CRETE Dialogue Day 4

1. CRETEDialogueDay 4 Christa Tinari and Catrina Cuevas

2. “dialogue” A conversation or discussion between two persons to reach an agreement An exchange between a person and something else An exchange of ideas and opinions Adapted from Webster’s online dictionary www.websters-online-dictionary.org and www.m-w.com

3. “Dialogue” • Any conversation that is characterized by a search for understanding, rather than aiming for agreements or solutions • The purpose of Dialogue is to provide an opportunity for all participants: • 1) to really express themselves • 2) to really be heard • 3) to develop and deepen mutual understanding and respect and • 4) to learn about the perspectives of others’ and explore and reflect on one’s own feelings and views

4. Debate “…a conversation structured as a competition of participants and views. It involves stating a starting position, rebutting opposing positions, defending one’s starting position with counter attacks, and seeing who wins. One listens for points of disagreement, protects one’s starting views, and acts in an adversarial manner” Poliner and Benson www.esrnational.org

5. Fight to prove someone wrong Competitive relationship Threatening atmosphere The goal is winning Believe there is only 1 solution Don’t care about other’s feelings, hopes and ideas Defend yourself Listen to find flaws Search for weakness Criticize the other Collaborative, sides work together Builds relationship Identify and share commonalities Contributes to problem solving Believe in many solutions Sensitive to feelings, hopes and ideas of others Improve on your ideas Search for good and encourages open-mindedness Debate Dialogue Adapted from Poliner and Benson www.esrnational.org

6. Participants tend to be leaders Attacks and interruptions Differences within sides are denied or minimized Unswerving commitment Statements are predictable Success requires simple impassioned statements Speak from own unique experiences An atmosphere of safety Differences in beliefs and values are explored Listen to understand and gain insight New information surfaces Success requires exploration Debate Dialogue Adapted from PCP Toolkit 1992

7. Dialogue in Conflict Resolution and School Settings • Appropriateness • Setting • Context • Level • Benefits • Challenges

8. PCP Toolkit: Designing, Facilitating, and Following-Up Dialogues • A model for an Introductory Dialogue • Before, during and after the Dialogue • Common Phases in an Opening Meeting • Entry, opening comments, introductions, agreements, opening questions by facilitator, participants questions, middle phase, next steps, reflections and parting words • Beginning a Dialogue Session: Go-Rounds & Questions • Sample Ground rules (Agreements) for Dialogue • Self-Help Tools for Participators • Guidelines for Facilitators • Protocol for Follow-up Interview

9. Food for Thought Judgments of others are alienated expressions of our own unmet needs. ~Marshall Rosenberg The forms of speaking we have available to us regulate the forms of thinking, feeling and meaning-making to which we have access, which in turn constrain how we see the world and act in it. ~Kegan & Lahey