Feedback on content & structure

1. Feedback on content & structure

2. Outline • How to understand feedback on: • Introductions & Thesis Statements • Paragraphing & Coherence in the body • Academic Language • Essay Formatting Tips

3. introduction What is meant to be in an Introduction? • A general introduction to the topic: context and background and the significance of the topic. • A brief explanation of what arguments will be made in order to convince the reader. (Thesis statement and/or Aims of your essay) • How the question be answered? What points will you discuss to support your argument?

4. Significance of the topic Essay Question: “Should Policy Makers prioritise poverty reduction over environmental issues?” • Response 1: “ it is important for students to discuss and understand poverty and environmental issues” = BAD • Response 2: “poverty and environmental issues both plague South Africa, assessing which to focus on is part of the crucial process of mapping South Africa’s future”

5. Thesis statements The common mistakes are: • Repeating the essay question: “This paper will discuss if policy makers should focus more on poverty reduction rather than environmental policies.” • Argument with no evidence/premise: “Policy makers in South Africa should focus more on poverty reduction.” • Argument with illogical evidence: “Policy makers in South Africa should focus more on poverty reduction as the number of people who die each year in South Africans is alarmingly high.”

6. Paragraphs • A paragraph should start with a topic sentence that describes what that paragraph is about. • Linking sentences that explain the continuity or discontinuity with a previous idea/paragraph. • Paragraphs should appear in a logical order. • Conclude each paragraph with a statement about how that material supports the thesis. • A paragraph is often between 3-5 sentences. It may be more, but it should not exceed half a page of typed text.

7. coherence • Each paragraph should make one clear main point. Take one idea at a time, develop it to its logical conclusion, and then move on to the other idea/theory/concept/argument. • Avoid starting with one idea/theory, bringing up another author, and then going back to the original theory all in the same paragraph, unless you are drawing a specific contrast between the different theories.

8. Related vs. Relevant Information Imagine a classroom with 15 desks. You are asked to write a short response to the question: “How many desks are in this classroom?” {18 words maximum} • Related: Without desks, it is hard for students to write down any notes. • Relevant: There are three rows which consist of five desks each. • The Answer: There are fifteen desks in the classroom.

9. Academic language Do not use the first person - “I” or “we” Rather use: - It will be argued... - This essay will illustrate... - This essay shows that... - The position taken in this essay is that.... - This discussion focuses on...

10. Academic language Do not use slang, wordy/poetic language, clichés and other forms of speech that are only appropriate in less formal contexts. • Example: South Africa bit off more than it could chew on Zimbabwe. • Instead use: South Africa faced major challenges confronting Zimbabwe. • Example: The US intervention was too little, too late. • Instead use: The US intervention began too late to accomplish its goals.

11. Academic language Be confident in your argument. Avoid words /phrases like: it seems like/maybe/it feels like/perhaps. Scholars/theorists are talked about in the present tense, rather than in the past tense. ‘Plato argued that’ = incorrect ‘Plato argues that’ = correct A theory cannot say or argue. The people who subscribe to that theory can argue, say, believe, etc. e.g. Realists argue that…

12. Helpful Phrases for Academic Writing Providing context: • Recent work in the field has shown… • It is generally accepted that… Weakening a statement: • This is possibly… • Naidoo’sargument is not completely… Showing disagreement: • While the discussion makes some good points, there are serious flaws in the arguments.

13. Writing Clearly • Deviation from the ordinary humdrum of common routine of existence is that which provides zest to Man’s cycle of existence. • One should abstain from unnecessarily postponing to a future juncture that which one can effect immediately.

14. conclusion Common Comments: • This is not a conclusion: The Conclusion of the paper should refer back to the thesis statement and highlight briefly the strengths and weaknesses of the central argument as outlined in the body of the paper • This is new information/ a new idea!: you may not introduce new information in a conclusion!

15. Essay formatting tips: • Include your own Title • Number your pages • For hard copies, submit a cover page with a signed plagiarism declaration. • Justify the text (Highlight the entire essay then Ctrl+ J): this creates a clean look along the left and right side of the page. • Use a legible & formal font. E.g. Times New Roman (12pt) & 1.5 spacing.

16. Essay formatting tips: • Do not exceed the word limit, you can be penalised for exceeding the word limit. Include a word count. • Reference ideas as you introduce/use them, not at the end of paragraphs. • Another thing to keep in mind is to balance your essay. If the question is asking a two-part question, make sure you cover both questions, probably spending half of the essay on one question and half on the other.