Writing Concisely

1. Writing Concisely A Workshop for Ms Bamford’s Writing Expectations

2. What you will need….. • Your Writer’s Notebook • Highlighter • For each of these slides, you will need to find evidence of these words or phrases within your own writing. • You will also need to take notes on these forms of writing, as we will refer to them in class

3. Get out your highlighter • Eliminate Redundant Pairs: when the first word in a pair has roughly the same meaning as the second, choose one. • Common Examples: full and complete, each and every, hopes and dreams, whole entire, first and foremost, true and accurate, always and forever

4. Get out your highlighters • Delete Unnecessary Qualifiers: Qualifiers make a piece of writing appear less confident • Common Examples: actually, really, basically, probably, very, definitely, somewhat, kind of, extremely, practically • Example: Basically, the character feels this way because… • Edited: The character feels this way because…

5. Get out your highlighters • Identify and Reduce Prepositional Phrases: phrases beginning with “in”, “for”, “at”, “on”, “through”, and “over”. • Example: The reason for the failure of the basketball team of the University of North Carolina in the Final Four game against the team from Kansas was that on that day and at that time, some players were frequently unable to rebound the ball • Edited: UNC’s basketball team lost the final Four game against Kansas because it could not consistently rebound the ball.

6. Get out your highlighters • Locate and Delete Unnecessary Modifiers: sometimes the meaning of a word or phrase implies its modifier, making the modifier unnecessary • *modifiers are words, phrases, or clauses that provide description in sentences • Example: Do not try to anticipate in advance those events that will completely revolutionize society. • Edited: Do not try to anticipate revolutionary events.

7. Get out your highlighters • Replace a Phrase with a Word: These phrases usually crop up in formal writing pieces, but they detract from rather than add to meaning. • Example: In the event that going out for the purpose of eating with them cannot be avoided, it is necessary that we first go to the ATM, in light of the fact that I am out of cash. • Edited: If we must go out to eat with them, we should first go to the ATM because I am out of cash.

8. Get out your highlighters • Identify Negatives and Change them to Affirmations: Expressing ideas in a negative forms means you must use an extra word: it also makes readers work harder to figure out your meaning. • Example: If you do not have more than five years experience, do not call for an interview if you have not already spoken to human resources. • Edited: Applicants with more than five years experience can bypass human resources and call for an interview.

9. Get out your highlighters • Get rid of sentences ending with a preposition: sentences ending with a preposition appear to be informal, as well as, weak. • Example: “The oddly shaped ruler was used to intimidate children with.” • Edited: “The oddly shaped ruler was used with which to intimidate children.” • Prepositions are: of, with, to, but, as, is by, from, since, before, on, etc.