Anchor Papers and the 6-Trait Rubric

1. Anchor Papers and the 6-Trait Rubric Lakewood High School District Writing Assessment

2. 6-Trait Rubric • This rubric is used to score your High School Proficiency Exam (HSPE) for writing, and that’s why the teachers at Lakewood High School have adopted it as how they grade your writing. • This rubric allows you to gauge your weaknesses then set goals for improving your writing once you know how the rubric works.

3. Ideas & Content • To score well on “Ideas & Content,” you need to focus on the main idea of your essay through the entire essay and provide a quantity of strong, supporting details in all your paragraphs.

4. Ideas & Content

5. Score Four • Keep in mind that these examples are all authentic student work. Please learn from their efforts and mistakes. • Take a look at each slide, refer to your rubric, and decide. Did it earn a 4, 3, 2, or 1? • Why do you think this? Find wording to support your idea on the rubric.

6. Ideas & Content = 2 I remember this one time. When my Aunt Sue asked me to help her spring clean. At first I did not want to do it. But she told me that if I did a good job that she would pay me. So I did and it turned out to not be so bab. Plus I got payed 40$ because I did souch a good job. She wants me to help her with he whole hose this spring. So lets just say I will always have money in my purse. And that is one of my experiences. with money. [complete essay]

7. Ideas & Content = 3 When I was fifteen years old I worked for a department store. I stacked the shelves and swept the floor. For my hard work I was paid forty-nine hundred dollars. I only worked three months but I worked hard. If I finished with my assigned work early I always asked the manager what I could do. [paragraph 1 of 4]

8. Ideas & Content = 1 An experience with money there was a time when I would earn money by haveing different jobs like cleaning rich homes, babysitting, painting homes, selling hot tamales, walking other peoples pet’s, buying Groceries for people and also by finding transportation for people so they could go one place to another. [complete essay]

9. Ideas & Content = 4 My very first time I ever had a job that made me money was in Kotzebue, Alaska. Katzebue is a very small town. I was on vacation with my dad for a little over three weeks, because he had a job in Kotzebue. As soon as I got up there, my dad told me to go out and get a job. I went into a grocery store named AC and I asked the boss for a job. Before I knew it, I got the job. That’s when I realized making money was great. This was the best experience in my life. I had finally got a job. [paragraph 1 of 5]

10. Organization • To score well on “Organization,” you need a strong introduction, well-planned body paragraphs, body paragraphs that have introductory and concluding sentences, and a strong conclusion. The essay should seem complete at the end of the conclusion (like there is nothing left to explain). The overall flow of the essay must look well-planned in advance.

11. Organization

12. Score Four • Keep in mind that these examples are all authentic student work. Please learn from their efforts and mistakes. • Take a look at each slide, refer to your rubric, and decide. Did it earn a 4, 3, 2, or 1? • Why do you think this? Find wording to support your idea on the rubric.

13. Organization = 1 You can buy a gift for some one un aspected. for some one they is special for you. You can buy all kinds of stufs went there is low prices. If a party is going on you can buy what ever to tak to the party. [complete essay]

14. Organization = 2 I left to Seattle with my soccer team. The we went to the hotel to get ready for the soccer game. Then I had left my wallet in the room with the $800 when I came back from the game I was missing $300. I had only $500 left. [paragraph 3 of 4]

15. Organization = 4 In conclusion, I was out-foxed by a bird brain, even if it was an smart bird brain. That experience taught me humility and watchfulness. To this day, I still watch the skies for any flying thieves. [paragraph 5 of 5]

16. Organization = 3 With the thirty-two hundred dollars I made from washing the walls I made the forty-nine hundred dollars. After that I had to quit because school was starting again. Anyways I put that money into the bank & now I have sixty-seven hundred dollars in the bank due to interest. [paragraph 3 of 4]

17. Word Choice • To score well on “Word Choice,” you must include strong words that may be vivid, specific, and colorful so your reader can imagine what you explain. You must avoid everyday, predictable words that do not support your purpose. Overall, your words must be appropriate for your audience and should impress that audience. Using a dictionary and/or a thesaurus is encouraged.

18. Word Choice

19. Score Four • Keep in mind that these examples are all authentic student work. Please learn from their efforts and mistakes. • Take a look at each slide, refer to your rubric, and decide. Did it earn a 4, 3, 2, or 1? • Why do you think this? Find wording to support your idea on the rubric.

20. Word Choice = 3 An experience I have had with money that I will remember for sometime would have to be how I have been saving money since I entered kidnergarden. The reason I will be telling you about this experience is because it is very important to me and will help me out years to come. I will be telling you how I got started saving, why I got started and also how I still am saving. [paragraph 1 of 5]

21. Word Choice = 2 I remember this one time. When my Aunt Sue asked me to help her spring clean. At first I did not want to do it. But she told me that if I did a good job that she would pay me. So I did and it turned out to not be so bab. Plus I got payed 40$ because I did souch a good job. She wants me to help her with he whole hose this spring. So lets just say I will always have money in my purse. And that is one of my experiences. with money. [complete essay]

22. Word Choice = 4 I did get a few things from this horrible event though. I got some new-found respect for nature, a bruised ego, and some humility. I never really appritiated how smart crows were until that day. I heard a story a couple months later about a crow that had stolen over a thousand dollars from a vending machine. I also started to stop bragging. Now only does it cause trouble, but it’s hazardous to my wallet’s health as well. [paragraph 4 of 5]

23. Word Choice = 1 My most memorable experience with money was when I first got my 98 chevysilverado, I got a Jump and everything Things were going good got my first check and it was gone within a Day… insurance, truck payment, gas, and Repairs It sucked loseing all my money But it made me feel good at the same time cause I payed for my own stuff, payed my own way for once. [complete essay]

24. Sentence Fluency • To score well on “Sentence Fluency,” you must write sentences of a variety of lengths (some short, many medium, and some long). These sentences should be connected with transition words that allow your words to flow. The best way to make certain you have sentence fluency is to read your draft aloud and fix any awkward phrases or choppy areas.

25. Sentence Fluency

26. Score Four • Keep in mind that these examples are all authentic student work. Please learn from their efforts and mistakes. • Take a look at each slide, refer to your rubric, and decide. Did it earn a 4, 3, 2, or 1? • Why do you think this? Find wording to support your idea on the rubric.

27. Sentence Fluency = 1 I have experience saving money because you can do what ever you want. If you saved money you can buy stuf went ever you want. You can use the money on a emergency. It will help you to pay bill. [complete essay]

28. Sentence Fluency = 2 Usually every christmas I get a budget of 80.00 to spend on my family. I had a hard time spending my money wisely as would any other fifteen year old. My problem with buying christmas presents was I would spend it all on one family member so they had a great gift insted of a cheesy gift from a teenager. [paragraph 1 of 3]

29. Sentence Fluency = 4 After setting up my business, I felt lighthearted and prepared to sell my product. I fixed a vibrant yellow cap upon my head and began yelling, “Lemonade! Get your lemonade!” Immediately, a man strolled up to me and said, “I’ll take one.” It continued on like this for approximately three hours at which time I had earned quite a bit of money. She said enthusiastically, “Wow! You did a stupendous job! More than half of the folks that walked by bought lemonade from you!” Feeling proud, I counted my money. I was overjoyed – I had earned enough to buy the action figure! [paragraph 3 of 4]

30. Sentence Fluency = 3 I have multiple experiences with currency and a lot of it was earned. I earned the money by working at McDonalds. I earn money by cutting grass at my house or in the neighborhood. I also gain money from yardwork in the neighborhood or outside my neighborhood. These are the abundant reasons on how I earn money. [complete essay]

31. Voice • To score well on “Voice,” the writer must sound like s/he cares about the topic and about communicating with the reader. Voice is often added in specific details, anecdotes, and descriptions because these elaboration strategies allow the reader to “sense the person behind the words.” The voice can be eager, serious, comical, or concerned as long as the voice is appropriate for the task and apparent to the reader.

32. Voice

33. Score Four • Keep in mind that these examples are all authentic student work. Please learn from their efforts and mistakes. • Take a look at each slide, refer to your rubric, and decide. Did it earn a 4, 3, 2, or 1? • Why do you think this? Find wording to support your idea on the rubric.

34. Voice = 2 .… Unfortunately as we got to my house his mom called and demanded him to come home. This wouldn’t have been such a problem, but I had barely any gas in my car! I had just enough to make it to his house and back. “Please take me home. I don’t want to get in trouble.” He whined to me so I took him home and came back and spent the rest of the weekend at my house all because I had no gas money. [2nd half of only paragraph]

35. Voice = 3 When my family and I first moved to Washington from Maryland, I found out that there was hardly any girls lacrosse compared to Maryland. Seeing that I have been playing sense I could walk, this was a significant issue. This is where my experience with money began, I researched and discovered a select team that plays year-round and travels to MO, NJ, and other east-coast areas, perfect! Except one problem; it was expensive, but, I had already made up my mind, I had to pay for this team! (a-team)! [paragraph 1 of 5]

36. Voice = 1 You can buy a gift for some one un aspected. for some one they is special for you. You can buy all kinds of stufs went there is low prices. If a party is going on you can buy what ever to tak to the party. [complete essay]

37. Voice = 4 Money. It makes the world go round and effects our daily lives. People get alot of funny stories from money; but I got one that tops them all. I was robbed, not by a thief, or even a human, but by a common crow! Let me tell you about that fateful day, and even how I was effected afterwards. [paragraph 1 of 5]

38. Conventions • To score well on “Conventions,” you must carefully edit your draft. If you don’t spell well, use a dictionary. Keep in mind that it is better to use larger words and misspell them than to use small, weak words. • If you aren’t sure of rules for punctuation, check Writers INC. With punctuation you must demonstrate that you know the standard rules for capitalizationand punctuation, and unfortunately students spend the least amount of time editing errors that they know how to correct.

39. Conventions

40. Score Four - Conventions • On the HSPE, our 10 = 2, our 5 = 1, and 0=0. You cannot earn anything but a 2, 1, or 0 on the HSPE, but in English class you can earn 0-10. • Keep in mind that these examples are all authentic student work. Please learn from their efforts and mistakes. • Take a look at each slide, refer to your rubric, and decide. Did it earn a 4, 3, 2, or 1? • Why do you think this? Find wording to support your idea on the rubric.

41. Conventions = 0 Dear Matt If I could be anebody I want to be I want to be Bill gates Because not only is he vary rich but he is vary smart papalar And I have always wanted to be rich, smart, and papular. [complete essay]

42. Conventions = 2 In drama 1 the student is introduced to the basics of acting and stage direction. The course starts with lessons in pantomiming and how to catch the attention of the audience. Stage direction is also included and students can learn the parts of the stage as well as how to read blocking (stage direction for the actor) on the script. Throughout the semester class, students will develop their own technique and personal style. [one paragraph of five]

43. Conventions = 1 I’d want to be Zorro. Because his tv show was cool. And his horse was awsome! He had some pretty neat gun fights and stuff too. He is my hero. Even the name Zorro is rad! Well, I wish I could sit here and write an essay but my attention span is some what like a three year olds so Im done. [complete essay]

44. What’s next? • Now that you are fully aware of what the 6-Traits are, what will you do to earn the best scores on your District Writing Assessment essay? • Advice: keep the rubric with you while you write and make choices that improve your writing while you pre-write, draft, revise, edit, and write a final draft.