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Couples Building Rock Solid Marriages

Couples Building Rock Solid Marriages. “Muscles and Connectors ” The Body Part Series October 17, 2010. Today Muscles and Connectors. 3 major topics Strength Mobility Connection Across 3 experience domains Physically Spiritually Marriage. Today.

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Couples Building Rock Solid Marriages

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  1. Couples Building Rock Solid Marriages “Muscles and Connectors ” The Body Part Series October 17, 2010

  2. TodayMuscles and Connectors 3 major topics • Strength • Mobility • Connection Across 3 experience domains • Physically • Spiritually • Marriage

  3. Today Physically Spiritually Marriage Strength Mobility Connection

  4. At your tables • Pick a spokesperson whose birthday is nearest October 17th. • Be ready to intro new couples • Tables #1-What are some examples of poor physical conditioning? • Tables #2-What are some examples of poor spiritual conditioning? • Tables #3-What are some examples of poor marriage conditioning?

  5. 1-Examples of poor physical conditioning • Weight—low and high • Low endurance • Limited strength • Tired, low energy, low metabolism • Decreased flexibility • Low motivation— “couch potato”--(bodies at rest and in motion law) • Harmful addictive habits • Poor eating/time management habits • Poor immune system • Emotional –lack of confidence/low self esteem and poor self control/stress/no time/no priority/no plan • And, our bodies resist improving all of these!!!

  6. 2-Examples of poor spiritualconditioning? • Encumbrances, barriers, weights= Poor endurance, powerless, un-confessed sin—Heb 12:1-2; 1 John 1:9; • Low strength; emotionally/intellectually frozen; immobile= Isaiah 40:31; Psalm 27:13-14; Psalm 37:3-8; 2 Cor 12:7-10; Romans 5:1-6 • Unchecked intake, fear and anxiety, temptation Rom 12:1-2; James 1:19-27; Psalm 119:105,133; Ephesians 6:11-12 • Low motivation to study, serve, give, worship- alienation from spiritual things • Doing it on our own power and our own glory-worn out • Our bodies war with our spirit--Romans 7:15

  7. 3- What are some indicators of poor marriage conditioning? • Escalation ---lack of control, touchy, defensive, quick temper, spiral out of control---making things bigger than they really are. Prov 20:3; 29:11 • Invalidation---pattern of put-downs, from indifference to contempt, lack of total acceptance, critical, judgmental • Negative Interpretations---seeing the motives of the other more negatively than reality and jumping to defensiveness then conflict • Withdrawal and avoidance---not bringing IT up, not saying in the IT, turn off, leave

  8. Turn your table number over1-Strength, 2-Mobility, 3-Connection Question 1: Where do you get your physical ______? 1-strength, 2-mobility, 3-connection Question 2: Where do you get your spiritual ______? 1-strength, 2-mobility, 3-connection ….and, what are some Scriptures? Question 3: Where do you get your marriage _____? 1-strength, 2-mobility, 3-connection

  9. Question 1: Where do you get your physical ______? 1-strength, 2-mobility, 3-connection

  10. Question 2: Where do you get your spiritual ______? 1-strength, 2-mobility, 3-connection ….and, what are some Scriptures? Acts 17:24-34

  11. Exercises for Spiritual Fitness 1. Renew your strength through Him, acknowledging God, waiting on Him and worshipping Him/Isaiah 40:31;Psalm 46:10; Let His grace and mercy live through you. 2. Deepen your peace of mind through prayer to Him and meditation on Him (If you can worry, you can meditate) Phil 4:6-7; Matt 7:7-11 3. Strengthen your commitment through fellowship. Heb 10:24-25; Gal 6:1-5; 1 John 1:7 4. Expand your knowledge and maturity through Bible study --Psm 119:105; John8:31-32 5. Increase your joy through appropriating the Fruit of the Spirit and witnessing. Gal 5; 1 Peter 3:15; Psalm 51 6. Strengthen your love through giving and service to someone other than self. Col 3:23; Rom 12; Gal 5:13 7. Increase your flexibility and stretching (Faith) by taking Godly risks—Mark 9:14-29;Matt 9:29; Heb 11:1,3,6 8. Improve your resistanceby putting on the armor Eph 6:10-17

  12. Question 3: Where do you get your marriage _____? 1-strength, 2-mobility, 3-connection

  13. Consider this when improving your marriage strength, mobility and connection • Common purpose and aim • Conflict without dishonor and/or avoidance • A few, important joint agreements • Know each other through and through • Total acceptance, ‘all in’ attitude • Stress oneness, with respect and privacy, together and with others • Recreate; passion; friendship; dignity; uplifting atmosphere • Air of forgiveness and resolution • Dedication to renewal and restoration • Grace and mercy attitude • Best interest of the other at heart • Intimacy -intellectual, emotional, recreational, spiritual, physical • Spiritual maturity

  14. In order to grow we need:physical=spiritual=marriage • To eat = The Bible = look for the best and bring it out • Truth, Light, living water = Christ = honor, respect, openness • Good hygiene = Confession = no hidden agendas • A caring Family = God the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, and, earthy relationships/community = home is a place of peace, respite and forgiveness • Regular exercise = Service = practice love, touch, kindness, open-up • Protection = Full armor of God = security and provision • To give = stewardship of time, talent, treasure = oneness in all things • To breathe, communicate, praise, petition= Prayer = marinate

  15. So What? Assessment 5=excellent; 1= poorly Physically Spiritually Marriage Strength Mobility Connection

  16. OK, I know I need physical, spiritual and marriage conditioning, but you just don’t understand…. • I have a messy past, • I have an unmotivated, unfulfilled, uninspired, oversubscribed, no margin present, • And , I have an unfocused, unorganized and fuzzy future……. How can we get started toward a healthy marriage? CONSIDER THIS

  17. Looking back at your life- the past • Acknowledge the facts--it is what it is--/ know yourself/consciously turn • Forgiveness of self and others • Thankfulness for what was good • Process your good and bad experiences-what does that mean to me now? How am I acting-out? • Squeeze every principle out of your experiences • How was the hand of God on you then to shape you for now? • Get help to process/grieve/untangle those past issues that are weighing you down from running, and sapping your strength-want and need to throw off every encumbrance • Know our mate’s past wounds, weaknesses, deep needs, and recommit to doing all you can to making them whole-BUILD-UP • Plan for wholeness…. “as was” to“as is” to “to be” • Totally trust/lean on Him for recovery and wholeness. • Don’t rob tomorrow by continually making payments to the past.

  18. ….and, how about right now? Are there some concrete steps you can take for conditioning? • Refresh your convictions/beliefs/examine yourself = reclaim an ‘all in’ attitude in your faith and marriage • Join the Rec Center = come to Christ-Eph 2:8&9; claim your covenant relationship with your spouse • Throw-off encumbrances and unnecessary weights = repent of sin = seek forgivemness • Restock your shelves = Bible study/small groups = express your love and respect to one another • Inventory your temptations = clean your house • Strengthenyour relationships = fresh recommitment to your mate, family, small group • Chooseyour friends = distance from others • Worship your God = service/prayer • Depend upon Him hourly for the results

  19. How about tomorrow, especially as a couple? • Wait---I already told you, I have an unfocused, unorganized and fuzzy future……. • Sharpen your mission-do you know what you want your marriage to be and look like in 2 years? 5 years? • Review your intake- the Word, prayer, TV, language, movies, poor choices of friends • Create/Review your own priorities as a couple • Allocate your scarce resources--make choices • Scrape-away and throw-off the irrelevant and draining weights and encumbrances—build margin into your life • TAKE DEAD AIM – are you adrift, or do you have purpose and direction?Do you want it badly enough? • Make grace, dignity, forgiveness and mercy a staple • Are you prepared to Build-up each other?

  20. Where are we going in 2010? • Ears, part 1, Itching Ears-- Sep 12 • Ears, part 2, Listening Ears-- Sep 19 • Face and Nose-- Sep 26 • Eyes-- Oct 3 • Skeleton--Oct 10 • Muscles and Connectors-Oct 17 • Hands & Feet--Oct 24 • Mind & Brain--Oct 31 • Heart & Blood-- Nov 7* *Move clocks back (Fall back) • Fall Marriage Panel-Nov 14 • Mouth & Tongue- Nov 21 • No class Nov 28--T’giv • Christmas Dinner- Dec 4 • Skin, hair & nerves-Dec 5 • Private Parts-- Dec 12 • The Whole Person--Dec 19 • No classes Dec 26/Jan 2 • Class resumes Jan 9, 2011

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