How to approach another person

1. How to approach another person 2014 LLC Summer Services Congregation Evening — July 4 —Rogers, Minnesota Based on Aimo Helén’s presentation at 2013 SRK Speakers and Elders Meeting: Toisen ihmisen kohtaaminen

2. How to approach another person Our attitude towards others, an age-old question

3. God’s grace engenders love that serves • We are not to be indifferent towards the needs of our neighbor • But caring and loving • Forgiveness engenders a loving mind

4. Cain and Abel • Cain killed his brother in rage • When God approached him, Cain said, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” • Sin caused Cain to be harsh, envious, and insensitive

5. Conflicts in Patriarch Jacob’s family • Joseph sold by brothers into slavery, but did not become bitter • His faith engendered love to forgive his brothers • Love gave him strength to serve his brothers

6. Abundant forgiveness kindles abundant love

7. The Good Samaritan • Man lay half dead • Two passed by • The third stopped and administered aid • He was ready to use time, skills, and money to help • The Good Samaritan followed the teachings of the Lord Jesus

8. Jesus teaches: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbor as thyself.” (Luke 10:27). Our redeemer deepens his earlier teachings in the Sermon on Mount: “Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies and pray for them that persecute you.” (Matt. 5: 43–44). He summarizes the law in the Golden Rule: “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.” (Matt. 7:12).

9. “When God in His grace forgives our sins, it gives birth to love, thankfulness, and obedience of faith in our hearts. These cause us to serve God and our neighbors.” Christian Doctrine (KO 85, 1948) • But sin clings to us and dims our visions of faith. • Indifference, self-sufficiency, and even hardness have a tendency to replace love. • The gospel renews and gives strength to approach another person as our neighbor. • Approaching another means interaction and fellowship, but it is also caring for, giving, and receiving.

10. The best gift we can share in conveying is living faith. • God gives the gift of living faith. • We have been given the task of being ambassadors for Christ. • God speaks through us: In Christ God reconciled the world to Himself. He did not count our sins against us or the rest of the world. He entrusted to His own the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God makes his appeal through us. We implore the world on behalf of Christ to be reconciled to God. (2 Cor. 5: 19–20).

11. Be near and listen • All of us have different life’s circumstances. • Some meet so many people that they need down time. • Others are lonely and wish that even one person would stop and brighten their day. • We must give up our own comfort for the good of others.

12. Many of our contacts are superficial and hurried.

13. Kansainvälisyyslinja Be near and listen • A friendly look, a smile, and a few positive words can do wonders. • It may also open an opportunity for even deeper discussion.

14. One wintry Sunday a couple is walking to church. A familiar retiree joins them who is asked the customary question: “How’s it going?” The honesty of the reply is startling. He talks of loneliness and about the agony of having to let go of a loved one. Muddled expressions of sympathy are returned with insufficient words. They get to church door and the conversation is over.

15. The same people meet again at coffee after church. The threshold for starting a conversation is now lower. They talk about common experiences, at times more superficial, and then at times deeper. When the discussion ends, it seems as if the day is brighter. The interaction gave something to all parties involved. The door to subsequent visits is left ajar.

16. Approaching without prejudice • Hard to overcome our fears to approach someone. • Our fears are often unjustified. • Care for human relations — come close and talk. • Pray for strength from God to warmly and genuinely approach another.

17. It’s okay to justBe near and listen! • We want to fix the problem. • Aid and advice can be given, but come from below. • Some just need to share their burden and have a listening ear and heart. • Hectic pace of life prevents heart to heart confidential visits. • For someone surrounded by the difficulties, cares, and the chaos of life, such a moment could be the start of a new, better life.

18. Esteem and respect for others • Often define relationship with others on basis of their characteristics. • Easy to a admire friendly, good-looking, brave, capable, dignified, talented person. • Not easy to admire a person who to us seems to have negative traits. • Those negative characteristics may cause irritation, anxiety, restlessness, and even fear. • How can we have esteem and respect for such a neighbor?

19. The apostle Paul exhorts us to prefer one another in honor (Rom. 12:10). He also reminds us to be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love. Later the apostle tells us not to be wise in our own conceits and not to mind high things, but to condescend to men of low estate, attempting to live peaceably with all men. He also exhorts us to bless them which persecute us (Rom. 12:14–18).

20. • Genuinely respecting another means giving human value in spite of characteristics. • The love of God teaches to accept ourselves and our neighbors as unique creations of God. • • Treat all people as equals created by God. • • We respect different cultures and religious customs, but not at the expense of faith.

21. Love for one’s neighbor and fruits of living faith do not include constant criticism, suppression, and derision of another person, or cold indifference. • Respecting another person does not mean humbling before someone stronger or submission in fear of the use of force. • We don’t always have to be of the same mind, but respect one another’s thoughts.

22. True respect includes readiness to question behavior that can hurt one or the other or both. • True respect means treating the other person as a discerning individual who is capable of making his or her own decisions. • It teaches us to take into consideration and understand the needs, hopes, fears, and even the dreams of our neighbor.

23. Helping someone in difficulty • Being near and listening is important, but caring and helping in a concrete manner is also important. • Do what we can to assure that those in an accident or stricken with an illness get professional help. • Those suffering mental illness need help and understanding.

24. • A neighbor with financial difficulties needs help. • A dark cloud for an increasing number of people. • Financial problems can have detrimental effects. • Feelings of shame, insufficiency, inferiority, and guilt can incapacitate a person and result in mental health problems.

25. Approaching a person with financial difficulties requires great sensitivity. • They don’t need a lecture on what they’ve done wrong. • Talking, sharing the burden, the one in need may realize that it’s not as bad as it originally appeared. • Help them believe it’s possible to recover like from other crises. • Sometimes it may be possible to provide short term help. • Encourage use of a professional.

26. Paul writes to the Romans: “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” (Rom. 12:15). The apostle’s exhortation is suitable instruction for us, also, when we encounter suffering and express sympathy. It is not always possible to eliminate illnesses, financial difficulties, life’s trials, and the suffering and bad feeling they cause, but even then it is possible to be empathetic.

27. Helping someone in difficulty • If some is experiencing health problems, we can encourage professional care. • Yet we should respect the decisions of the one in difficulty. • Listening and being near the weary is often sufficient.

28. Helping someone in difficulty • The load on the listener dealing with problems and suffering. • Important to take care of one’s own health, marriage, and family. • There is only so much you can do.

29. Approaching the grieving… • Don’t worry about words. • Be near and listen! • Let them talk, express grief and their mixed and confused emotions. • Don’t require them to be happy.

30. • Don’t say to forget. • Offer to help with chores or business. • When the grieving shares their innermost thoughts, keep them confidential.

31. Approaching someone who thinks differently • Our culture, background, and birth place create our identity. • Life introduces us to new things and ways of thinking all the time. • Hard to understand others who have grown up differently. • We cannot accept everything, but respect our neighbor for who they are.

32. North America is a continent of immigrants.merica is

33. The Word of God teaches us to treat them all the same.

34. The Old Testament beautifully describes how immigrants were treated in Hebron in the land of Canaan. Abraham’s wife Sarah had died, so he approached the local inhabitants—the sons of Heth—and said: “I am a stranger and a sojourner with you: give me a possession of a burying place with you, that I may bury my dead out of my sight.” The children of Heth answered Abraham: “Hear us, my lord: thou art a mighty prince among us: in the choice of our sepulchers bury thy dead.” (Gen. 23: 2–6).

35. God’s congregation has endeavored to preserve unity of the Spirit. • Unanimity essential regarding core matters of faith. • Paul writes to the Galatians: “I marvel that ye are so soon removed from him that called you into the grace of Christ unto another gospel: which is not another; but there be some that trouble you, and would pervert the gospel of Christ.” (Gal. 1: 6–7).

36. After many storms, battles, and even strayings, God has always gathered His children together into the congregation of those who believe in the same way. • Apostle Paul’s words to the believers in Ephesus are still true: “There is one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in one hope of your calling.” (Eph. 4: 3–5)

37. In recent times we have been preoccupied with the realization that some of our friends think differently about matters of faith and life than is taught in the kingdom. • They still claim to be believers even though their tie to the congregation may have been severed. • How should I relate to such a friend? • The Apostle Paul reminds the believers in Colossae: “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another.” (Col. 3:16).

38. Approaching someone who thinks differently • A person who has left on a different path of faith and life may long for contact. • We can turn to God in prayer for wisdom to approach such a one in a comfortable manner. • Christ’s love teaches forbearance.

39. • We approach all people as God’s created to whom we wish all good things. • Good to create a secure, confidential atmosphere for open discussion so that the individual would be free to even question matters. • Good to search for answers to even difficult questions within the kingdom. Approaching someone who thinks differently

40. The children of God are guided by an unerring adviser, the Spirit of truth, which guides us into all truth. (John 16:13).

41. Each person must make their own choices in life — even giving up faith. • Difficult for the one who has left and believing family and friends — Grieving process. • Remember that it is often very difficult for the one who has left. • We must accept their decision, though so very hard, and show LOVE! • Comfort: With God everything is possible. He hears our prayers!

42. How did Jesus approach the denier?

43. Ambassadors of Christ All children of God are priests of the Holy Spirit: “But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.” (1 Peter 2:9). When we meet another person, when the opportunity arises, we can explain what is most important to us—how we have received peace into our soul. We want to invite our neighbor to also become an owner of this peace.

44. We are often timid to even confess our own faith, not to speak of more broadly talking about matters of faith. Fortunately, as ambassadors of God we do not have to “make a career of this work.” The Heavenly Father has promised to provide the opportunity, the power, and the right words. Our own behavior, choices in life, and a few imperfectly uttered words can lead God’s chosen one into His kingdom.

45. In sowing the word we encounter many kinds of recipients. Sometimes the ground is so hard there is no possibility for growth or then weeds choke the sprouts. What’s more, there are sowers of weeds in our midst. Regardless of these difficulties, we have been charged to do this work. The Heavenly Father causes the sown seed to find good ground and He gives it growth.

46. Ambassadors of Christ May the apostle’s experience encourage us: “And I, brethren, when I came to you, came not with excellency of speech or of wisdom, declaring unto you the testimony of God. And I was with you in weakness, and in fear, and in much trembling. And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man’s wisdom, but in the demonstration of the Spirit and of power: that your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.” (1 Cor. 2: 1–5).