Empowering the Bystanders

1. Empowering the Bystanders Presented by: Arielle D’Aprile, School Psychologist Round Hill Elementary Superintendent’s Conference Day 11/8/11

2. Meet the Characters • The Bully - Person(s) engaging in behavior with the intention of hurting another. • The Victim- person(s) who is bullied. • The Bystander(s)- Those who witness bullying or hear about it.

3. New Focus on Bystander • Most students engage in bullying behavior because they want an audience to impress. If the audience is disinterested or even defensive, bullying behavior will decrease. • Research supports positive bystanders maybe a more effective bully intervention. (Rigby, 2011) • Between 80% and 90% bystanders reported that observing bullying was unpleasant and made them feel uncomfortable. • When a bystander intervenes correctly it can “cut bullying more than 50%, and within 10 seconds.” (Borba, 2011)

4. New Focus on Bystander cont’d… • In less structured settings such as the playground, hallways, cafeteria, bathrooms, and school bus, adults are often unaware of the bullying that actually occurs. • Interventions are needed to teach bystanders how to play an active role to stop bullying. (Research supports only 1 in 5 stand up) • Early Intervention is key to teaching tolerance and empathy. • Positive Behavioral Supports (PBS) can help reinforce students to counter bullying behavior, rather than acting as passive witnesses. (Without education and PBS as many as 25% students actually encourage the bully) Adapted from: “Look Around…The Bystander. “ http://www.eyesonbullying.org “The Bully and the Bystander” http://www.Greatschools.org

5. 2 Types of Bystanders Hurtful aka “supporters,” or “reinforcers” Bystanders who join in and side with the bully, giving the bully more power reinforcing the bullying behavior • Stand idly by or ignore incident • Instigate or prod the bully to begin the hurtful act • Join in • Encourage the bully by laughing or cheering them on Effective aka “defenders” Those who intend to help the victim by saying or doing something to discourage the bullying behavior • Directly Intervene • Get Help (Rivers et. All, 2009. Observing Bullying at School: The Mental Health Implications of Witness Status, School Psychology Quarterly)

6. Video NBC Dateline Bully/Bystander experiment • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6W9N9ZDBA1M&feature=related What type of bystanders did you witness?

7. Misconceptions and hesitations of being a “Helpful Bystander” • Better to stay neutral- “It’s none of my business.” “I don’t want to be a snitch.” • Feeling powerless- “I‘m just 1 person, I’m not going to be able to stick up for Jimmy against those 6 boys.” • Fear of retribution- “If I stick up for Sally, then they might start to pick on me too.” • Telling an adult won’t help- “There’s no point to telling the teacher, he’ll keep teasing me anyway.” • Fear of association- “If I say something, they’ll think I’m friends with her.” • Peer pressure- “If I pick on him too, maybe they’ll let me hang out with them more.”

8. What School Personal Can do • Through class discussion/ class meetings: -Demonstrate that students aren’t alone in feeling bullying is wrong. - Alter irrational thoughts and address misconceptions about bullying • Teach what bullying looks and sounds like- -Physical -Verbal -Passive Aggressiveness/ Relational Aggression -Electronic/Cyber-bullying • Teach differences between tattling and reporting • Acknowledge bravery and empower students -Some of the most hesitant children are those who have been bullied in the past. -Children will make mistakes. Use the mistakes as opportunities to learn,

9. Bully B.U.S.T.E.R Strategies • B- Befriend the Victim • U-Use a Distraction • S- Speak out and Stand Up • T- Tell • E- Exit Alone or With Others • R- Reason or Remedy (Borba, 2011)

10. B- Befriend the Victim Intervention is more affective when victim is supported by others. Other bystanders will be more likely to intervene. • Position body closer to show support • Empathize with victim U-Use a Distraction A distraction will take the focus off the victim. • Ask a question • make a comment, • false accusation, etc..

11. S-Speak Out and Stand Up • Verbalize inappropriate behavior and label it. “You’re hurting his feelings! That’s being a bully.” • Show disapproval T-Tell or Text for Help • Report incident to adult. (Telling is different than tattling)

12. E- Exit Alone or With Others Remember, bullies want an audience. Without an audience you can prevent a reinforcement of this behavior. • Encourage others to leave with you • Directing “Let’s go!” • Asking “You’re coming, right?” • Exit- if others do not join you, leave anyway. R- Give Reason or Remedy Review with peers why it’s wrong. Validate why it was a good decision to support the victim. Recommend students talk it out with adults.

13. Video • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vk_k2pnMO9o&feature=related (5/6) • What bully buster strategy did the bystanders use?

14. Reinforcing Effective Bystander Behavior • Round Hill Kindness Coins • Verbal Praise – given individually or in front of a group • “Caught Being Good” note sent home • Intrinsic Motivation “Each time a child practices an assertive response, fearful, and helpless thoughts are replaced by strong and confident ones.” -eyesonbullying.org

15. Resources • Borba, Michele “Mobilizing Student Bystanders to Stop Bullying.” February 23, 2011. • Coloroso, Barbara “Bully, Bullied, Bystander... and Beyond. Help Your Students Choose a New Role.” Teaching Tolerance. Spring 2011 • Rigby, K, Ph.D., “Playground Heroes.” Greater Good . University of California, Berkley. Fall/Winter 2006-2007. • Rivers, I., Noret, N., Poteat, P., & Ashurst, N. Observing Bullying at School: The Mental Health Implications of Witness Status, School Psychology Quarterly, 2009 • “The Bully and the Bystander” http://www.greatschools.org/parenting/bullying/593-the-bully-and-the-bystander.gs?page=1 • “Look Around…The Bystander. http://www.eyesonbullying.org

16. The End Questions? Comments?