Conflict Management

2. Conflict Management

3. Session Goals • Ensure we can distinguish between positive and negative conflict. • Share experiences and learn from each other • Develop an understanding of conflict escalation • Provide conflict resolution tools and techniques which can be applied in the workplace and volunteer settings. • Practice conflict resolution tools and techniques in various role playing exercises. • Ensure participants have the foundation knowledge from which to pursue more advanced training.

4. Ask yourself: • What are your expectations from this workshop? • What types of conflict are you currently dealing with or do you expect to be involved in? • Are you usually involved in conflicts as a mediator or a participant? • Are there any areas you have a particular interest in where you would like us to focus?

5. Context • This session is part of your ongoing leadership development. It will help you take on volunteer leadership roles in the community. • We are all unique individuals. We have different educational backgrounds, work histories, skills, abilities, and personalities. • Our situations are different. Take this information and adapt it to your needs. • Listen to what others are saying and make it relevant to you!

6. “A situation becomes a conflict because of people’s reactions to the circumstances or the actions of others. Those reactions are based on learned values, biases, and life experiences.” Prudence Bowman Kestner & Larry Ray, The Conflict Resolution Training Program. Team Exercise: Conflict Resolution Bingo

7. Not all Conflict is Bad! Conflict Management - Not Elimination

8. “Conflict can be defined as the process which begins when one party has negatively affected, or is about to negatively affect, something that the first party is concerned about.” Dun and Bradstreet Managerial Success: The Manager’s Guide to Successful Leadership (1999)

9. Conflict is natural and unavoidable. The ability to manage it is a key management skill. Some common conflicts include: • Disputes between members of an organization’s board of directors • Board - Staff conflict • Idea-based conflicts between employees • Personality-based conflicts between employees • Family Conflicts • Community Conflicts (e.g. neighbor blows snow in your driveway).

10. Some people consider conflict harmful. They feel it should be corrected or suppressed quickly. If it is not addressed, they feel the organization will become dysfunctional. • This is not true! Conflicts can be productive if properly managed. Most managers now take the view that conflict should be encouraged as debate and questioning will ultimately result in increased creativity and better decision making.

11. To be positive, conflict must: • Be actively managed to produce the desired results • Be curtailed so there is not so much conflict as to impede group performance • Support the group goals • Avoid non-productive debates that hinder performance. • Focus conflict around ideas not personalities.

12. Challenger Disaster: 73 seconds after countdown the Challenger Space Shuttle exploded. Rocket fuel had leaked when a rubber O-ring seal failed; spilling hot gasses generated by solid rocket firing. Upon review, it was determined that the launch decision making process was flawed. An engineer with the company involved in the design disagreed with NASA and warned of the risk involved in the launch the day before. He knew the rings had not been tested in cool temperatures and pointed out that failure could cause loss of life. Officials tried to suppress the conflict and applied pressure to change the recommendation. The recommendation was changed to conform to the group; ending the conflict without fully investigating it.

13. Front row from left, Mike Smith, Dick Scobee, Ron McNair. Back row from left, Ellison Onizuka, Christa McAuliffe, Greg Jarvis, Judith Resnik.

14. Exercise: Positive Conflict • Break into groups of four • Identify three situations where you feel conflict may be positive. • Discuss

15. How things go from Bad to Worse! Conflict Escalation

16. Conflicts tend to go through stages: Stage 1. Resentment: Those involved in the conflict start to depersonalize each other. They communicate less and are more guarded when they do. They perceive real differences in positions Stage 2. Expansion: More people and issues start to get dragged into the conflict.

17. Stage 3. Hostility: Combatants start visibly showing their dislike for each other. They devalue those who are opposed to them and assign blame for the conflict to them. Stage 4. War: Sides become completely polarized. Everyone is “for” or “against” a side. Loud arguments, name calling, and threats are common. Combatants refuse to work together.

18. Discussion: • Have you witnessed the escalation of conflicts? • What caused them to escalate? • What could have been done to prevent the escalation?

19. Generic Approaches to Conflict

20. Role Play: Work Schedule Conflict • Pair off with another person. • One of you will play the role of an employee requesting a change to their work schedule. The other will play the role of the employee’s supervisor. • Read the information sheet for the role you have chosen. • Act out this conflict & see if a mutually agreeable solution is possible.

21. Strategy 1. Avoiding: Ignoring the conflict in the short term. Use when the issue is unimportant and neither party feels strongly about the conflict. You are hoping that the issue will resolve itself or fade away. Often you may avoid because you do not have time to engage or because you are dealing with a higher priority issue. It is a passive approach which does not result in agreement. Example: There is disagreement within the social club over where the Christmas dance should be held. It may be in your best interest to stay out of this and see if it resolves itself.

22. Strategy 2. Accommodating: Giving the aggrieved party what they want. Typically used where the issue is not important to the organization but it is important to the individual or where it is critical to maintain a good relationship with the individual. Example: An employee files a grievance because she has allergies which are aggravated by the carpet in her office. It may be easier to simply take up the carpet than require her to prove her case.

23. Strategy 3. Collaborating: Conflicting parties approach the conflict as a mutual problem and work to find a resolution which both parties can agree on. Creates a win-win situation and dispels the “zero sum” myth. Example: Administrative staff insist that the photo copier is unreliable and breaks down during big print jobs. They say it is a cause of stress and wasted time. They insist on purchasing a new copier immediately. The financial officer says the company is in a very tight cash flow situation and purchasing an expensive new copier is not in the cards. Working together, they develop win-win options such as leasing a new copier or keeping the old one and contracting out large print jobs.

24. Strategy 4. Competing: One side in the conflict is taken at the expense of the other; creating a winner and a loser. Often used when there are time sensitivities. You must be sure that you have the power to impose the solution. Results in win-lose. Example: A funding agency will support one of two initiatives you submitted to them. The executive director wants to action trials on growing a new type of berry. The board chair wants to explore an investment attraction strategy. The board selects the investment attraction initiative because it is a higher priority project. The Executive Director loses.

25. Strategy 5. Aggression: Can be seen as an extreme for of competing. The parties are totally focused on winning and the dispute is polarized. Threats are common. It is used where an issue is a high priority and of great importance to you. There are few circumstances where this is appropriate. Example: Who gets in the last lifeboat!

26. Strategy 6. Compromising: Both sides give up something. There is no clear winner but both sides save face. It is really a lose – lose situation in that no one gets what they want. Example: A former storage area has been cleared out and two divisions request the space. After discussion, they both agree to utilize one-half of the space each.

27. Exercise: Adjusting your Conflict Style • Break into groups of 4 • One member should volunteer to describe a conflict they have faced or are facing. • The volunteer should describe the specific actions they took to help resolve the conflict and what the outcomes of their actions were. • The group will then discuss to determine if there are other approaches which may also have worked.

28. Conflict Management Tools

29. Negotiation: Usually associated with bargaining. It is typically used when a contract or transaction is involved. Parties come to terms through discussion. Mediation: A 3rd person acts as an intermediary to help settle a dispute. They guide discussion to help generate a solution. Parties must want to settle and demonstrate some give & take.

30. Arbitration: An impartial 3rd party listens to both sides of a dispute and and decides on the issue. The disputing parties are bound by the decision. Often flows from a contract of dispute over money (no flexibility) or when mediation has failed. • Collaboration: Parties work together to come up with creative solutions to produce mutually desirable outcomes. Brainstorming is often used. No neutral 3rd person is required.

31. Consensus: Those involved in the conflict agree on some points and come to a decision they can all live with. Everyone gives a little. Not the same as voting although some associate it with majority rule. Conciliation: Similar to mediation except the conflicting parties do not meet in person. The 3rd party is a go between. Has advantages if the conflicting parties escalate the conflict when they meet.

32. When resolving conflict, try to increase: • Flexibility: Try to give the partys room to move. • Equality: Ensure both party’s concerns are heard and their interests taken into consideration. The outcome should mutually agreeable, where possible, or you may be just postponing the conflict. • Creativity: Try to look at the problem from different perspectives. Avoid the “zero sum game” mentality.

33. Role Play: Mediation • Divide into Groups of 4. One of you will play the role of a sibling who operates the family farm. Another will play a sibling who is part owner of the farm but does not work on it. A 3rd person will play a mediator who is working with the siblings to come to a mutually agreeable solution. The 4th person will observe and take notes. • Read the information sheet for your specific role. • Act out this conflict. • Discuss with the Group.

34. Role Play: Collaboration • Divide into Groups of 4. • One of you will play the role of a supervisor. Others will play an administrative assistant, a sales person, and a order fulfillment specialist. • Read the information sheet for your role. • Act out this conflict and work to develop an acceptable dress code policy. Protect your positions but try to work together. Be creative! • Discuss with the Group.

35. Crises Management

36. What makes a crisis a crisis? • Conflict is often involved in a crises. • There is (or you perceive there is) limited time. • You feel like the situation is beyond your control. • You may feel heightened stress. Your response to a crisis will, to a large extent, determine if the event is positive or negative. People sometimes create crisis in their minds when the situation is really not a crisis.

37. The feeling of crisis can impact your judgment. • It provokes a “fight or flight” response. • You are less creative & don’t think as clearly

38. Steps in Managing Crises: • Identify the factors that caused it. • Take steps to reduce these factors. • Identify the stress the situation produces. • Practice stress reducing activities to keep stress in check during a crisis. • Understand your perception during a crisis. • Try to change the way you view the crises. E.g. You could treat it as a chance to shine, a learning experience, or a challenge.

39. Effective Communication

40. Role play: Active Listening • Divide into groups of three • Read instructions. One of you will play the supervisor and another will play an employee. The 3rd person will be an observer. • Commence Role Play (5 minutes) • Report back to the group as a whole

41. Conflict Management Skills & Suggestions

42. When resolving conflict: • Have only one person speaks at a time • Listen to all sides & respect the opinions of all. • Understand that everyone wants to win • Try to identify a resolution that results in win-win scenarios (If possible!) Invent options for mutual gain. • Understand organizational priorities • Separate the personalities involved from the problem

43. Focus on interests, not positions. • Separate idea generation from idea evaluation so people feel free to speak • Generate several solutions and consider the pros and cons of each solution • Understand the role of power in dispute resolution • Know your best and worst scenarios. • Empathize but do not sympathize.

44. Ask questions! • Questions help you gather information which you can use to help focus the conflict. • They help direct the discussion • They help get people to think about the problem in a different way. You should ensure that your questions do not put people on the defensive. Think before you speak!

45. Exercise: Empathy • You must be sensitive to the emotional state of those involved. Read the following statements and responses. Do they demonstrate empathy? • Statement: Our division is really overworked. Response: We are all overworked. 2. Statement: I can’t work with Bob any longer. He is rude, loud, and bossy! Response: I know Bob is rough around the edges and I can appreciate that he can be a challenge to work with.

46. A good dispute arbitrator: • listens deeply & accurately; • works to build trust, establish a mutual desire for an acceptable outcome, and facilitates communication; • goes beyond perceptions & questions assumptions; • ensures discussions address interests vs. positions; • looks for innovative solutions; • looks for mutually acceptable outcomes; • is well prepared • is open to solutions • builds commitment to the process • establishes the authority of negotiators

47. A good negotiator: • Identifies her Best Alternative to a Negotiated Settlement (BATNA). • Engages in “linked traded” – Does not give up anything for nothing. • Identifies existing points of agreement. • Knows all she can about the opposing party. • Identifies many potential options for resolution. • Understands the importance of relationships & outcomes. (Avoids opportunistic behavior). • Knows the locations and times of meetings.

48. Performance & Office Politics Employee / Supervisor Conflict

49. Many supervisor / employee conflicts originate with the giving of feedback which is received as criticism. Effective Feedback: Supports others in a sustained, positive, & non-judgmental manner. It describes behavior and its impact after the behavior has occurred. It considers the feeling of the person getting the feedback. Criticism: Puts the receiver on the defensive (i.e. as an attack). It is often out of the blue, long after the behavior has occurred. The receiver may refuse to modify the behavior.

50. Discussion: What are some of the conflicts you have with your staff / supervisor? How do you normally handle these? What are some things you could try to better manage conflict?