Emotional Intelligence: The Human & Distinguishing Dimension of Leadership & Client Relationships

1. Emotional Intelligence: The Human & Distinguishing Dimension of Leadership & Client Relationships Jon Morse 210-286-7041 TheCenterForSuccess.com

2. Behavioral Assessments (pre-hire & development) • Group / team exercises & workshops • Wellness, individual & business coaching • Helping guests “kick back” in Fredericksburg A Place In Time B&B

3. Goals & Agenda • Characteristics of a great leader • Emotional Intelligence overview • Become your own 3 Second Coach • What’s in it for me and my organization? • Feedback and Drawing

4. Leadership Characteristics • Sticky note • Write one characteristic of an outstanding leader you’ve worked with on your sticky note • Hang on to them

5. What Do We mean by EI? “The capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships.” (Goleman)

6. What IS IQ, EQ, EI? • Performance Success: • IQ = 4-10% • Expertise = 10-15 % • EQ or EI = 80% • Too much college, too little kindergarten . . .

7. What we know about IQ • Predicts school grades relatively well • Peaks in late teens • Helps one get into top universities • Executive levels typically require higher IQ • Stable over time • Poor predictor of job success • Does not predict happiness in life

8. EI / EQ – Some Facts • Empirically linked to superb job performance • Relates directly to success in life • Is a critical component to a leader’s success • Different than IQ; EQ can be changed and raised

9. EI Research • EI accounts for 75% of Job Success • AT&T found nearly 60% of job performance is linked to EI • Pepsi division leaders outperformed targets by 15% • L’Oreal realized $91,370 increase per head for sales and had 63% less turnover • Hallmark staff were 25% more productive

10. Emotional Intelligence Four-Quadrant Model Self Others Awareness Self Awareness Other Awareness Self Management Relationship Management Management

11. Belsten 24 Quadrant EI Model

12. CORTEX LIMBIC SYSTEM BRAINSTEM CEREBELLUM AMYGDALA HIPPOCAMPUS Brain Stem (reason/logic/IQ) (emotion) (survival) (automatic movements) (emotional memory) (events stored) (Breathing, heart rate) How Our Brain Works Brain Development and Emotional Development

13. Hijacking • The physically lower limbic system, which rules emotions, can hijack the higher mental functions of the neocortex • MRI’s have shown that the “hot” emotional centers of the brain can interfere with the “cool” cognitive processes of the brain • Heart rate, breathing, reflexes, decrease in working memory (RAM)

14. A RELATIONSHIP EXISTSBETWEEN:Intentions -> Emotions -> BehaviorFeelings impact behavior

15. Law of Hardwiring • Emotion comes before thought • We feel before we think

16. 3 Second Coach tm

17. 3 Second Coach tm • Assess • Commit • Execute

18. Assess • Self-coach • Observe non-conflict situations • Pay close attention to your physical reactions • Practice scanning situations and people • Triggers & Voices

19. Assess • Mood is a framework or background - emotion is a reaction to a situation. • Your self coach must become aware of your triggers. • Learn to self talk • Certain voices appear over and over

20. Assess your Triggers • Hot Words / Buttons • Perceived Criticism • Illness/ Physical Conditions • Situations Beware of Multiple Triggers

21. Assess: What are your hot buttons? • It makes me angry when…. • I don’t like it when people… • I feel offended when… • I think it’s rude to… • At work, I wish people would….

22. Assess: What are your hot buttons? • At work, I think it would be a better place if people would stop… • It makes me crazy when… • If people would only… • It makes me angry when people say… • I get irritated when I come into work and…

23. Assess: What are your hot buttons? • Why is it useful to identify our triggers? • Our teammates’ triggers? • What steps can we take to overcome our triggers or our emotional reactions to triggers? • How can being aware of our teammates’ triggers help our team?

24. Assess: What are your hot buttons? • How can being aware of our teammates’ triggers improve our interactions? • What steps can we take to understand our teammates’ triggers? • Under what circumstances are our triggers more likely to be a problem and set off a negative emotional reaction?

25. Assess or Pause Pausing Self-Control Behave according to our intentions

26. Assess • Breathe • Physically Shift Body • Seek information

27. Commit • Do you commit or do you let someone else decide? • Is someone else in control? • What is your intention? • Are you staying in sync with your values? • Are you behind the wheel?

28. Commit with Optimism Research has linked optimism with: • High Performance • Happiness • Authenticity • Quality of Relationships • Emotional Intelligence

29. Commit with Optimism Optimism Assumption: “I can do something to change this situation for the better.” versus “ Probably nothing I do will make any difference.”

30. Commit with Optimism Optimism-EI link: Optimism directly affects both… • How we scan/assess • What we see (what we look for)

31. Execute • How do we get really, really, really good at execution?

32. EQ + Execution = Results When people strengthen their Emotional Intelligence with a 3 Second Coach: • They perform better • Treat each other better • Get more out of going to work It helps create an environment in which higher performance is achieved and everybody wins.

33. EQ - What is in it for me? • Deal with others more effectively • Handle daily demands better • Greater goal achievement • Feel better about yourself and others • Have a better attitude • Enhance performance • Just sleep better

34. EQ – What is in it for my organization? Without high EQ proficiency, it is highly unlikely an organization can effectively cope with: • Pressure from competition • Intricacies of building effective teams • Handling conflict • Fostering confidence • Managing change • Building ‘esprit de corps’

35. Based on what you’ve heard today…. Give me one example of behavior change you are going to commit to?

36. Let’s wrap it up • Assess this experience…complete evaluation • Drawing for the book = business cards • Let’s talk

37. Book Drawing EQ vs. IQ Exercise

38. Emotional Intelligence: The Human & Distinguishing Dimension of Leadership & Client Relationships Jon Morse 210-286-7041 TheCenterForSuccess.com