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Common Mistakes With Gratitude

Common Mistakes With Gratitude. EIE 18. Overview. Emotional intelligence requires honesty in our relationships. Absence creates: mistrust feelings of manipulation or deceit Lying is only one form of dishonesty. Common leader behaviors that may be misconstrued:. Sandwich Technique

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Common Mistakes With Gratitude

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  1. Common Mistakes With Gratitude EIE 18

  2. Overview • Emotional intelligence requires honesty in our relationships. • Absence creates: • mistrust • feelings of manipulation or deceit • Lying is only one form of dishonesty. • Common leader behaviors that may be misconstrued:

  3. Sandwich Technique • give negative feedback sandwiched between positive feedback • Positive Reinforcement • per specific timetables and for specific gain • Reward & Recognition Programs • tie positive feedback to a monetary reward

  4. The whole purpose of gratitude is to honor other people by acknowledging their efforts, attitudes, skills or experience.

  5. Common Mistakes Leaders Make When “Using” Gratitude”

  6. Gratitude for the Sake of Gain • People see through use of gratitude for gain or manipulation • Gratitude with payoff in mind is corrupted • --> lack of desired positive response

  7. Using Dollars to Measure Gratitude - 1 • Attaching money becomes a judgment of the effort • “If it was that good, why is it only worth $100? Why not $200?” • Formal monetary programs • lag the effort • require paperwork & approvals • contrary to optimal gratitude

  8. Using Dollars to Measure Gratitude - 2 • Gratitude = truly honoring people’s efforts & sacrifices with a heartfelt thank you. • Pure gratitude is best • a message from one heart to another

  9. Blind Gratitude • Not seeing clearly -- Not seeing & recognizing all contributors • E.g., you see that Chris did a great job on a project & tell him so. • But Pat’s efforts were also required to make the project a success. • --> hurt feelings if you ignore Pat

  10. Redundant Gratitude • “Not again please” • Thanking everyone for everything every minute of the day • “Thank you” distorted due to overuse • Acknowledgment must be targeted

  11. Insincere Gratitude • “Don’t say thank you if you don’t mean it” • People know instantly if you are insincere • Better to say nothing • Credibility ruined if you say things you don’t mean

  12. Objective • To examine some of the common mistakes that people make when using gratitude or positive expressions of emotion in the workplace • To recognize importance of positive emotion in the workplace

  13. Directions • Put a check mark next to any gratitude “spirit killers” listed on the page that you have witnessed. • Reflect on the impact of those spirit killers.

  14. Debriefing - 1 • In groups of 4-5, discuss the impact of the gratitude “spirit killers” you have witnessed or experienced in the workplace.

  15. Debriefing - 2 • Why do you think gratitude is one of those things that can be perceived as manipulative? • When is the risk for perception of manipulation the greatest? • What impact does culture, corporate or otherwise, have on this issue?

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