American Relationships… Family, Marriage & Divorce, Homosexuality

1. American Relationships… Family, Marriage & Divorce, Homosexuality American Society & Culture

2. Getting Started… Today, we’re going to talk about American relationships: parent-child relationships, husband-wife relationships, divorce, and homosexual relationships. (We’ll talk more about dating and weddings another week.) Ezruby.com First, let’s find out how much you know about American relationships with a short quiz.

3. True or False??? Americans typically get married when they are about 22 years old. The number of families with two working parents is increasing. It is usually the job of the oldest brother or sister to care for parents in their old age. The average American household has 3 children. Over 50% of American marriages end in divorce. In most American families, the mother is the head, making decisions about daily activities and finances. About half of all American households are made up of married couples with children.

4. Reading to Discover… Take a look at pages 86 and 87 of your textbook. As you read, look for the answers to these questions: What is the average age for men and women to get married in America? Why do many American couples choose to live together before marriage? How many American children are born to couples who are not married? What are two patterns that can be seen regarding families with two parents and working? How do working parents adapt to make time for family even though they are busier than before?

5. American Family: Family Structure In the 1950’s the majority of the American households were the classic traditional American family: • The father, who was the ‘breadwinner’ • The mother, who was the ‘homemaker’ • 2 children under the age of 18 Rodsandwheels.com

6. American Family: Family Structure Today the reality is much different: the 25 percent of American people live alone, and the typical families are formed, among others, by: • Married couples, without children • Single parents and their children • Unrelated people living together • Homosexual couples • Intercultural unions: marriages between people from different races or cultures

7. American Family: Family Structure Wikipedia.com In this chart, we can observe the percentages of families in each of these categories in 1970 as opposed to 2000.

8. American Family: Family Structure • Young people are marrying (or not marrying) and having children later in life. • Some couples now choose not to have children at all. • People are living longer after their children are grown and they often end up alone. • There is an extremely high rate of divorce. Filipspagnoli.wordpress.com

9. American Family: Marriage If the couple is not happy, the individuals may choose to get a DIVORCE. A divorce is relatively easy to obtain in most parts of the United States. About one out of every two marriages now ends in divorce. (We’ll talk about divorce more later today, and dating relationships in another week, so let’s move on to looking at the role of the child.) Most parents have little (or none) control over who are their children going to marry with. Happiness is based on companionship. The majority of American women value companionship as the most important part of marriage. Other values, such as having economic support and the opportunity to have children, although important, are seen by many as less important.

10. Reading to Discover… Take a look at pages 88 and 89 of your textbook. As you read, look for the answers to these questions: According to your textbook, the American family can be described as a ___________. What are three values that the education and home life instill in children? In school, rather than a focus on memorization, what do schools emphasize?

11. American Family: The Emphasis on Individual Freedom Americans do not like to have controls placed on them by other family members. Less emphasis on the family as an economic unit. Family name and honour are less important than in aristocratic societies. INDIVIDUALISM The needs of each individual take priority in the life of the family. The primary responsibility of the American family member is not to advance the family as a group, either socially or economically. Americans view family as a group whose primary purpose is to advance the happiness of individual members.

12. American Family: Role of the Child The American emphasis on the individual affects children in a contradictory way: They get more attention and even more power than they should. They may not get enough attention from either parent. Hellobeautiful.com

13. American Family: Role of the Child Some American families tend to place more emphasis on the needs and desires of the child than on the child’s social and family responsibilities. After World War 2, much stress was placed on the social needs of the children. Many books on how to raise children became best-sellers. All of them shared the American emphasis on the development of the individual as their primary goal. Although Americans may not agree on how best to nurture and discipline their children, most still hold the basic belief that the major purpose of the family is the development of each of its members as individuals. Yosemite.epa.gov

14. American Family: Equality in the Family Along with the American emphasis on individual freedom, the belief in equality has had a strong effect on the family. Alexis de Tocqueville said that in many societies, inequality extends into the family, particularly to the father’s relationship to his children. Health.howstuffworks.com

15. American Family: Equality in the Family In the “old-fashioned” American family: • The father is accepted as ruler and master. • The children’s relations with him are very formal. • Love for him is always combined with fear. In the modern American family, we have a democratic idea: • Equality destroys much of the father’s status as ruler of the family. • Equality lessens the emotional distance between father and children. • There is less formal respect for and fear of father. • More affection expressed towards him.

16. American Family: Equality in the Family • Traditionally American children have been expected to ‘leave the nest’ at about age eighteen, after they graduate from school. • At that time they are expected to go to college (many go to other cities) or to get a job and support themselves. • Remember, key American values are self-reliance and independence. After college graduation, children are expected to find their own job and home. American college graduates do not return home to live with their mothers and fathers. In fact, most mothers and fathers look forward to this time when they can experience more independence again. Jcjc.edu

17. After the Children Leave… Gcfginsurance.com • After their children leave for college, many parents enjoy independence, time with friends, time with each other. • For many parents, this time after their children have left home is a valuable time to learn new hobbies and fall in love with each other again.

18. When Parents Get Old… • Children often live within a few hours of their parents so they can visit often and grandparents can know their grandchildren well. • When parents can no longer care for themselves easily, they often move to a special community for people over a certain age (55+) where they can enjoy great activities and care at the level of independence they desire. Stockland.com.au

19. American Family: FAMILY VALUES According to one specialist, Daniel Yankelovich, there are eleven points that a majority of Americans agree are family values. Yankelovich classifies six of them as ‘clearly traditional’, and the other five are ‘a blend of traditional and newer, more expressive values.’ Babygearworld.com

20. American Family: FAMILY VALUES TRADITIONAL • Respecting one’s parents • Being responsible for one’s actions • Having faith in God • Respecting authority • Remaining married to the same person for life • Leaving the world in better shape BLEND • Giving emotional support to other members of the family • Respecting people for themselves • Developing greater skill in communicating one’s feelings • Respecting one’s children • Living up to one’s potential as an individual

21. Frequently Asked Questions (F.A.Q.):Why do so many people in America get divorced? Womensdivorce.com

22. Frequently Asked Questions (F.A.Q.):Why do so many people in America get divorced?

23. Frequently Asked Questions (F.A.Q.):Can homosexuals get married in America? Thebentangle.wordpress.com

24. Finally, what questions do you have about American families, raising children, rules in the family, family values, marriage, divorce, homosexuality…? Ask anything… keep an open mind. Co.yamhill.or.us