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Theories of Love. Sternberg’s Triangle Theory of Love. Three ingredients of love. Passion – (Infatuation) euphoria and sexual excitement, physical attraction Intimacy – (Liking) comfort with sharing, feeling close, understanding
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Three ingredients of love • Passion – (Infatuation) euphoria and sexual excitement, physical attraction • Intimacy – (Liking) comfort with sharing, feeling close, understanding • Commitment – (Empty love) needing to be with the person, loyalty
Additions to the triangle • Romantic love - drawn physically to each other but are also bonded emotionally • Companionate love - an intimate, non-passionate type of love that is stronger than friendship because of the element of long-term commitment. • Fatuous love - be exemplified by a whirlwind courtship and marriage. a commitment is made on the basis of passion without the stabilizing influence of intimate involvement
IDEAL LOVE • Intimacy + commitment + passion = consummate love • All elements of love are present
Triangle Theory in Practice • Through the years of a relationship, passion decreases and intimacy increases. • Intimacy based on deep knowledge of a person. • Passion based on emotion.
Attachment Theory Review • Recall: Infant attachment styles (secure, avoidant, anxious-ambivalent, based on Strange Situation.) • Secure – Upset when mom left, comforted when she returns. • Avoidant – Did not care if mom left, treated stranger the same as mom. • Anxious-Ambivalent – Protested when mom left, not comforted, even angry with her when she returns.
Attachment Theory of Love • Acquire attachment styles in part from how parents cared for them.
Attachment Theory of Love • Securely attached lovers • (59%) Rarely jealous, do not worry about abandonment. • Avoidant • (25%) Avoid intimate relationships. • Anxious/Ambivalent • (11%) Always worried about relationships, “clingy”, fall victim to unrequited love (one sided).
Summary of Love Theories • Love styles are not necessarily permanent. • Can vary over time and with new partners. • 1st love – romantic • 3rd love – more realistic • Game-players can become committed • Thinking critically about love, and working hard at it, can make it a truer and richer experience.