Anxiety

1. Anxiety Dr. Orla Hayes Surrey Educational Psychology Service

2. Aims of the Session • Think about what anxiety means to us • Define anxiety • Recognise triggers that can cause anxiety • Recognise signs and symptoms of anxiety • Explain cycle of anxiety • Explain how anxiety can be treated • Know where to go and get help if needed

3. What does anxiety mean to you?

4. Clip, clap…….kettle boiling! Please hurry up and get into bed…Toss…..turn…..hot…… duvet off …. …..right side…..left side…….what time is it?.......oh it’s 2am………I can’t sleep………oh no I can’t sleep……..but I must sleep……I must sleep in the next 15 mins……why did a car just speed down my road?.......I should re-set my alarm…..toss…..turn…… cold……duvet back on……

5. What is Anxiety? • Type of fear or strong feeling about a situation • Thought of a threat or something which may go wrong in the future • Causes fright and uncertainty • Lasts a short time or can be prolonged • Can affect our ability to eat, sleep, concentrate, travel, leave the house, go to school and work • Can interfere with our enjoyment and take over our lives our life and control thoughts and behaviours

6. Anxiety Anxiety is normal. The basis of Survival because it prepares our bodies to cope with danger In moderate amounts it helps to improve our performance • Natural performance enhancing drug • Adrenaline

7. Why do we get Anxious? • Sense fear • Extreme reaction to everyday events • Loss of control • Stress to a life situation • Release of adrenaline in the body • Preparation for an emergency • “Fight or flight” primitive response • Increase blood flow to muscles • Dilated pupils, increased muscle activity etc.

8. Anxiety in Children

9. Triggers • After something bad has happened • Significant life events i.e. bereavement/illness/separation/bullying • Fears: Dogs, spiders, snakes, flying, wasps • Genetic predisposition – how we are made up • Temperamental disposition – how we behave • Uncertainty– A fear of having to do something new or out of our comfort zone.

10. Physical signs of anxiety • What physical signs of anxiety does Adrenaline cause?

11. Physical Signs of Anxiety • Fast / irregular heart beat • Increased breathing rate / shallow breathing • Dry mouth or throat • Weak/ tense /tingling/aching of muscles • Feeling lightheaded /headaches/dizziness • Stomach aches or bowel problems • Sweating – hot and cold • “Frozen” to the spot • Blurred vision

12. Protective Factors • Attachment/Affection • How we pay attention • Positive thinking style • Support networks (extended family, community and friendships) • Health factors (sleep, daily physical activity, healthy eating

13. How can we Help? • Encourage your child to talk about how their body feels when they experience different types of feelings • Share examples of your own body clues. • Notice your child’s physical complaints • If they complain of a tummy ache/headache etc, explain that it might be their body’s way of telling them something e.g. are they feeling worried or nervous about something?

14. Positivity • Praise your child for “brave” behaviours, such as trying new things, being kind to others, and facing scary situations. Give them specific feedback e.g. “I liked the way you….. • Try to share a “happy thing” that happened that day. It can be something big or small! This encourages focussing on the positive.

15. Sharing Feelings • Encourage your child to talk about things that upset them including any fears or worries. • Share some of your own childhood worries and fears. This will help your child to understand that feeling anxious and worried is normal and okay. We all feel this way sometimes – even adults! • Model sharing some of your feelings and talk about times when you felt certain ways. • Help build your child’s vocabulary of feelings words

16. Validate your child’s emotions, Let them know that you notice their feelings. For example; “I can see that you are grumpy because you are scrunching up your face and crossing your arms. I know you don’t like packing away your toys, but I need you to make a good choice now and put the toys in the box please”.

17. Inner Thoughts… The way we THINK influences the way we FEEL and BEHAVE Thoughts Feelings

18. Red THOUGHTS vs. Green (POWERFUL) THOUGHTS “I’m dumb” “I’m ok at lots of things” “I give up” “If I try I’ll get better.” “I hate my sister/ brother” “I find my brother/ sister annoying sometimes, but other times they are fun to play with” “I have no friends” “I have 2 people I play with and my dog is my friend”

19. Unhelpful Red Thoughts I can’t do it I am going to make a fool of myself Why do I even bother I give up I hate Maths! I’m hopeless This is stupid I don’t want to What’s the point? This is too hard What if I make a mistake I’m no good at this

20. Helpful Green Thoughts I can try my best I’m sure everyone finds this challenging I’m going to give this a shot I’ll get there in the end I can find a solution I will be ok This won’t be so bad This could be fun This is something different It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks I can cope with this

21. Thought Challengers It is sometimes difficult to change negative (red) to positive (green) thoughts. Orange thoughts or questions can help us! Examples: Is this really true? Am I exaggerating? Is this thought helping me? Am I making things out to be worse that they really are? What other explanations could there be?

22. Relaxation • Engaging in relaxation strategies helps to reduce anxious feelings and to remain in control. • It is important for children to have rest and quiet time especially after school. • Every child is different, so talk with your child and identify what is relaxing for them. You might refer to it as “quiet time” • Try to avoid activities such as watching television, using the computer, or playing video games.

23. Quiet Time • Reading a book • Jumping on the trampoline • Playing with their dog or cat • Going for a swim • Drawing • Listening to some music • Lying down

24. Some Ideas!

25. Self-Care • It is also important that you make time for yourself and your own relaxing activities. • Make a list of the things you can do to feel good and relax. • When you notice yourself feeling stressed or worried, engage in one of those activities. It could be something as simple as making a cup of tea, reading a magazine etc………. Whatever works for you! • Parents need special times too!

26. Breathing • You might notice that we you feel worried; your breathing quickens and becomes shallow. • By taking slow, deep breaths, we can relax our body, our heart beats slower, and we feel less tense or worried. • Try taking in a slow deep breath, starting from the bottom of your stomach, in through the nose. Breathe out as slowly as you can through the nose or mouth.

27. SELF-ESTEEM • A huge confidence boost for your child is to give them lots of praise for their attempts at difficult activities. • Reward your child when they try their best e.g. if they try something they have never tried before or if they do something that they usually find a bit scary. Tell your child that they should feel proud of themselves!

28. SELF-ESTEEM • Recognise partial successes (not just for reaching their final goal). This helps children to learn to persist and not give up when things get difficult (learning to focus on small, achievable steps). • Encourage your child to feel good about themselves when they have done their best, even if things do not go as planned. E.g. if a child does something new/faces a fear, they could say to themselves “I am a winner because I tried my best and I know what to do next time”.

29. Rewards • Come up with a list of rewards with your child. This might include things such as; • Playing a favourite game, • Extra story at bed times, • Going to a favourite park with the family, • Going for a picnic, • Inviting a friend over to play, • Having their favourite meal

30. Support Teams • Social support is vital for our emotional wellbeing and can buffer against stressful situations in life. • The ability to seek assistance from others is a skill that will help them cope throughout their life • Discuss all the different support people that are available with your child e.g. Family, friends, teachers etc. • Encourage your child to call upon a variety of members of their support team when they are faced with difficult situations.

31. Thank you for listening Questions?