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OOTS Lesson One

OOTS

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OOTS Lesson One

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    1. OOTS Lesson One Dels story Sexual addiction: places a sick relationship to an event or a process for a healthy relationship with others The mood altering experience becomes central to the addict Addiction distorts reality, the sexual addictions becomes a form of insanity

    3. OOTS Lesson One The belief system contains potent family messages about a persons value or worth relationships, needs & sexuality (p 15) Addicts do not perceive themselves as worthwhile persons, nor do they believe people would care for them or meet their needs if everything was know about them

    4. OOTS Lesson One Sex is the most important need. Sex makes isolation bearable Sex always does what it promises for the moment. Thus, the addiction is with sex, not people. Impaired thinking, defensive rationalizations, arguments, excuses, justifications & circular reasoning.

    5. OOTS Lesson One The Addiction Cycle Preoccupation obsession for stimulation Ritualization special routines that add arousal & intensify excitement Compulsive sexual behavior acting out Despair feelings of hopelessness and powerlessness (p 26)

    6. OOTS Lesson One People become objects of self-gratification It is the pursuit, the hunt, the search, the suspense heightened by the unusual, the stolen, the forbidden, the illicit that are intoxicating to the sexual addict. The 1st two phases of the addiction cycle (preoccupation & ritual) are not always visible. They want to appear normal.

    7. OOTS Lesson One The addict spends a lot of energy not letting his secret life affect his public life This leads to isolation from family, friends, activities, etc. Isolation leads to losing touch with himself until he can no longer hide his secrets Carries story (p 27)

    8. OOTS Lesson One 38% of sex addicts have an eating disorder Alcoholism is often concurrent with sexual addiction 42% of sex addicts have a CD 50-70% of coke addicts have a sexual addiction Less than 13% of sexual addicts have just a sexual addiction in isolation

    9. OOTS Lesson One 17% have attempted suicide 72% have contemplated suicide Recovery from SA is the reversal of the alienation that is integral to the addiction Also, trust in others needs to be reestablished 12 step programs have the most success

    10. OOTS Lesson One Herbs story (p 33) The first task of recovery is to focus on the uncontrollable behavior Dons story (p 35)

    11. OOTS Lesson One THREE LEVELS OF ADDICTION One normal, acceptable or tolerable (masturbation, porn & prostitution) Two Victimizing, breaking laws, nuisance behaviors (voyeurism, exhibitionism) Three Serious (incest, rape, child molestation)

    12. OOTS Lesson One Level one (compulsivity = addiction) Masturbation for the SA, it is degrading and compulsive. It is the central part of the day. Feelings of frustration & loneliness are prominent. Masturbation equals failure, a loss of manhood, punishment.

    13. OOTS Lesson One Level one Compulsive relationships the other person becomes an obsession. The relationship becomes empty, joyless & demoralizing. One night stands, internet obsession, and cruising Chris story (p 41)

    14. OOTS Lesson One Level one Pornography, strip shows & centerfolds the obsession is visual, $$ is spent Prostitution & anonymous sex - (Jim, p. 46 & Steve, p. 48) Level one addicts rarely stay at level one

    15. OOTS Lesson One Level two legal sanctions, the offender is seen as pathetic & socially inadequate Exhibitionism not uncommon to have 200-300 exposures before an arrest. Has decreased with cuseeme web technology. The car is a common method and can become a cue to start the ritual.

    16. OOTS Lesson One Level two Voyeurism sustained by excitement and loses track of time, masturbation often accompanies the activity (Pete, p. 54) Scatalogia usually masturbates during the phone call Minirapes, frotteurism touching without consent, usually called accidents

    17. OOTS Lesson One Level three Child molestation, incest nambla.org, usually acting out their own abuse Rape, sexual violence (Bill, p. 62) Figure 2.1, p 66

    18. OOTS Lesson One Each level of sexual addiction is painful Deviant behavior does not always indicate the presence of an addiction All 3 levels of addiction transcend personality, gender & socioeconomic status (p. 68)

    19. OOTS Lesson One Sexual behaviors within & between levels reinforce one another Sexual behavior in each level is connected with behaviors due to other kinds of addiction

    20. OOTS Lesson One John (p. 77) Why the advent of cybersex? Anonymity, risk of being discovered is reduced, Access almost any type of sexual behavior Denial it is not virtual, no ones getting hurt, there is no physical contact Dorie (p. 82)

    21. OOTS Lesson One Compulsive cybersex involves rapid escalation of amount & variety of sex Escalation of cybersex use obsessional with new behaviors becoming quickly fixated Cybersex addiction involves significant relational regression

    22. OOTS Lesson One Compulsive cybersex accelerates already addictive behavior Compulsive cybersex can result in offline sex addiction The computer & internet become sexualized

    23. OOTS Lesson One Arousal Template behavior can become sexualized & create neurological pathways that increase the addiction (p. 88-90) Cermak brothers (p. 93)

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