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Holding Your Reader. Who is your reader. ?. To revise to hold your reader: Think globally, then act locally. First, think globally : large-scale revisions Then, act locally : small scale revisions. PARC Global Coherence: Logical organization Unified structure
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To revise to hold your reader: Think globally, then act locally
First, think globally: large-scale revisions Then, act locally: small scale revisions
PARC • Global Coherence: • Logical organization • Unified structure • Natural transitions between paragraph Globally: Large Scale Revisions
✔ Purpose ✔ Audience ✔Role ✔Context
“Local” Small-Scale Revisions • Choices for order and content are resolved before you: • Unify within paragraphs for sentence cohesion: • Clear Language • Cohesive Language • Concise Language
Strategies for Improving Clarity • reread paragraphs for topic sentences • reorganize sentence order within paragraphs for • better unity and flow (cohesion) • removewords or sentences that distract • add words or sentences that repeat key subjects • move words or sentences for closer relationships
Strategies for Concise Language • reread sentences for word choice • remove sentences that detract or distract • remove “priming” words • revise for the active voice (no passive v.) • revise “abstract” nouns in favor of active verbs; change nominalizations to verbs: • The translation of the letter was done. • The immigration attorney translated the letter.
Strategies for Improving Cohesion in Paragraphs • Vary length of sentences • Put in guiding words or phrases (time, manner, place) • Revise out generalizations and clichés • Repeat key words; Use topic sentences and topic words
Transition Words and Phrases • Nudges • this + noun • that + noun • these + noun • those + noun • then • consequently • as a result • therefore • next • Links • also • although • for example • similarly • in contrast • in spite of • and • not only • however
Using Active Voice Or, To Be, or Not to Be
Use active and precise verbs !
“It is difficult to say what was meant in this.” I couldn’t understand what the speaker said.
“It is difficult to say what was meant in this.” I couldn’t understand what the words meant.
Passive Voice Problems: To be or not to be? A passive construction occurs when you make the object of an action into the subject of a sentence. The Passive is formed: Passive Subject + To Be + Past Participle
Passive Voice Problems: To be or not to be? A passive construction occurs when you make the object of an action into the subject of a sentence. Passive Subject + To Be + Past Participle For example: The cookies were eaten.
The Verb: To Be be being been am is; isn't are; aren't was; wasn't were; weren't Contractions with to be: * I'm (I am) * you're (you are); we're (we are); they're (they are) * he's (he is); she's (she is); it's (it is)
Examples of Passive Voice: The first doomsday claim discussed is global famine. It was claimed that the Earth would face a famine in the 1970s. It has been noted that the price of raw materials has been reduced. + Hacker website