Bystander Scenario #1

1. Bystander Scenario #1 The Scenario: You notice a friend’s phone is blowing up with texts from their boyfriend/girlfriend. They look uncomfortable or upset by the texts. Their partner seems to be incessant about knowing where they are and who their with at all times. What can YOU do? You’ve got options! - Check in and ask, “Is everything ok with you guys?” -Text their partner and ask them to mellow out -Distract your friend from their phone and talk to a res life staffer at a later time -Talk to someone who knows their partner better than you and ask them to check in

2. Bystander Scenario #2 The Scenario: You’re out with your friends and you notice one of them has gotten really drunk. There’s a guy that’s pushing her to drink more and more. He eventually asks her if she wants to go home with him. What can YOU do? You’ve got options! - Tell your friend you need to use the bathroom and take her with you -Talk to his friends and see if they can get him to back off -Strike up a conversation with they guy giving your friend time to remove herself from the situation -Trip and spill a drink on your friend and take her home to change her shirt

3. Bystander Scenario #3 The Scenario: You’re at Two Brothers with a group of friends. There’s a guy you don’t know well hitting on your friend and buying her drinks. She’s pretty shy and usually doesn’t drink alcohol. She looks like she’s feeling uncomfortable. What can YOU do? You’ve got options! - Text your friend and ask her if she wants you to step in -Get two waters from the bar and bring one to her. Stick with her and make sure she’s okay. -Tell her you need to get some cash from the ATM and you want her to come with you -Make sure you all leave together.

4. Bystander Scenario #4 The Scenario: You’re walking back to your dorm and you see a couple that you don’t know very well arguing outside. It’s pretty heated and looks like it’s about to get physical. What can YOU do? You’ve got options! - Get a friend who knows the couple better to see if they’ll check in with them -Pretend you lost your ID card and get one of them to let you in -Walk up to the couple and ask if everything’s okay. Suggest they should try to cool things off. -Call Pub Safe and ask for help

5. Bystander Scenario #5 The Scenario: You notice your classmate’s ex is always waiting for him after class outside the door. He doesn’t seem excited to see her and often tries to avoid her by staying late and talking with the professor. What can YOU do? You’ve got options! - Ask your classmate if you can walk him to his next class -Tell the professor and see if they’ll check in and see what’s up -Walk by the ex and tell her what she’s doing isn’t cool -Ask your classmate if he’s alright -Distract the ex by striking up a conversation with her letting our classmate walk past

6. Bystander Scenario #6 The Scenario: You hear from a classmate that a friend of yours is inviting a bunch of first year women to a party at his Atwater suite and offering to provide booze for free. What can YOU do? You’ve got options! - Tell your friend he’s being creepy and to cancel it -Talk to some of your first year friends and give them a heads up about your concerns. Tell them to spread the word. -Host a different party the same night -Show up with a bunch of friends you trust to keep your eyes on things -Talk to an FYC and tell them to warn their students.

7. Bystander Scenario #7 The Scenario: One of your good friends has stopped hanging out with your group of friends. He used to be really social, but not has a new boyfriend who seems to take up all of his time. He’s also stopped showing up to GlobeMed meetings and missed class last week. What can YOU do? You’ve got options! - Tell him you’re concerned and ask how things are going. -Talk to a mutual friend and see if they’ve noticed as well. Ask if they’d be comfortable checking in. -Talk to your Dean or another staff member you trust and ask for their advice -Give your friend a list of campus resources and remind him there’s always someone there to listen

8. Bystander Scenario #8 The Scenario: You’re standing in line at The Grille and you overhear a couple behind you. They’re arguing and the guy’s accusing his girlfriend of some ugly things and calling her some pretty offensive names. What can YOU do? You’ve got options! - Turn around and tell the guy he’s making a fool of himself -Ask the girl if she’s okay. Ask if she wants to cut you in line to get away from him. -Wait until one of them goes to the bathroom and check in with her once she’s alone -Pretend you left your money at home and ask if one of them could spot you -Get Public Safety

9. Bystander Scenario #9 The Scenario: On facebook you see a a post spreading rumors about the exploits of the friend. You’re not very close with the person who posted it, but the content is mean and embarrassing. What can YOU do? You’ve got options! - Immediately notify your friend and ask if they’re okay -Report the post. Send a message to whomever posted it telling them it take it down. -Put a link about cyber-harassment in the comment section -Notify whoever made the post that it’s cyber-harassment and contact your Dean or another staff member you trust.

10. Bystander Scenario #10 The Scenario: Your roommate has been totally obsessed with this girl he has class with. He’s always liking her pictures on facebook and knows when and where she gets meals and schedules accordingly. He’s asked her about twice and she’s already told him she has a boyfriend. What can YOU do? You’ve got options! - You have mutual friends with the girl. Ask them to check in and see if she’s okay. -Tell your roommate what he’s doing isn’t cool and could be considered stalking or harassment -Reach out to a staff member that handles stalking and harassment and ask for help

11. Green Dot Definitions What is Power-Based Personal Violence? Also know as Interpersonal Violence, it’s a form of violence where the primary motivation is the assertion of power, control, or intimidation to harm another. This includes partner violence, sexual assault, stalking, harassment, and other uses of force, threat, or intimidation of an individual. These instances of violence can often involve the use of drugs or alcohol. They can be committed by strangers, friends, acquaintances, or even intimate partners.

12. Green Dot Definitions Red Dot A moment in time where someone’s words, choices, or actions contribute to power-based personal violence in some way. This can range from a derogatory comment sent over text to assault. Green Dot A moment in time where someone’s words, choices, or actions reduce the likelihood that someone will be harmed by violence or proactively communicate an intolerance for violence.

13. Green Dot Definitions Bystander An individual who notices a behavior or situation that could lead to power-based personal violence. Green Dot Bystander An individual who notices a behavior or situation that could lead to power-based personal violence and chooses to do something to decrease the likelihood that that violence will occur.

14. Bystander Intervention Strategies (The 3 Ds) Direct Directly placing yourself into a situation where violence may occur and stopping it by addressing those who are involved. Delegate If you feel unsafe or uncomfortable stepping in yourself or that there’s someone else who might be able to handle the situation better than you could, notifying that person and asking them to step in for you. Distract Diffusing a potential moment of violence by distracting those involved and pulling their attention away from whatever conflict they’re involved in. This could include simply asking them an unrelated question to spilling your drink.

15. Green Dot Middlebury Thousands in the US and around the world are victims of sexual assault, partner violence, and stalking every year. Each incident hurts us all. These acts of violence are like red dots covering a map, much like an epidemic spreading out of control if not stopped. But, we CAN stop violence of YOU are a part of the solution. Through your words, your choices, and your actions in any given moment, you can add a “green dot” to our map – displacing a red dot – and making a difference. A “Green Dot” symbolizes a single moment in time where someone makes the choice to end the perpetration or support victims of violence. A green dot is intervening in a high risk situation, talking to your friends about violence, removing discriminatory language from your vocabulary – a green dot is simply your individual choice at any given moment to make our community safe.

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