Guidelines for Nonverbal Attending Skills

1. Guidelines for Nonverbal Attending Skills

2. Guidelines for Nonverbal Attending Skills • Immediately communicate to the other person without words, that you are attending to them and that you are glad to do it. • Be careful that your facial expression is positive. A smile is hard to beat. On some people perplexity, concern and concentration appear more like disbelief or hostility. • Use the SOLER position when attending (see box).

3. REMEMBER! • S it or stand squarely. • O pen posture. • L ean toward. • E ye contact maintained. • R elaxed body posture.

4. Guidelines for Nonverbal Attending Skills • Gestures animate discussions. Use whatever gestures you are comfortable with unless they are aggressive or patronizing and directed toward the student. • Use a friendly tone of voice. • Avoid nervous mannerisms, particularly drumming fingers and jiggling feet. These movements communicate impatience with the meeting.

5. Guidelines for Nonverbal Attending Skills • Notice how you’re being affected by the other person’s nonverbal messages. • Practice and observe. Experience is the best way for you to become adept at picking up the nonverbal cues in yourself and others. • Your body is always communicating: Make sure your nonverbal behavior is exerting a positive influence on the other person.

6. Guidelines for Listening Skills

7. Guidelines for Listening Skills RESPECT • Value others simply because they are human beings. • Be available and willing to help. • Suspend your critical judgment. • Express warmth.

8. Guidelines for Listening Skills MINIMAL ENCOURAGERS • Use small prompts to lead into further exploration or clarification of the student’s needs. • “Uh-huh” • “Mmm” • “Yes” • “I see” • “Ah” • “Oh” • Nonverbal nodding of head.

9. Guidelines for Listening Skills REQUEST FOR CLARIFICATION • Seek clarification whenever communication is unclear. • A simple request is sufficient: “I’m not sure I understand what you mean by…Could you clarify?”

10. Guidelines for Listening Skills QUESTIONS • Use open-ended questions to clarify and elaborate. • “What …?” • “How …?” • “Why …?” • “When …?” • “Who …?” • “Where …?” • Use closed-ended questions to find facts when the specific situation is known.

11. Power Point credit: Jill Hendricks UWG Patient Health Advocate

12. Guidelines for Listening Skills SUMMARY • Use summary to clarify. • A summary is particularly useful after a long or complicated response. • Summarizing helps to keep the student on track.

13. Guidelines for Listening Skills EMPATHY AND PARAPHRASE • See the issue from the student’s perspective and communicate this perception to the student. • Use empathy to establish a rapport with the student. • Be sure to use the proper tone and language.

14. REMEMBER! • Listen, don’t assume. • Understand the student exactly. • Communicate your understanding.

15. Guidelines for Confrontation Skills

16. Guidelines for Confrontation Skills • Always take responsibility for the confrontation. • Be simple and direct when confronting but proceed openly and smoothly. • Exhibit confident and assertive body language; direct but not threatening.

17. Guidelines for Confrontation Skills • Be concrete and specific in your confrontation. • Confront behavior, distortions, discrepancies, games, etc., in a positive and constructive manner. • Make no assumptions about who’s wrong, who’s distorting or who has superior values.

18. Guidelines for Confrontation Skills • Identify feelings as feelings rumors as rumors and facts as facts. • If tension, social distance or hostility impedes discussion, use immediacy to discuss what is happening in the present moment. • Insure that the tone and manner of your challenge does not aggravate the situation.

19. Guidelines for Confrontation Skills • If appropriate, focus on the person’s strengths, but don’t confuse the or dilute the confrontation by turning it into a personality buildup session.

20. Defensive Responses

21. Defensive Responses Rather than accept the challenge in a positive way, the other person might try to sidetrack or control the confrontation by attempting to: • Discredit you as a challenger, implying that you have many faults yourself or are not someone qualified to challenge them. • Devalue the issue at hand, implying that it might be true but it is no big deal.

22. Defensive Responses Rather than accept the challenge in a positive way, the other person might try to sidetrack or control the confrontation by attempting to: • Persuade you to change your views. This usually takes the form of rationalization. • Agree with you, but without sincerity. Ignore any of these attempts and continue to focus on resolving the issue at hand

23. REMEMBER! • Never argue. • Never patronize. • Communicate your respect at all times.