Family Problems-Spousal Abuse

1. Family Problems-Spousal Abuse Tuesday, November 13th, 2012

2. How Can You Identify Abuse? • On a piece of paper, write down if you think these are examples of verbal or physical violence. • Insulted or swore at the other • Did or said something to spite the other • Threatened to hit or throw something at the other • Threw, smashed, hit or kicked something • Pushed, grabbed or shoved the other • Slapped the other • Beat up the other • Used a knife or gun on the other • Hit or tried to hit he other with something

3. Answers- Verbal or Physical Violence • Insulted or swore at the other (verbal) • Did or said something to spite the other (verbal) • Threatened to hit or throw something at the other (physical) • Threw, smashed, hit or kicked something (physical) • Pushed, grabbed or shoved the other (physical) • Slapped the other (physical) • Beat up the other (physical) • Used a knife or gun on the other (physical) • Hit or tried to hit he other with something (physical) Does this surprise anyone?

4. Spousal Abuse • It is estimated that 29% of Canadian women have, at some point in their life, suffered abuse from their partners. • In some cases, the man is the one abused in the relationship, but abuse that results in injury is mainly against women. • There is no way to identify abusers by their background. This means, they can be rich or poor and come from any ethnic and religious group. • What is common is the fact that men who abuse their partners tend to come from a family with a history of violence.

5. Feminist Theorists • Supporting the view that there is this dominant social attitudes that support male power. • Boys more than girls are socially taught to be tough and to hit. • When both spouses have equal power in the relationship there is a less chance of spousal abuse. However, when either husband or wife is more dominant than the other there is a greater chance of spousal abuse.

6. Battered Woman Syndrome • I overheard someone ask- “why do abused women refuse to leave their partners?” • This is a really good question. It leads to the term Battered Woman Syndrome. This is a psychological problem that is attached to women who refuse to leave their partners. • Women actually fear what could happen if they do leave their partner. • Some of you may be shocked to learn that this syndrome has been accepted in legal defenses used by women who have killed their abusive partners after years of suffering with the abuse.

7. Why did they stay? • I don’t want to go to the police because I don’t want to ruin his life • He drinks-and when he drinks he is not himself, he is not in control. (This is in denial…making excuses for partners actions) • Down play the seriousness (bruises) • He is not victimizing me, I know how to push his buttons, I am the one who provoked it. (This is self-blaming) • I can’t leave. I have no skills. I also have children and I do not have any money. All I have concept. • I married him for better or worse

8. Dealing with Spousal Abuse • Change is slowly occurring in spousal abuse, however more change is clearly needed. • There needs to be more abuse shelters in place for those abused and children. • Education is also important. Young people need to understand the consequences of spousal abuse. • In one study, 37% of victims and 31% of aggressors interpreted violence as the natural result of love. “He wouldn’t hit me if he didn’t love me” This is actually said a lot. Also, it may not just be one time, it can happen again and again. So do not make excuses for the aggressor.

9. Newspaper Advice Columnist • Assume the role of a newspaper advice columnist. Write a reply to someone who has asked what to do about violence in his or her relationship. • Begin your response with “If I were name, I would suggest you…” • Provide at least five reasons why your suggestions should be followed. • Please include spousal abuse terminology • You can write this up in the time remaining in class and then hand it in to me, or you can take it home and type it up and hand it in to me tomorrow.