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The Importance of Friendship and Choosing the Right Friends

Explore the reasons why we need friends and how we select them. Learn about fundamental attribution error and self-serving bias. Discover the role of non-verbal communication and parent-child relationships in forming friendships. Understand different types of love and the components of a healthy relationship.

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The Importance of Friendship and Choosing the Right Friends

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  1. Review • Why do we need friends? • How do we choose friends? • What is fundamental attribution error? Example? • What is a self-serving bias? Example?

  2. Why do we need friends? • Need company when most afraid / anxious • ) Need company when we are unsure of ourselves • Support in trying times Review How do we choose friends? 1) Proximity 2) Approval 3) Similarity 4) Complementary 5) Physical Appearance 6) Reward Values… *Stimulation value *Utility Value *Ego-Support Value

  3. Social Perception SMILE :-)

  4. Self Fulfilling Prophecy… S.F.P. The way you act toward someone changes depending on your impression of him or her, this in turn effects how the person interacts with you Perception becomes Reality

  5. Non Verbal Communication • 10% Verbal / 90% nonverbal • Eye Contact • Body Language • Facial Expressions • Social Rules ex: Touching • When the verbal language and the body language don't match up...trust the body language...

  6. Relationships Parent-Child Patterns of parent-child interaction influence later adult relationships Trust vs. Mistrust (Erik Erickson) Marital Relationships Parent-Child Conflicts Adolescence – Generational Identity What are some major differences in thinking between you and your parents?

  7. Love Relationships (Ellen Berscheid and Elaine Walster) Distinction between love as passion and love as friendly companionship • Passionate Love– Intense, sexual, high excitement, element of danger • Companionate Love– friendship, liking someone, closeness, stability • Most passionate love affairs = • Passion is pleasurable, but can be unstable • Can have both

  8. Triangular Theory of Love(Robert Sternberg) Intimacy, Passion, Commitment Intimacy = how close we feel to someone primary basis = sharing intense & personal info mutual acceptance Passion = physically aroused, attracted easily aroused, easily dampened Commitment – thinking components, desire to maintain decisive, 1st “in-love”…develops into lasting relationship

  9. Romantic Love = Summer Love “Real World” Dating FRIENDSHIP Infatuation / Lust Intimacy = Liking Friendship+ Passion+ Time = CONSUMMATE LOVE True Love Ideal Relationship PASSION= Physical, Sexual Fatuous Love = Shallow, Trophy Wife, Shotgun / whirlwind wedding Companionate Love = Long-term, Marriage w/o passion Commitment = Time EMPTY LOVE “For the sake of the children”

  10. Intimacy, Passion, Commitment Combinations of three components form different types of love • Liking based on intimacy, but not passion or commitment. close, intimate friendships with no long-term commitment; neighbor that moves away • Infatuation passion, with no intimacy or commitment. passionate attraction on sight, one night stand. • Empty Love commitment, lacking any intimacy or passion, lack of emotional warmth or heat of passion “tolerate” each other because of a false sense of duty, obligation, or fear of change • Romantic Love passion and intimacy, lacks commitment. "rose colored glasses" • Companionate Love intimacy and commitment w.o passion. A committed friendship and shared intimacy; EX: marriage where passion has dwindled or very close and intimate friendship that has survived through distance, hardship, and time. • Fatuous Love passion and commitment, but lacks intimacy. passion and commitment are combined before true intimacy can develop • Consummate Love Intimacy, commitment, and passion, perfectly matched

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