Family Counseling Services of Greater Miami, Inc./The Journey Institute Program Presents:

1. Safe Students: Teen Dating Violence and Abuse Prevention Family Counseling Services of Greater Miami, Inc./The Journey Institute Program Presents: Christina Lalama, LMHC Program Coordinator/ Therapist Sexual Violence Prevention Program

2. Why is preventing teen dating violence important? • 72% of 8th and 9th graders “date” • It is important that teens recognize and understand what constitutes a healthy relationship. • The lessons teens learn today about respect, healthy vs. unhealthy relationships, and what is right or wrong may carry over into future relationships. • Relationships that occur in the teen years may affect dating relationships later in life.

3. Several studies suggest that adolescents do not see the negative consequences of dating violence in their friends' lives. • In one study, 31% of adolescents reported having at least one friend who was in a violent relationship. • Acceptance of dating violence among friends is one of the strongest links to being involved in future dating violence. • Qualities like respect, good communication, and honesty are requirements for a healthy relationship. Adolescents who do not recognize these qualities in relationships before they begin to date may have trouble forming healthy, nonviolent relationships with others.

4. FACTS • In a nationwide survey of students in grades 9-12, nearly one in 10 students reported being hit or physically hurt on purpose by a boyfriend or girlfriend at least once in the past 12 months. • About one in four teens reports verbal, physical, emotional, or sexual violence each year • About one in five high school girls has been physically or sexually abused by a dating partner. • Adolescents who are victims of dating violence not only are at increased risk for injury, but are also more likely to report binge drinking, suicide attempts, physical fighting, and sexual activity.

5. Approximately 8% of boys and 9% of girls have been to an emergency room for an injury received from a dating partner. • About 70% of girls and 52% of boys who are victims of dating violence report an injury from a violent relationship. • About 72% of students in 8th and 9th grade report "dating."1 By the time they are in high school, 54% of students report dating violence among their peers. • About one in five teens reports being a victim of emotional abuse.6

6. Consequences of teen Dating Violence • Dating violence is associated with unhealthy sexual behaviors that can lead to unintended pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, and HIV infections. • Rates of drug, alcohol, and tobacco use are more than twice as high in girls who report physical dating violence or sexual abuse than in girls who report no violence. • Bruises, scratches, or other injuries • Missed classes, poor grades, or avoidance of school or social events

7. Lying to or withdrawing from friends and/or family • Low self-esteem • Feelings of loneliness or isolation • Depression • Suicide attempts • Drug and alcohol abuse • Risky sexual behavior • Medical problems • Inability to succeed in school or at work later in life

8. Examples of violence and abuse Verbal & Emotional Abuse • Name-calling, shouting, teasing, or bullying • Use of intimidation • Use of demeaning or derogatory language • Insults or rumors • Threats or accusations • Jealousy or possessiveness • Humiliation • Withdrawal of attention • Withholding of information • Deliberately doing something to make a dating partner feel diminished or embarrassed • Controlling behavior, such as dictating what a dating partner can wear • Isolation from friends and family • Texting or instant messaging excessively • Monitoring e-mail or a profile on a social networking site Sexual Violence • Unwanted touching, fondling, or groping • Forced sexual activities • Pressure to have sex • Violence that does not involve physical contact • Threatening to find someone who will do what he or she wants sexually • Verbal or sexual harassment • Threats of sexual violence Physical Violence • Pinching • Shoving • Hitting or slapping • Grabbing • Kicking • Throwing • Shaking • Choking

9. Warning signs Perpetrated • Suspicious bruises, scratches, or other injuries • Failing grades • Loss of interest in activities or hobbies that were once enjoyable • Alcohol or drug use • Excuses their dating partner's behavior • Fearfulness around their dating partner or when his or her name is mentioned • Avoidance of friends and social events Perpetrator • Threatens to hurt others in any way • Insults or ignores a dating partner in public or private • Constantly calls or texts to check up on a dating partner • Damages or destroys a dating partner's personal belongings • Attempts to control a dating partner's friends, their activities, or even the clothes they wear • Exhibits jealous and possessive behavior • Demands to know where their dating partner is all the time • Making a dating partner feel guilty or shameful with statements such as: "If you really loved me, you would..." • Blames the dating partner for his or her feelings and actions with statements such as: "You asked for it" or "You made me mad"

10. Tips for educators • Keep an open environment. Be available to listen to your students. Give them opportunities to start talking and do not to criticize them for having questions. • Give your student your undivided attention. Focus your attention on the conversation and your student. Do not let other things distract you or divide your concentration; if it is really a bad time to talk, schedule and keep another appointment where you can talk, but first make sure that waiting is okay with the teen. • Connect frequently. Follow up with your students on a regular basis; it lets your students know you are interested in their lives. Especially true if a student has already confided in you about something. • Understand the questions and respond genuinely. If you are not sure what the student is asking, say so. Once you understand the question, respond genuinely and assure him or her that you take his or her concerns seriously. As a trusted adult in the students' lives, the teacher can connect students with other resources they can access for help. • Practice what you preach—Respect, listening, etc.

11. Contact Information Family Counseling Services- The Journey Institute 305-740-8998 www.familycounseling.org Presenter: Christina Lalama, LMHC 305-740-8998 ext. 104 clalama@familycounseling.org preventviolence@familycounseling.org