Journal “In a united family, happiness springs of itself.” Chinese Proverb

1. Building Strong Families Journal “In a united family, happiness springs of itself.” Chinese Proverb Is your family united? How can you help unite and strengthen your family?

2. Thoughts • Stack every bit of criticism between two layers of praise. • It is more important to get in the first thought than the last word.

3. “A Sense of a Goose”

4. What are the Secrets of a Strong Family?

5. Students make a list of qualities of a Strong Family?

6. Questionnaire: • Make a list of areas where your family may need help.

7. Commitment • Make your family come first. • They go with each other when one of them has an activity. • An investment of time, energy, spirit, and heart. • We should also tell them about our day – then we are sharing. • Commitment = How you spend your time and money. • Beware of the demands of outside interests – remember your first job is ----- the family. • The commitment is in writing – a mission statement. • Decide what you want to stand for. Start with one sentence. • Mission statements change as the family changes.

8. Time Together • MAKE time for your family! • Find a balance of both Quality & Quantity of time. • Include some ‘Peak’ experiences • Vacations • Camping • Make continuous experiences meaningful • Eating together • Chores • Doing homework • The purpose of the task is to strengthen the relationship.

9. Appreciation • Express appreciation frequently & keep it short • Be appreciative of invisible work • Behavior is Contagious • Don’t give up too quickly, it takes 4 weeks. Feeling worthwhile and valuable is one of the most basic human needs.

10. Communication • Good Communication helps create: • A sense of belonging in a family • Increases understanding & empathy between its members.

11. Communication • The goal of communication is by far more important than the techniques. • People can tell if your goal is to win or if your goal is to understand or help • As we communicate, we need to be aware of our goals. If it is a good goal, our communication will go well.

12. Decision Making and Responsibilitiy • Healthy families, including children, cooperate with each other in making decisions. • Everyone in the family takes responsibility for own mistakes.

13. Creative Problem Solving • Strong families can solve problems in creative ways. • It is ok to have problems, but the key is to solve them quickly. • Build confidence in the family’s ability to solve problems & that the family will stay together, even when you disagree.

14. Values and Spiritual Wellness • Healthy families have a strong moral base in values and spiritual beliefs. • Share goals and ideas about what is important.

15. Affection • Small touches (non-sexual) • Love Currency – understanding what it is for the other person and learn to give it. • Make your Love Currency explicit. • Consider gender differences and love currency.

16. Activity: Magic Carpets

17. State Requirement #7 Strengthening Family Relationships

18. Make a list of 10 activities you can do with your family to build your family strength.

19. Strengthen Family Relationships Activity • Select two of the seven strategies to strengthen families’ relationships. • Implement this strategy for the next three weeks. • Explain what you are planning to do, using a SMART Goal (Specific, measurable, realistic…) • Do It. • Then explain what you actually did do. • Evaluate the strategy. Did the strategy strengthen your family? How? • How can you see this activity building unity in your family in the future?

20. As a class read “You can change your family”

21. Show: Sound of Music • What do you think about his rules?

22. Family Traditions • Fiddler on the Roof • How does family tradition influence our family unity?

23. Complete the Family Tradition (Worksheet ) • These can be simple, like eating dinner together every day • Maybe your extended family gets together once a month… • Perhaps your mom waits up for you after a date or dance to talk about it… • Can also be holiday related (open one present on Christmas Eve...) • Perhaps you attend siblings ball games, etc…. • Unusual: we sing a strange Christmas carol my sister wrote when she was in 2nd grade…

24. Whether you have grown up in a strong family or not, it is possible FOR YOU to have a strong and healthy family of your own. If your present family is a good model to follow, transfer those strengths to your new family. If not, rather than blame others, yourself, or circumstances, take responsibility for making your future family the kind of family that nurtures and loves its members. It doesn’t just happen by accident.. It takes effort and determination. Investing in your family is the best investment in the future you can ever make.

25. Summary: • Despite the media attention focused on the difficulties of family life, families are the foundation of our nation and society. To be a strong nation we must build strong marriages & families. This takes knowledge, determination, and hard work. • start building habits that will strengthen your family NOW!!