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COUNSELLING GUIDELINES FOR PARENTS

COUNSELLING GUIDELINES FOR PARENTS. “ a stage in life when the slightest turn towards the wrong will spoil character” Baba. WORLD HEALTH ORGANISATION Adolescence . The age span of 10-19 years in the life of a human being…… Youth The age span of 15-24

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COUNSELLING GUIDELINES FOR PARENTS

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  1. COUNSELLINGGUIDELINESFOR PARENTS

  2. “a stage in life when the slightest turn towards the wrong will spoil character” Baba WORLD HEALTH ORGANISATION Adolescence. The age span of 10-19 years in the life of a human being…… Youth The age span of 15-24 in the life of a human being…..

  3. Identity Crisis Adult?? Child? ? Who am I???

  4. Peer Group Influence

  5. Economic independence Unstableemotions Resentment of Authority

  6. Present Day challenges for parents • Influence of Media, TV, Movies etc • Money Power • Fast foods • Elevation in women’s status

  7. Recognising problem signs…… Disturbing/non co operative behaviour • Arguing with siblings • Teasing,etc • Lack of concentration/Distraction • Disobedience • Closed Communication • Fear/Anxiety of….. • exams • teacher • one of the parents • a bully in the class

  8. DEFINITIONS “Counselling is a process that leads to healing, growth and change.’’ (Dr .B.J.Prashantham) EMPATHY ENCOURAGEMENT EMPOWERMENT ENRICHMENT EDUCARE The 5Es

  9. “Life is listening, learning, lifting and living” Baba

  10. BASIC LISTENING AND RESPONDING

  11. LISTENING • SUPERFICIAL • PART/SELECTIVE • ATTENTIVE story

  12. CommunicationResearch(Dr Albert Mahrabian) Words-Verbal 7% Body language-55% Voice-Paralinguistic 38% Mehrabian -communication theory

  13. THE DIVINE LISTENER

  14. Listen to your child with full attention. • Lack of communication leads to misunderstanding. • Answer your child’s questions, do not avoid them • This builds trust and faith Chinnakatha dolls

  15. RESPONDING SKILLS

  16. GUIDELINES FOR PARENTS

  17. COMMUNICATION BLOCKERS • Admonishing What’s wrong with you? Why have you done this? • Moralising/LABELLING You are such a bad student.careless fellow! You should be ashamed of yourself! • Humiliating I am disappointed in you. I did not expect this of YOU. • Sympathising\Sarcastic Oh! , that’s really bad! Poor thing! You can only be a street vendor if you don’t study

  18. GUIDELINES • DON’TS 1.Dont advice, preach, moralise, compare 2. Avoid ‘have to’, ‘should/should not’, ‘must /must not’ etc Avoid ‘why’ question as far as possible

  19. DO’S • Use Reflective responses • A. Reflection of content • B. Reflection of feelings SUMMARISE! • It shows understanding and Empathy

  20. STYLES OF PARENTING Uninvolved No LOVE or LAW Autoritarian/Autocratic ONLY LAW Permissive Too much anuraga attachment LOVE Authoritative LAW+LOVE

  21. P E R S O N A L I T y D O M A I N S

  22. Physical Development

  23. “Do all household work as acts of worship for Him: that is more fruitful than hours of meditation,hours gained by entrusting this precious work to paid helpers.”

  24. Intellectual Development (education/experience) Recent structural MRI studies have demonstrated that the brain undergoes considerable development during adolescence. “Education is for life, not for a living” Baba

  25. EmotionalDevelopment Aware of feelings/emotions Coping with emotions Understanding others emotions Self concept “Love is the undercurrent of human life;Man will be able to manifest his innate divinity only when he develops love within” Baba

  26. Spiritual Development Character! “Sow a seed of good thought Reap aharvest of good action Sow a seed of good action Reap a harvest of good habit Sow a seed of good habit Reap a harvest of good character Sow a seed of good character Reap a harvest of good destiny” Baba

  27. Transformation Tools The 5 techniques • Silent sitting / Guided visualisation • Prayer/Chanting • Group Singing • Story-telling /Play acting • Group Sevaactivities The Spiritual Tool Box used IN BAL VIKAS

  28. 5 Relationships that make the Home Love 1 Spouse Bond Relationship Husband & Wife 2Power Structure Empowerment of Family Members 3 Family Time Activities & Customs 4 Communication Mode of communication within the family 5 Awareness & Connectivity Spiritual Belief, Network of Friends & Relatives Dharma Peace Truth Non-Violence

  29. 1.SPOUSE BOND “UNDERSTANDING FIRST, ADJUSTMENT NEXT” Baba Love

  30. 2. EMPOWERMENT OF SPOUSE. “HOME IS THE DWELLING PLACE OF RIGHT CONDUCT . A HOME IS A HOME IF BOTH HUSBAND AND WIFE ARE HONOURED AND RESPECTED WITHIN IT.SUCH A HOME IS THE HAVEN OF PROSPERITY AND PEACE.”Baba

  31. 3.FAMILY TIME “PARENTS CAN IMPART ELEMENTS OF THEIR CULTURE AND VALUES WHEN THEY SHARE PRIME FAMILY TIME WITH CHILDREN.” Baba BAD TIMES ARE TESTING TIMES (coping skills) PEACE COOPERATION, APPRECIATION RECREATION SHARING

  32. 4.COMMUNICATION “50% OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IS LISTENING. IF YOU GIVE AN EAR TO OTHERS ,THEN OTHERS WILL GIVE AN EAR TO YOU.” RESPECT, EMPATHY, HONESTY AWARENESS OF OTHERS’ FEELINGS

  33. Words! • “Words can confer strength:they can drain it off.” • “Power of the atom bomb” Baba

  34. 5.AWARENESS & CONNECTIVITY Cultural activities, functions, festivals etc sense of oneness, and belonging, connectivity- SELF AWARENESS, SPIRITUAL ACTIVITIES, PRAYER AND DEVOTION

  35. “Have Constructive thoughts, Consoling words, and Compassionate acts” Baba

  36. HOUSE RULES (Routine and Boundaries) Prayer Bedtime Quiet/homework Household Chores Family activities Allowance Consequence Rules “Discipline is needed in every aspect to maintain the right course of life.” Baba No rules land

  37. REMEMBER! • Don’t label your child.. • Correct only the wrong behaviour Labels: You are stupid You are foolish You are so slow

  38. GUIDELINES • Acceptance and warmth • Loving friendly approach • Realistic expectations • Remembering the • divine connectivity

  39. GUIDELINES • Focus on ‘here and now’ • Immediate acknowledgement of wrong or right • Allow them to be part of family conversations, decision making…

  40. Self-Concept Self esteem The Empty self esteem pot

  41. Overflowing

  42. SELF EMPOWERMENT! Self Satisfaction SELF-CONFIDENCE Self Sacrifice Self Realisation

  43. Exemplar/Role Model The primary responsibility of a parent is to mould the character of the child.” Baba “BE, DO ,AND THEN TELL”

  44. EXEMPLAR PAR EXCELLENCE

  45. THE DIVINE COUNSELLOR

  46. Baba says “Parents must feel that they are servants appointed by the Lord to tend the little souls that are born in their households, as the gardener tends the trees in the garden of the Master.”

  47. Jai Sai Ram

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