Bullying: Lifelong Pain Prelude to Violence

1. Bullying: Lifelong Pain Prelude to Violence Safe & Drug Free Schools Lee County, Florida In partnership with Lee County Medical Society Alliance

2. Definition of Bullying: Bullying occurs when one or more individuals inflict physical, verbal, emotional, psychological and/or sexual abuse on another or others. Bullying occurs most frequently when teachers/adults are not present. Students continue to confirm that most bullying is hidden, secretive, and devious and that adults are not fully aware of the breadth and depth of the suffering and psychological damage that is occurring.

3. Is it really a problem? There have been more than 40 school shootings since 1974. In two-thirds of these, the shooters believed that they had been bullied, threatened, attacked and/or injured. There has been an alarming increase in youth suicide in the last decade. Students are experiencing depression more frequently than ever before. Currently, suicide is the third leading cause of death in 10-24 year olds. 74% of 8-11 year old students surveyed report that teasing and bullying occur in their schools. The rate increases to 86% among 15 -19 year olds. A recent study indicates that in the United States, over 6 million students are involved in bullying - as a bully, a target, or both.

4. Journal of American Medical Association Research Article on Bullying The study measured the prevalence of bullying behaviors among youth to determine an association of bullying and being bullied with indicators of social adjustment: problem behavior, school adjustment, social/emotional adjustment, and parenting. The sample included 15,686 students grades 6-10 throughout the US. The survey that measured their involvement in bullying- either as a bully or as a target. 77% of students reported being involved: as a bully, a target or both. It concluded that the prevalence of bullying among US youth is substantial, and that given the behavioral and emotional difficulties associated with bullying, as well as the long term negative outcomes for the youth involved, the issue of bullying merits serious attention - both for future research and PREVENTATIVE INTERVENTION.

5. Four Major Concerns • Targets • Bullies • Witnesses • Teachers

6. Targets Over 200,000 students stay home from school each day because of fear of what might happen to them at the bus stop, on the bus, the playground, restroom, cafeteria, hallways, locker room, classroom, or walking home from school. Anxiety increases for students being bullied. Anxiety decreasesconcentration which lowers students’ ability to retain and learn materials covered in the classroom. Today’s target can become tomorrow’s bully. Most of the students involved in classmate shootings had suffered rejection at the hands of their peers.

7. Bullies In a research study done by Dr. Leonard Eron in upstate New York: One out of four of the students identified as bullies by their classmates in the third grade had a criminal record by the age of 28 Male bullies were at greater risk to have become abusive husbands Female bullies were more likely to have become abusive mothers Conclusion: Bullying has an enduring effect and has apparent intergenerational transmission.

8. Acts of bullying break the law when they become extortion, theft, assault, battery, murder, weapons possession, arson, hate crime, hazing, sexual abuse/harassment, rape or a violation of civil rights. Increasingly parents are turning to the courts for a solution and are engaging lawyers to serve as legal advocates for their children when the schools are indifferent.

9. Witnesses • The “Silent Victim” • The six types of witnesses have developed a range of responses. 1. Helper: They have the courage to challenge the bully and/or support the target. 2. Angry: They may become angry at the target for failing to eliminate the situation 3. Inactive: They build a wall around their feelings to diminish the discomfort 4. Fearful: They conceal the situation for fear of reprisal 5. Voyeur: They encourage and support the bully to gain favor with the perpetrator 6. Accomplice: They become an accomplice

10. Teachers A National Education Association study found that: • 6,250 teachers are threatened with bodily harm every day. • Hundreds of teachers are physically assaulted every day. • 5,000 secondary teachers are actually harmed in an average month. • Teachers are also witnesses, often experiencing the same responses as students

11. Teasing VS. Bullying What is the difference between teasing and bullying? • Teasing occurs when there is a “give and take”. No one gets hurt • Bullying occurs when one person does all the giving and the other person does all the taking. Someone gets hurt.

12. Three Kinds of Bullies The Proactive Bully • Bullies for the pleasure of it • Has no apparent motive • Has antisocial traits • Does not form attachments • Can be cold and calculating • Reports high self-esteem

13. The Reactive Bully • Bullies in response to a perceived threat • Is hyper-vigilant to signs of provocation • Does not believe that he/she initiates bullying behavior • May be or have been a target • Reports low self esteem

14. The Elitist Bully Bullies because of perceived position Has been corrupted by the power he/she acquires because of attractiveness, wealth, athletic ability, or parents’ status

15. 5 Types of Bullying • Physical • Verbal • Emotional • Sexual • Cyber

16. Can words really hurt? Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words . . . . . . CAN BREAK YOUR HEART.

17. Sympathyvs.Empathy • Sympathy- feeling sorry for someone • Empathy- caring about and trying to understand how someone else feels ( “ Walk a mile in my shoes.”)

18. Strategies for schools • Develop a school-wide policy on bullying prevention and intervention. • Define unacceptable behaviors and the consequences for those behaviors and consistently impose them. • Use consistent terminology to hold students accountable for various forms of bullying. • Saturate the school atmosphere with anti-bullying messages and incentives. • Determine high-risk locations for bullying and actively monitor these areas. • Involve everyone to make it a whole-school team approach.

19. Strategies for Teachers • Create a sanctuary of safety in your classroom. • Insist that everyone in the class is to be treated with respect and dignity. • Emphasize a respect for differences of all kinds. • Model appropriate behavior. The ways in which you handle your own anger, stress, frustration and mistakes provide valuable lessons for students. • Teach about ethics and ethical behavior

20. Assure students of confidentiality when reporting bullying. THIS IS CRUCIAL! • Never dismiss a report. Be responsive to students’ communications. • Speak with targets and bullies separately. • Bring the bully and victim together only if the target consents, but do not leave the target exposed and vulnerable.

21. Interventions with Bullies • Confront bullies in private. Avoid giving them public status and power • Determine source of bullying behavior- i.e. low self esteem, past target, difficulties at home, anger, pleasure, etc. • Give an opportunity to make amends • Offer incentives for appropriate behavior

22. Interventions with Bullies Proactive Bulliesneed to experience the consequences of their choices. Set the boundaries, establish the limits and enforce the penalties. Reactive Bullies need to develop relationship skills. Refer for anger management, empathy training, mediation and social skills training. Elitist Bullies need to become more empathetic. Assign them service learning experiences, community volunteer opportunities and opportunities for creative leadership.

23. Interventions with Targets • Targets need to hear that no child deserves to be bullied and that you will do all you can to help them. • Teach and role play assertiveness. Give them language ideas, scripts and role-playing opportunities. • Discuss body language and facial expressions. • Help them recognize and break any annoying habits that irritate peers and attract bullies. • Support and emphasize the strengths of the target.

24. Teach students that bullies “shop around” for targets and look for students who will: Cry Comply Deny Fly off the handle Don’t Get Hooked By A Bully

25. Interventionswith Witnesses • Establish a respectful atmosphere in the classroom • Invite students to create a list of witness strategies • Remind students of responsibility to report bullying incidents to an adult. (Review tattling vs. reporting.) • Make a commitment to keep reports confidential • Role play strategies to support targets • Encourage them to support the target in whatever manner they are comfortable. • Discuss a sense of fairness, justice, and a moral code that reflects the ethics of students

26. Students are in need of S.O.S. from teachersSkills - Observation - Support • Skills for targets, bullies and witnesses have been discussed earlier. • Observation Monitoryour class and the hallways. Occasionally walk into student restrooms. Discernbullying behaviors. Become more attuned to the slights, derisive laughter and ostracizing that takes place. Supervise thoughtfully. Students are concerned when the teacher leaves the classroom physically or mentally. Leave specific instructions for substitute teachers.

27. Support Ten Ways to Offer Support 1. Establish clear rules and consequences regarding unacceptable behavior and enforce them consistently. 2. Deal with verbal abuse before it escalates. 3. Mobilize witnesses. 4. Take bullying reports seriously. 5. Realize the challenges of making changes. 6. Guarantee and maintain confidentiality. 7.Avoid embarrassing students. 8. Use classroom leaders. 9. Speak to bullies and targets separately. 10. Reinforce the classroom Code of Conduct

28. (Support continued) Collaborate with colleagues 1. Counselors 2. School Nurse 3. School Social Worker 4. Custodians 5. Media Specialist 6. Aides 7. Secretaries 8. Food Service Workers 9. Bus Drivers 10. And, of course, other teachers

29. (Support continued) Collect stories from students Encourage students to write about bullying transformations for anecdotal purposes and possibly future publication. Request that they write from the perspective of having been a bully, a target, and/or a witness.

30. Our Human Rights I have a right to be happy and to be treated with compassion: This means that no one will Laugh at me or hurt my feelings. I have a right to be myself : This means that no one will Treat me unfairly because of My skin color, Fat or thin, Tall or short, Boy or girl, Or by the way I look. I have a right to be safe : This means that no one will Hit me, Kick me, Push me, Pinch me, Or hurt me. I have a right to hear and be heard : This means that no one will Yell, Scream, Shout, Or make loud noises. I have a right to learn about myself : This means that I will be Free to express my feelings, And my opinions, Without being interrupted or punished. I have a right to learn according to my own ability: This means no one will call me names because of the way I learn.

31. Discussion:What does the word compassion mean? What does the word empathy mean? Why is it important not to laugh at others or hurt their feelings? Have you ever had your feelings hurt at school? Have you seen or heard of anyone else being treated unfairly? How can this “HUMAN RIGHTS” statement help us to respect each other’s feelings?Activity:Have students make their own “Human Rights” poster either as a group or individually. They can make their “Classroom Human Rights” poster, or their own “(name)’s Human Rights” poster. . Human Rights Classroom Activity

32. What is your plan? Websites: www.aboutourkids.org www.bullying.org www.bullystoppers.com/statistics_on_bullying.htm www.cfchildren.org/strparent.shtml www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov www.familyhealth.org www.ama-assn.org/Search using keyword “bully” www.dontlaugh.org

33. References Bullies & Victims- Helping Your Child Through The Schoolyard Battlefield, 1996, Fried Bullies, Targets and Witnesses- Helping Children Break the Pain Chain, 2003, Fried “Bullying Behaviors Among US Youth Prevalence and Association With Psychosocial Adjustment”, Nansel, T.R., Overpeck, M., Pilla, R.S., Ruan, W.J., Simons-Morton, B., Scheidt, P., JAMA 2001; 285:2094-2100 U.S. Department of Education, National Center, The Continuation of Education 2002, NCES 2002-025