Positive Solutions for Families

1. Positive Solutions for Families Teach Me What To Do! Emotional Literacy

2. Emotional Vocabulary

3. Children with a Strong Foundationin Emotional Vocabulary… • tolerate frustration better • get into fewer fights • engage in less destructive behavior • are healthier • are less lonely • are less impulsive • are more focused • have greater academic achievement 3

4. Enhancing Emotional VocabularyWorkbook Handout #14 Talk about feelings Ask your child to tell you how he/she feels Teach new emotion words (e.g., frustrated, confused, anxious, excited, worried) Talk about how characters in a book, video, or on TV may feel Reflect on situations and discuss feelings Accept and support your child’s expression of feelings Use books and art activities to talk about emotions 4

5. English/ Spanish 5

6. Children’s Book Nook Books can teach about feelings and help children learn new skills 6

7. Controlling Anger and Impulse How can we help our children… recognize anger in themselves and others? learn how to calm down? understand appropriate ways to express anger?

8. Turtle TuckWorkbook Handout #18 • Recognize • that you • feel angry. Think, “Stop.” Go into shell. Take 3 deep breathes. And think calm, coping thoughts. Come out of shell when calm and thinking of a solution. 8

9. Turtle Box 9

10. Time-Out 10 Step 1: Provide brief explanation and guide child to chair. Remain calm. Step 2: Set a timer (3 to 4 minutes only) and let your child know (calmly) that when the timer goes off, he/she can get up. If your child leaves prior to that time, return your child to the chair. Step 3: When time is over, allow child to return to activity. Provide child with positive, calmly stated, and brief reminder to use appropriate skills. Praise an appropriate behavior as soon as possible.

11. Common Mistakes: Time-Out 11 • Angrily threatening time-out • Gives child the attention he/she is wanting • Allowing other children to tease the child who is in time-out • Gives the child attention • Applying time-out long after the behavior has occurred • Time-out is only effective when immediately applied. • Scolding your child when putting him/her in or out of time-out • Time-out only works when it is time away from adult attention.

12. Problem-Solving Steps 12

13. Help Your Child Think of Possible Solutions Get an adult Ask nicely Ignore Play Say, “Please stop” Say, “Please” Share Trade toys/item Wait and take turns

14. Problem-Solving Games What if your sister hit you? How would you feel? What could you do? What if you wrote on Mommy’s bedroom wall with a marker? How would you feel? How do you think Mommy would feel? What could you do? What if you knocked over your friend’s tower at school? How would you feel? How do you think your friend would feel? What could you do? What if you and your sister wanted to watch something different on the television? What could you do? What if someone at school was teasing you and calling you names. How would you feel? What could you do? 14

15. Problem-Solving Games (cont.) What if it was bedtime and you wanted hear one more book? What could you do? What if Daddy sent you to time-out for hitting your brother? How would you feel? How do you think your brother would feel? How do you think Daddy would feel? What could you do? What if you really wanted a toy at the toy store but Mommy said you could not have it? How would you feel? What could you do? What if you really wanted to play with your sister and her friends, but they said, “No”? How would you feel? What could you do? 15

16. Setting The Stage for Success! • Try to anticipate problems • Stay near your child • Support your child • Encourage your child 16

17. Things to Try at Home! Teach Me What to Do! Tell Me, Show Me, Help Me • Emotional Vocabulary • Controlling Anger and Disappointment • Problem Solving • Pick some of the strategies or ideas write 3 ideas that you can do with your child this week to teach emotional vocabulary skills. • (Activity #20) 17