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Using Rhetorical Strategies to Help the Reader Understand and Remember What’s Important. Rhetorical Strategies: Sentences. Controlling passive voice Pruning Choose words for precision Consider combining sentences Clarifying pronoun reference Consider combining sentences
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Using Rhetorical Strategies toHelp the Reader Understand and Remember What’s Important
Rhetorical Strategies: Sentences • Controlling passive voice • Pruning • Choose words for precision • Consider combining sentences • Clarifying pronoun reference • Consider combining sentences • Controlling abstraction
Pruning • Blackout order of 1942 Such preparations shall be made as will completely obscure all Federal buildings and non-federal buildings occupied by the federal government during an air raid for any period of time from visibility by reason of internal or external illumination • President Roosevelt said: “Tell them that in buildings where they have to keep the work going to put something across the windows.” William Zinsser, On Writing Well
Instead of: utilize deem during the course of with respect to make use of despite the fact that give consideration to Use: use think during about use although consider Word Choice
Pruning: Removing the Dead Wood The following report outlines the different aspects relating to the current feasibility of constructing a magnetically levitated bullet train in Central Texas.
Combining Sentences: longer sentences may produce a shorter passage. • Does combining these sentences improve their readability? • What problems does combining solve? The population explosion in and around the Austin area has proved to be problematic regarding water-drainage structures. It has particularly affected the Brushy Creek area in southern Williamson County.
Combining Sentences The population explosion in and around the Austin area has proved to be problematic regarding water-drainage structures, particularly in the Brushy Creek area of southern Williamson County. Combining sentences produces longer sentences, but longer sentences may reduce overall number of words! Combined sentence is now a dependent clause, not a main clause.
Subordinating Words: be careful of sentence fragments! • Subordinating words link parts of a sentence together by subordinating one of the clauses: Examples: after, although, because, since, when, while The manager was late to the meeting. Becausethe plane was late. The manager was late to the meeting because the plane was late. incorrect: correct:
Subordinating Words • Although the data on VOC emissions have been questioned by the company. Sentence Fragment! • Although the data on VOC emissions have been questioned by the company,the ruling was upheld.
Subordinating words after although because since Transitional words meanwhile therefore, thus nevertheless however Subordinating words are not transitions (grammatically) • Make a clause subordinate. • Althoughthe data on VOC emissions have been questioned by the company, • . . . • Keep a clause independent. • Thus, the data on VOC emissions have been questioned by the company.
Pronoun Reference Be sure that the antecedent for each pronoun is clear. Notice the ambiguity of “their” in this example: We reviewed controls protecting the computer from environmental hazards so that we could determine their effectiveness.
Pronoun Reference In the future, the accountant responsible for the proofs should initial and date appropriate reports, sign out in the proof log, and revise checklist procedures accordingly. This will clearly indicate who has done the proof and when it was performed. procedure
Empty Pronouns • It was subsequently confirmed by NOEX USA that the wedge flowmeter had a bias of approximately -3 MMscf/d. This meant that the flowmeter was showing a flowrate of 3 MMscf/d when the well was shut in.
Empty Pronouns • It was subsequently confirmed by NOEX USA that the wedge flowmeter had a bias of approximately -3 MMscf/d. This meant that the flowmeter was showing a flowrate of 3 MMscf/d when the well was shut in. (36 words) • NOEX USA subsequently confirmed that the wedge flowmeter had a bias of approximately -3 MMscf/d, meaning the flowmeter was showing a flowrate of 3 MMscf/d when the well was shut in.(31 words)
Abstractions: Don’t Turn Verbs into Nouns! • The thermal decomposition of the TMAH occurs rapidly at these temperatures and results in the formation of trimethylamine and methyl alcohol. • TMAH decomposes quickly at these temperatures and forms trimethylamine and methyl alcohol. abstract