Chapter 6 – Resolving Conflicts

1. Chapter 6 – Resolving Conflicts What do you think of when you see these pictures? Why?

2. What is conflict? • Conflict is any disagreement or struggle between two or more people. • Conflict is part of all relationships. • Sometimes, the closer the relationship, the more conflicts there are. You spend more time together and often in closer quarters.

3. Types of conflict • Situational conflicts: • have a particular set of circumstances in which conflicts occur. • happen because living, working or playing together can all produce conflicts. • can be strong, but usually don’t last long.

4. Types of conflict(Cont.) • Personality differences: • occur because everyone’s personality is different, and so is the way they handle conflicts. • occur because there are such differences in values, likes, dislikes, styles, and traits. These things are what make us interesting and annoying to others. • often occur because when two people share a space, be it a bedroom or classroom, they will not necessarily have everything in common thus making room for conflicts to occur.

5. Types of conflict (Cont.) • Power struggles: • happen when one person is trying to use his/her power to influence someone else. • occur when issues are important to both people. • Control: • conflicts occur when someone directs another person’s behavior, for good or bad. If parents control their child’s behavior, that’s usually good, but if someone tries to control you by getting you to do something that goes against what you know to be right, that’s bad. • With control comes responsibility, be sure to take into account other people’s feeling and values.

6. What do you do in a conflict situation???? • Define the problem – Figure out what the real issue is before deciding what to do about it. Is there a personality difference or is this a power struggle? • Set limits – Keep your discussion on track by making sure each person knows what is off limits, like name-calling. • Negotiate – Try to make a deal or bargain with the other person so that you both get a little of what you want. • Compromise – “You can’t always get what you want” as the Rolling Stones’ song goes, so try to achieve a balance that you can both abide by without feeling like you gave up everything you wanted.

8. What if you can’t work it out??? • Consider a third party or mediator • this person needs to be an impartial observer who will listen to both sides objectively to make a decision which is best for both parties and the situation. • Schools often have peer mediators for students to help settle conflicts. • Families or couples can go to a mediator to help solve disputes which are too emotionally charged for either side to see how the conflict is progressing.

9. How do I avoid conflict??? • Don’t let other people “get to you” Let little things go, sometimes people are just looking for you to react. • Focus on the positive – If you look at the good instead of the bad, life usually looks better. • Don’t get physical – Walk away, cool off, change the subject, but as soon as it gets physical, it has the potential to get dangerous. You can’t turn back after you throw a punch.

10. R * E *S *P *E *C *T • Respect differences in others. Not everyone appreciates the same things you do. • Learn to appreciate what makes people different. It’s what makes people interesting. • Be clear in your messages so there isn’t confusion. If there is a misunderstanding, there will likely be conflict. • LISTEN to what someone is saying, actively. Ask for clarification if necessary. • Stay in control of yourself. You are the only person you can control in any situation!!

11. Light Bulb Moments: • Think about what you just saw in the clip and this power point and wrote on your study guide. • What are two things you will remember from this information? • Name one thing you didn’t know before. • If you could send a message around the world in every language about resolving conflicts, what would it be?