Understanding Attachment and Relational Intervention in Schools

2. Introductions Name and role in school How much do you already know about an attachment framework? 1 2 3 4 5 Nil Loads

3. Overview of session 3.00 – 3.10pm Coffee and Introductions 3.10 – 4.15pm Understanding Attachment and the role of relational intervention 4.15 – 4.45pm Planning support and intervention 4.45 – 5.00pm Feedback plans

4. Aims of the session: • To introduce the psychology of attachment and the importance of relationships • To appreciate how the issues impact upon youngsters in their teens • Consider examples of difficult to reach youngsters and ways forward • Apply new learning in thinking, particularly around the role of a Key Adult, about vulnerable youngsters currently at your school • To empower colleagues to appreciate, recognise, acknowledge and manage the issue whilst maintaining their own well-being ** Health warning and respect for others

5. Attachment Attachment is the attunement that develops between a child and their primary carer. It is triggered by the child’s attachment behaviours and is crucial to a child’s emotional, intellectual and social development.

6. Co-regulation • As the infant becomes stressed the cortisol levels in the brain rise • This triggers the cortisol levels in the adult’s brain to rise • As the adult soothes the child the adult’s cortisol levels lower • This leads to the lowering of the child’s cortisol level • Initially the adult and child co-regulate but over time, with support from the adult, the child learns to self-regulate.

7. Developing the Prefrontal Cortex • Babies are born with billions of unconnected brain cells. • In the first 3 years an extraordinary number of links are created between the cells arising from interactions between the baby and its environment. • This prefrontal cortex development means that we can: • self regulate, control our impulses • override our limbic system (our fight or flight system) which is driven by emotions, fear and excitement • plan • understand consequences • have empathy and develop social skills • understand who we are and recognise our strengths and weaknesses

9. Why is it important? The attachment figure acts as a safe haven towards whom the child returns when their attachment system is activated and is a secure base from which the child explores because they feel safe. Healthy attachment occurs when the infant experiences consistency in her needs being met by a primary caregiver.

10. Security of attachment gives us: • A capacity to tolerate frustration and uncertainty • A sense of self as being worthy of affection and respect and the ability to trust others • A capacity to relate to others with sensitivity and respect i.e. Understanding own feeling and the feelings of others • Understanding consequences of behaviour It creates RESILIENCE, which is defined as the ability to recover from adverse events.

11. Potential risk factors: • Being adopted; • Being placed in public care • Being born prematurely • Having parents who suffer from depression • Being rejected by parents • Experience abuse at an early age • Experiencing frequent moves • Parental separation which leads to restricted contact with one parent • Experience of neglect These experiences do NOT always lead to attachment difficulties. However, these experiences can increase vulnerability and reduce resilience.

12. “Secure applies to the world as reflected in feeling, and not to the world as it is.” (Bowlby, 1973)

13. Activity • In groups consider a young person who you are concerned about. In the bubbles write what you know about this pupil (what they enjoy, their interests, strengths, dreams and aspirations etc…what else might you want to find out about them?) • On separate post it notes write the behaviours that are causing you concern

14. How might a child with attachment issues present within school? • Pushing boundaries • Inconsistent learning • Behavioural outbursts with no obvious trigger (rapid escalation) • Non-compliance • Lying / fantasy lying • Provocative to peers • Lack of confidence • Stealing / hoarding • Destroying things • Controlling behaviour – which may create conflict with peers and adults

15. How might a youngster with attachment issues present within school? • Insensitive to the feeling of others • May bully those perceived as vulnerable • Apparent heightened state of anxiety • Hyper-vigilant and easily distracted • Absence of trust in authority • Extremely sensitive to criticism and implied humiliation • Limited capacity to reflect • Appears to enjoy very little Geddes (2006).

16. Seeing ‘behaviour’ as communication • Re-frame the behaviour and ask yourself what NEED it may be showing you • An example, a mobile phone is removed from a pupil and the pupil responds by acting aggressively towards the adult to retrieve it • * inability to trust an adult (not knowing that they will ever see their possession again, phone as providing security – way to contact others, anxiety, fear at loss, rage, inability to put in to words how they feel)

17. Understanding a youngster and their behaviours • LAC awareness and Kyle’s story

18. Activity • In your groups, consider each post it note behaviour and re-frame what the behaviour may be communicating

19. Hopeless or hopeful? “Through relationships, we can help these children learn adaptive, healthy responses, supporting them to think differently and to take control over their physical state, feelings and behaviours” (Bomber, 1997) Developing relationships with a key adult – coregulation, trust authority = respect authority Resilence – at least one meaningful relationship with an adult

20. Time to consider and reflect • Think of an adult, or peer, in your life who has made a positive difference for you. • What did they do? What qualities did they have?

21. The Fray: How to save a life • Watch and reflect on the pupils that you support: • - what is your initial reaction to the clip? • - are their any issues that you recognise in are difficult for the pupils you support?

22. Key Adult Stay close Staying close – actively present (physically and emotionally), noticing cues. Relative dependency ( learn to rely on a trusted adult) leads to healthy interdependence. Set aside protected time

23. Key Adult Stay calm and bring calm

24. Key Adult PACE Playful Acceptance Curious Empathy

25. Ways to reduce inappropriate behaviour - role of the adults • Consider the emotional state of the youngster/group at the beginning of the lesson • Consider position in class – think about the meercat analogy where can the young person ‘scan’ the environment and so help them feel safe • Consider including a soothing/reassuring activity into routines – planning calm • Include games which allow youngsters to develop play skills • Use stories/narrative, drama and art

26. Ways to reduce inappropriate behaviour - role of the adults • Be specific about social and emotional skills, recognise them and acknowledge them e.g. “Thanks for waiting your turn patiently, I know that can be tricky. • Create a positive expectation of students e.g. “Mrs X was telling me how well you did in her lesson.“ • Motivate according to their attachment style as appropriate e.g. “I know that you can do this” or “You know you can do this.” • Wonder aloud and provide commentaries for what might be happening internally e.g. “I wonder if anyone else is feeling a bit fed up as this is getting more complicated.” • Left - brain tasks for calming down are as important a part of your differentiation as providing extension activities for early finishers.

27. Responding to difficult behaviour • Why behaviourist approaches don’t work (reward and sanction) – need for self regulation • Organise ‘time in’ rather than ‘time out’ • Empathy is key • Develop scripts to support youngster to make sense of feelings ‘I can see you’re really angry, that must have meant a lot…’with the message ‘I care and am here for you.’

28. Preparing for transition to secondary • If possible plan for the move • Give children time to talk about their feelings about the move • Give them information about the people, premises and environment of the new school • The young person should have opportunities to get to know the new physical environment and become familiar with key staff • A familiar adult should help the youngster engage in the new setting during these transition visits • “Help me get to know my new surroundings” For youngsters with attachment issues, they will do better with more information than less. e.g. collect maps, take photos, undertake orientation activities, buddy up with a peer from the school, do routines e.g. eat lunch in the canteen

29. Making appropriate provision… • MEET AND GREET“I need opportunities for continuity and certainty…” It allows the key adult to make a judgment as to how the youngster is that day. Battles with adoptive parents during breakfast, contact visits, forgetting they were on week A not week B can all ensure that learning is the last thing on the youngster’s mind! Helping them with meeting the day head on should be seen as an investment for a productive day. • KEY MESSAGES “I need you to remember that I don’t make sense of the world the same way as you do…” Messages about being safe, having constancy of support, and being there for the Youngster need to be made regularly and be explicit…. If we don’t help youngsters with repetition of crucial key messages then they will return to old, ‘internal’ scripts that interpret the world as unsafe, insecure, unstable. Sunderland (2006) suggests that repeated messages actually help to form new neural pathways to allow youngsters to find new meaning in the new world.

30. Making appropriate provision… • CHECK-INS“I will need reassurance that you’re still there, keeping me in mind…” The youngster should have flexibility to ‘check in’ with their key person as they need to practise relative dependency. The key person becomes the safe haven to help negotiate difficulties and solve problems etc… Think about a ‘safe face in a safe place’. • OTHER SPECIAL NEEDS PROVISION“Don’t overwhelm me with too much…” Simple principle to guide this is the need for ‘the fewer adults and the fewer changes of space, the better’.

31. Making appropriate provision… • ORGANISATIONAL SUPPORT“I need you to model to me how to get organised…” Organisation is commonly a difficulty and modelling in an explicit way can help a young person. Shadowing activities allows the youngster to see how you attempt tasks/challenges. • REGULAR TIMETABLED SUPPORT“I need help to catch up…” The young person will benefit from having a regular slot to check in with their key adult for support with work issues, developing social skills, organisational support and work on developing their identity. • HOME/SCHOOL PARTNERSHIP “Keep together. Keep talking” This is a priority. Subject teachers should be informed of who will be the ‘gatekeeper’ for sharing information with parent/carers, although ideally this should be the key adult.

32. Getting ALL staff on board • DEVELOPMENTAL VULNERABILITY “Don’t be fooled by my age…” Think about the skills the youngster might have missed learning due to their past. Therefore, it is helpful to think of their emotional age rather than their chronological age. If they are having a tantrum like a 5 your old then think about how you would help a 5 year old in that situation and use this to guide your response. We need to differentiate our emotional and social expectations. This strategy must be shared with all those who have contact with the youngster. • CONTINUING PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT“Keep up to date so you can help me…’ Help staff to access information on attachment difficulties through reading, training and access to outside agencies. If staff understand then they are more likely to become more empathetic with the youngster and more willing and able to meet their needs. • KEY ADULTS“Look after one another so you can look after me…”

33. Sudden moves • Sudden moves due to exclusion or a change in care should be managed with the same consideration and planning as a move into the setting • Exit procedures need to be thought through if the youngster is to learn from the process, rather than simply experiencing yet another traumatic rupture • The exiting school should still assume responsibility for helping to manage the next transition e.g. providing appropriate summary of the youngster’s relational trauma or loss (with appropriate caveats relating to confidentiality), sharing information about strategies that help and triggers • A phased integration into the new setting may be appropriate after a sudden move • All agencies involved with youngster should be alerted to the change in circumstance so they can support as appropriate

34. Activity • In your role as a Key Adult and your relationship with the pupil you work with, how might you now support or intervene. • Consider how you will support your pupil proactively and how you may now respond to crisis (refer to handout)

35. In summary: An attachment friendly school ensures….. • ‘Emotional containment’ - Establish a relationship with a significant person other than staff in a hierarchical position • ‘Physical containment’ - Create a ‘space’ for the child for times of potential stress –can help • That all adults who come into contact know about the implications of the attachment style for that young person – consider midday supervisors, cover teachers, external supply staff • Clear, consistent communication from all staff involved with the child and regular reviews to celebrate successes and to collectively try solutions for problems • That support systems are established for the key adults to promote their own resilience

36. “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” ― Maya Angelou

37. You never really know a person until you stand in their shoes and walk round a little…. Harper Lee To Kill a Mockingbird

38. Useful resources: Geddes, H. (2006) Attachment in the classroom: the links between children’s early experience, emotional well-being and performance in school. Bomber, L. M (2007) Inside I’m Hurting. Practical strategies for supporting children with attachment difficulties in school. Perry, A (2009) (ed) Teenagers and attachment: helping adolescents engage with life and learning. All available from Worth Publishing Ltd: London.

39. Evaluation • What worked well? • It would have been even better if…..? Thanks Contact: nicki.hammill@nottscc.gov.uk