pornography • “Any form of media whose sole purpose is sexual stimulation” • 1980s-1990s: age at first exposure = 16.5 • Now: 9 or 10 • Almost all kids are exposed to pornography by the time they enter puberty • Only 25% will tell an adult at first exposure • 30% of the internet is pornography (400,000 websites) • Larger than Amazon, Netflix, Twitter combined • How do kids first see pornography these days?

48. What is “Normal” Anymore? • Adolescent development is fluid, always changing • They are supposed to explore, test boundaries, create own identity • Unfortunately, sex is part of growing up

49. How to Know If It is Unhealthy • It’s illegal • It’s not consensual • It’s done for exploitation • It’s done for revenge • It’s done for attention

50. Keeping Teens on the Right Track • Positive family functioning (e.g. adequate supervision, consistent and fair discipline) • Positive peer social group and availability of supportive adult • Commitment to school • Pro-social attitudes • Emotional maturity • Self-regulation • Problem-solving skills