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Common Mistakes With Gratitude. EIE 18. Overview. Emotional intelligence requires honesty in our relationships. Absence creates: mistrust feelings of manipulation or deceit Lying is only one form of dishonesty. Common leader behaviors that may be misconstrued:. Sandwich Technique
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Overview • Emotional intelligence requires honesty in our relationships. • Absence creates: • mistrust • feelings of manipulation or deceit • Lying is only one form of dishonesty. • Common leader behaviors that may be misconstrued:
Sandwich Technique • give negative feedback sandwiched between positive feedback • Positive Reinforcement • per specific timetables and for specific gain • Reward & Recognition Programs • tie positive feedback to a monetary reward
The whole purpose of gratitude is to honor other people by acknowledging their efforts, attitudes, skills or experience.
Gratitude for the Sake of Gain • People see through use of gratitude for gain or manipulation • Gratitude with payoff in mind is corrupted • --> lack of desired positive response
Using Dollars to Measure Gratitude - 1 • Attaching money becomes a judgment of the effort • “If it was that good, why is it only worth $100? Why not $200?” • Formal monetary programs • lag the effort • require paperwork & approvals • contrary to optimal gratitude
Using Dollars to Measure Gratitude - 2 • Gratitude = truly honoring people’s efforts & sacrifices with a heartfelt thank you. • Pure gratitude is best • a message from one heart to another
Blind Gratitude • Not seeing clearly -- Not seeing & recognizing all contributors • E.g., you see that Chris did a great job on a project & tell him so. • But Pat’s efforts were also required to make the project a success. • --> hurt feelings if you ignore Pat
Redundant Gratitude • “Not again please” • Thanking everyone for everything every minute of the day • “Thank you” distorted due to overuse • Acknowledgment must be targeted
Insincere Gratitude • “Don’t say thank you if you don’t mean it” • People know instantly if you are insincere • Better to say nothing • Credibility ruined if you say things you don’t mean
Objective • To examine some of the common mistakes that people make when using gratitude or positive expressions of emotion in the workplace • To recognize importance of positive emotion in the workplace
Directions • Put a check mark next to any gratitude “spirit killers” listed on the page that you have witnessed. • Reflect on the impact of those spirit killers.
Debriefing - 1 • In groups of 4-5, discuss the impact of the gratitude “spirit killers” you have witnessed or experienced in the workplace.
Debriefing - 2 • Why do you think gratitude is one of those things that can be perceived as manipulative? • When is the risk for perception of manipulation the greatest? • What impact does culture, corporate or otherwise, have on this issue?