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College Prep Act II Journal Entries

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College Prep Act II Journal Entries

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  1. In the past, I went to visit my father in Boston to tell him that I had failed my math class and therefore did not graduate from high school. While in Boston, I surprisingly found out that my father had been cheating on my mother. My father, Willy, had been keeping it a secret and tried to cover up his horrible mistake. That is what triggered my belief of my father being a fake. Now days, I still believe my father was a fake. That also goes along with my brother, Happy. He never liked telling my father the truth because it resulted in making him angry. Well that is different for me. I told my father the truth about me not getting a job from Oliver. I told him every lie that he did not know about me. I have come to see that telling the truth is the right thing to do. I have learned that I need to change my ways because I have been known to steal in my days, and that will get me nowhere. I believe that what pushed my father over the edge to commit suicide was the lack of success in our lifestyle. He was always pushing me to get a job and to be successful in life. My problem is that I don’t know who I am yet and what I want to do with my life. I feel worthless and feel like I am “nothing”. My father felt as if he had failed as a parent. He felt that it was his fault that his sons were not successful. He once asked our neighbor, Bernard, what the road to success was, in hope that Happy and I would find our long lost way down that perfect road leading to happy and fulfilled life. Bernard never could answer that question because each individual will find their own way to their own success that makes them happy. My father will always be remembered. I will find success and make him proud.

  2. Ever since that day in Boston when I caught dad with that other woman, things have never been the same between him and I. We have never talked about it and I have never said anything to mom about it. Every time I return home we always fight and I always leave on a bad note. When I tried to meet with Oliver today all I ended up doing was stealing something else from him and dad doesn’t understand that I will never be able to work for Oliver. Happy and I took dad to dinner that night, that didn’t go so well. Happy told me that I should cover the truth and play it off like I was going to get the deal just to make dad happy. I couldn’t do that though. That would make me a fake just like dad. So I kept trying to tell dad but he never wanted to listen. He just kept saying how he “was sure it went well”, and “Oliver probably threw his arm around you”. He didn’t want to hear that another thing ended up in a failure. I could not lie to him though he needed to know the truth so he wasn’t living on a lie. I didn’t do the right thing though just leaving him there that night though I should have stayed at the restaurant and made him understand. I just left with happy and those girls. When I got home though all I wanted to do was talk to him and try to make things straight, but mom and I got in an argument and she just told me to leave. I found dad planting a garden out back talking to him self again. He and I started arguing about everything that had happened. I told him that I was leaving and that I wasn’t going to return ever again. He just started to get mad at me and told me to go to hell if I left this house. I just can’t come here anymore every time I come Pop and I fight and it just brings him down and I can’t have it anymore. So I walked away from Pop and I went upstairs. I listened to him and mom talking and then he stopped. I heard the car start and then pull away furiously and I knew he was gone. When we went to his funeral that day I couldn’t help to think that it was my fault. I tried so hard for dad and when I was in high school he was so proud of me, and now my life and turned into nothing in his eyes. But when I return home I tried for him I tried to get into sales and make him happy but I just couldn’t do it. I just can’t believe he was able to live his whole life as a fake knowing he was with that other woman and mom never knew about it. I will miss dad but I don’t want to live my life as he did.

  3. Dad hasn’t been well now for about as long as I can remember. He only seems to be getting worse; he’s always on the road and almost getting into accidents and coming home all confused. I’ve always tried to make him happy but it just seems like everything I do isn’t good enough; I don’t understand why I tell him everything that he wants to hear. All of his time and efforts go into Biff and what he can become and half the time I don’t think Biff really cares about dad. Ever since the time Biff went up to see dad in Boston, things changed between them, I’m not sure why they did but they did. If I think about it now things have changed between Biff and I now too; it’s like we switched who we are. Biff used to be so smooth with everybody and could get them to do anything but he don’t got that anymore. When dad got home the other day he told me he was so scared cause he almost killed a kid driving on his way to work. He just can’t focus anymore and with all his accidents, I’m not sure what to do. I want him and Biff to talk but I don’t think that they are going to; he’s just so sour at dad. They just can’t get along and it’s making me mad cause I think that’s the reason for all of dad’s problems. I’m made dad and Biff go out to eat with me tonight; we needed to talk and make dad proud of Biff and I again. The only thing is that it didn’t work and dad got all sour again, but it don’t help when Biff won’t tell dad what he wants to hear. That’s all he’s been doing is letting him down and now that he’s gone I hope Biff is mad at himself. Nothing got fixed between them but now I guess neither one of us have to worry about disappointing dad anymore.

  4. That son of a bitch, how can he just take his life to get away from everything? He was always a fake, he never thought about anyone but himself and ohh… ohh… my good my poor mother. How she must feel and how tragic it is for her to lose the love of her life, although she does not owe him that much. That rotten old man was never there for her, for Christ sakes… he was never there for any of us. Only if she knew… only if my mother knew what that selfish bastard did, if she knew what I had seen maybe things would have ended different. I still remember it, the image still burning in my eyes. I go to visit that unpleasant old man in Boston, he always complained about how lonely he was on the road. When he finally opens the door I try to talk to him. I got the weird vibe that he didn’t want me there. I wanted to tell him everything, how I had failed math, but that beside the point. A woman starts yelling at him from the bathroom. She comes out naked… My heart stopped. My own good for nothing, conniving, self centered father and he was cheating on my own sweet mother. I fled never looking back, never bringing it up, and never letting it die inside my head. Maybe if… no but…if I hadn’t failed math, if I would have studied and worked hard like Pop always said, if I had been more like Happy things could have ended different. Happy never had it hard I was the one that was always carrying the goddamn team! I always had the weight on my shoulders and my blasted father always added to the load saying I would be great that I would be famous. Hmm… look at me now, a washed up high school legend. No one remembers my name anymore. Even Oliver, he was always so in to me, he wanted my help all those years ago. I go to see him and he does not give me the time of day, I waited five hours to see him and for what… not even the slightest gesture to my presence. I will do it though I will do it for Pop I will show them all that I’m worth something. Maybe just maybe I can be more then just another disappointment. Although it’s to bad he is gone. He was not the best father, but he was my father and hopefully from where ever he is I can make him proud. I love you Pop and I forgive you.

  5. My life as a whole has been one hell of a rollercoaster ride from the beginning. When I was younger I was the apple of my father’s eye, I could do no wrong by him. I was captain of my high school football team and one of the most popular kids in school. I was well liked and everyone knew me. I was “like a young god, like Hercules…” in my father, Willy’s mind. I had three big name universities all vying for my talent to add to their roster for college ball. Life was going great and my relationship with my father couldn’t have been better, but like all good things, that happy time came to an end. Towards the end of my senior year I was having some trouble in math class and on the verge of not graduating. Upon hearing this, my father’s mood took a turn for the worst. He began to get shorter with me and snap quicker. Then the day I found out that I failed math I went to see my father in Boston, where he was staying on a business trip, so I could bring him the news myself. Oh boy was I in for an unpleasant and totally unexpected surprise. I arrived at his hotel room and knocked for a good five minutes and nothing happened. I even tried calling the room phone, but I still didn’t get a reply. Then I finally got let in and my father was there in his shirtsleeves looking very uneasy. I started to tell him my story and threw in the part about how I poked fun at my teacher’s lithp. It got a laugh from him and also a laugh from the bathroom, which intrigued and disturbed me. After my father tried to play it off as nothing, a scantily clad woman came out of the bathroom and demanded that my dad give her the stockings her promised her. I watched this whole event unfold before my eyes in horror and disbelief. He claimed she was just a buyer and she showed merchandise in her room down the hall and her shower broke so she used his. After tossing the stockings at her and throwing her out of the room I realized what really happened. I then erupted, calling him a phony and a fake, screaming about how he had just given that woman mama’s stockings. He tried to tell me how he was lonely and it meant nothing and then tried ordering me to leave the room and check him out. From that day on I never looked at may father the same way. Sure I loved him but things were always uneasy between us. I began drifting from job to job trying to find my place in life but never seeming to find a place to settle down. I returned home after a long and grueling ten years or so with my brother Happy. We saw what was happening to dad and it scared us, but it also made me angry. He was short and rude to mom and he seamed to be trying to kill himself. After a series of unfortunate events that led up to our final confrontation, he was out planting the garden one night and then something happened. We heard the car speed away and then end with a sickening crash. Thus ended the life of my father, Willy Loman. Before he died we seemed to come to an understanding about each other.

  6. Oh Willy, I thought that if the boys came you would get back on track in life. I guess, I don’t know, maybe if Biff found him self at home everything would go back to normal. It seemed like it was going to be so great. You and me and the boys again. But you and Biff had something else going on; you and Biff were continually scowling at each other. When Happy and you talked to Biff about seeing Oliver to get a job I saw a spark in you that I hadn’t seen in a long while. I thought that, that was it everything was going to be good from there on out; Happy is successful, you still have your job, that the house is almost paid off, Biff has a job as a salesman, and I would be happy that your happy. It was not till Biff came home from the interview angry that he was nobody, I saw that all slip away. I know Biff has lost all of his confidence but it’s not your fault, it’s his fault, he is lost. I don’t understand Willy, why am I so confused about my feelings.

  7. My name is Biff, the son of Willy Loman. I have been working out in the far west working on a ranch. My dad says that I need to get a real job that pays good money a week. He is a little disappointed that I did not become more successful in my life after I had a successful high school career. I was very popular in high school, had really good skills in athletics and was offered a scholarship to the University of Virginia. I would have gone there if I didn’t flunk math and couldn’t graduate. My dad was so proud of me. One day when he was in Boston for his work I caught him with a naked girl in his hotel room. That changed my relationship with my father. I never told my mom but really wanted to. I never thought that I would see my dad with another girl. I was looking up to him as a role model. Now that I came home to see my mom and dad many years after the hotel incident happened. When I came home my father had a short fuse and kept on yelling at my mom. I was not going to let my father treat my mother like that after I saw him with that girl at the hotel many years before. Later I asked my mom about his temper and how long he has been doing that. My mom said he has been doing bad and that he had been attempting to kill himself. I could not believe what I was hearing. I then tried to hang out with my dad and try to loosen him up because he was so stressed. Once I saw how bad he was I decided that I needed to stay home for a while and help him and make some money for the family. I tried to talk to Bill Oliver to get a job in sales but he didn’t remember me and didn’t give me any money. My dad also got fired so there was no income coming into the house. My father couldn’t handle it anymore so he decided to kill himself. He might have thought that we would be happy with the insurance policy money that we would get. The day of the funeral was the last payment of the house. There wasn’t a whole lot of people at the funeral. Now that my father is gone I will have to stay at the house and take care of my mother. I will have to get a job and be the man of the house since I am the oldest now. I still can’t believe that he thought that was the only way out of his problems. My dream of starting my own ranch in the west with my brother is looking like nothing then a fantasy. Sometimes in life you can’t always get what you want. Sometimes you just have to deal with it.

  8. “I am Biff Loman, the son of Willy Loman. My father passed away due to the act of suicide. My father and I had a very complex relationship and it was more complicated than anyone else ever knew. You could say that our relationship was similar to that of a rollercoaster. We had our ups and downs throughout my life; it started on an up and was on the hill going up when he too his own life. It all started as on the top of the hill when I was in high school. I was the star of the football team, I was getting letters from multiple colleges, and I was a ladies man! My dad was always so proud of me. He came to watch my games and supported me throughout; however, our father-son bond went down hill the day I caught him cheating on my wonderful mother Linda. My father supported me so much that the day I failed math class, he was the first person I ran to for help. In order to receive the scholarships to college I needed to graduate and with an F in math, I wouldn’t graduate. I went to the hotel where he was staying because I needed him to talk to my math teacher in order to get my grade brought up; in turn I would graduate. But when I heard a woman’s voice I knew something was up. The lady finally came out and I lost all hope. My father was a lying fake. He was cheating on my mother and lying to my brother, Happy, and myself. I couldn’t trust him ever again. I gave up on going to college mostly because I had failed math and there was no way I was letting this liar help me! I left. For a long period of time after that, until very recently, our relationship was never mended. I went from job to job, spent time in jail, and did everything possible to not come home and see that awful man. You know, I still wonder if I should have told my mom what I saw that day in the hotel room. She never understood why my father and I had such a rough relationship but I could never bring myself to break her heart. She was a great lady and she loved my father. When I came home this last time before my father’s death, I knew something was going to be different this time. I was looking for a job and doing things I thought would make Willy Loman a happy man again. When my father got fired, he was determined to find another way to make money for his family. My mother loved him so much and always had his back. The last night before his death, when he came home from dinner without Happy and myself, my mother was irate. She said we knew that was dangerous and should never have left him alone so we could hang out with some girls. But we did anyways because we were selfish. And that night when I was apologizing to my dad, we finally were trucking back to the good relationship we had when I was younger. I could tell he was proud of me and I showed him my true emotions. I loved him and never stopped loving him.”

  9. After the tragic death of my father, Willy Loman, I find it not as surprising as I thought it to be. I should have expected this because of the very strange behavior and thoughts from him in his last times. I don’t really feel that him and me knew enough about each other to appreciate each other’s decisions or perspectives on different things. He was a very mysterious man and it was very hard for me to figure out why he did some of the things he did. As I knew he had tried to commit suicide before because of the rubber stopper my mother had to keep taking on in off in the basement before, but I thought when things started to change and I started to please him more and more maybe that would change. I believe he was a man who wanted much more than he was willing to get or convince anyone he needed. He was offered a great job to fit his needs and absolutely did not want anything to do with it. These types of things about my father I just could not figure out. I could tell he was very interested on the big deal I have been working on and was some what pleased to be my father, but that obviously wasn’t what he wanted. He was so unsure about himself and what he wanted but was too afraid to admit it to anyone. Whenever he thought he wanted something he would constantly back track and change his thoughts immediately, nothing was ever good enough or what he wanted to fit his needs and because he was this way his whole family was up in arms trying to figure him out while he just let it all happen. He never really let me think for myself or try to make my own decisions, that’s why everything is the way it is today. In his last times he made it seem as different but that’s because he knew deep down what he was going to do to himself and wanted to leave a certain impression on his son who never really knew him that well. He taught me a lot about life and what a person must do to be successful by observing the things he did in his life, his opportunities and his mistakes. The way he left his family, and the effects it left on us. Overall the only thing I am able to take away from everything is his memory, and everything he taught me one way or another. He was my father and I learned a lot from all the experiences I had with him, whether that be good or bad it still taught me very much. As the curtain falls I am here with a lot on my mind with everything that has happened and what im going to do next.

  10. After the tragic death of my husband, I look back at all the events leading up to this point. The rubber hose, the going off the road, and all the little accidents he’s got himself into recently should have been clearer hints to me. I thought of what they might mean, and killing himself did come to mind; but I never thought that that is what he really wanted. I should have listened to my first instinct and tried to protect him. I played it off as if it was no big deal, but when really it needed to be handled right away. I say to my boys that we are free, but really that means nothing. I loved my husband and without him my life is not the same. Yes, he was a burden to my boys and me, but I don’t think any of us wanted it to end like this. Willy was a good man and meant well. I am sure it was the exhaustion, perception of success, and relationship between him and his sons that drove him to this point. I just wish everything could be taken back. I wish I could fix my mistakes and listen to my instinct.

  11. As I sit alone in the bedroom I once shared with my husband I have mixed emotions about his passing. I do miss him very much. I mostly miss his good moods, not so much the bad. The times he would tell me I was his foundation, his everything made me feel so loved and full of joy, a tear comes to my eye at just the thought of his smile as he told me how much I meant to him. Then, I remember why he isn’t here to tell me all these things and I remember that his death was his choice and I am enraged with anger. I can’t fathom how he thought that killing himself was the best option. I want to know what thoughts went through his head; then again I knew Willy Loman long enough to know exactly what he was thinking about, money! Everything was always about money for Willy. He never once thought how I would feel or what his death would do to our boys! He just probably hoped we would all miss him but applaud him for his decision, but he was oh so wrong! As I sit here then fuming over all the stress Willy has caused on my family, and me I come to a bittersweet realization. The people that he hurt most, Bif, Happy, and myself, are now free from him. We are free from the nonsense, stress, and constant worrying that defined our relationship with Willy. Even though we all loved him very much, whether or not we liked him so much all the time, there is a certain sense of relief that floods over one when such a burden is lifted. As I stood next to the grave of my beloved husband, still in shock of his death, I came to this divine realization. Only with that realization came guilt, for only when that understanding was made could the tear I had been trying so hard to create flow from my eyes like a spring storm. I will truly miss my Willy, but I am so relieved to be rid of the bad times that he brought about with his obsession over money and his specific definition of how our boys should act and work. I think his passing has brought about a new attitude about life in the boys. Bif is more determined than ever to succeed how his father would want him to and Happy, well, Hap is more relieved than anything, especially that he had told Willy the truth about his life, he feels more closure than the rest of us. Oh, how thankful I am that I still have my wonderful boys! They said they would take me to dinner tonight to celebrate the life of their father as well as our new lives without him. I think they realize, just as I do, that even though Willy’s life is over their lives may only be just beginning. They truly understand that when one door closes another one opens, for all of us.

  12. Willy seems much more happy since he has learned of Biff going to see Oliver. Willy wants Biff to go somewhere in life, to make something of himself. However, Willy gets very upset over the slightest things. For instance, when I mentioned to him how things need to be fixed, such as the fridge, he gets mad about it. There is nothing I can do when things break except for letting him know that they need to be repaired. When I told Willy that the boys wanted him to meet them for dinner though his mood changed again, and he seemed to be much more happy. Willy seems to really be changing things around, especially since he said he was going to go down to work and ask to work in New York instead of having to drive around everywhere. He has just become too tired to be driving around as much as he did when he was younger. There are too many things going on in his life that do not make things better. Biff and Happy do not seem to be making anything better on Willys’ behalf. Happy does not appear to care about Willy as much as he used to, and same goes for Biff. They have changed so much. Life seemed better when they were younger and everyone got a long. Willy was so happy with Biff, and they would never get into fights. Now, the only thing they do is fight. What went wrong? On the other hand Happy and Willy were never as good of friends as Biff and him were. Anyways, after Willy had went to meet the boys for dinner something went terribly wrong. Willy came home in a dreadful state of mind, but I don’t know what happened. He went outside and tried planting seeds, but I do not get why. Finally, when the boys got home they acted like nothing happened. They had left him at the restaurant in this wrong state of mind, leaving him with nothing. The boys left him for some women! That’s all they care about; they don’t care about their father and how much they are hurting him. However, Biff thinks he is a horrible kid, and he has done so much wrong. Biff explains that he is going to leave because it seems the only way to make things better for Willy, and I agree with him. Biff tries to make amends with Willy, but he turns around and gets mad at him. Willy will not shake his had and make things better; he just gets mad at Biff for trying to do this. Biff goes through a list of things he did wrong, and tells them all to Willy, but Willy thinks Biff is trying to blame him. After this entire event Biff breaks down and cries, and Willy finally realizes that Biff has loved him all along; even though, Willy thought he truly didn’t. Willy is relived his son has loved him his whole life, but then why does he go make the mistake he does. Why does Willy go kill himself in a car crash? The day of his funeral was the last payment on the house, and now we were finally free! He left this house to me, to live in for the rest of my life alone!

  13. Dad seemed to be getting better, after I broke down and told him how I really feel he seemed to come around a little bit. I can’t believe we almost ruined it when Happy and I left him alone at the restaurant; things were going so well as we dreamt of the Loman Brothers business. It was nice to see dad back to his old self, I really thought we were going to make it big with our store, The Loman Brothers. I can’t believe that Dad would do that, it had to be an accident he seemed so much happier. Pop deserved so much better then this . . . first he loses his salary and gets paid on commission like some no named beginner, then he gets laid off completely, to top it all off I disappointed him at the restaurant. Gee, and it sure is hard to see Pal like this. She loved him dearly, if only she actually knew what Willy did behind her back. I have to tell her, she has a right to know the truth now. On second thought, its better left alone, she has been through enough already and I don’t want to trouble her any further. Hap seems so angry too, I don’t know what has got him all bent out of shape. It is getting dark out; I should help Ma get home. Hap doesn’t want to come with me out west to work; he is still set on starting our business here. It’s a crazy idea, The Loman Brothers, ha! I’ve made up my mind, I am moving away with all my memories and secrets and I will start over and make a name somewhere else. I can’t handle staying around here any longer, I long to be out in the sun with my shirt off working the land. Hap can suit himself; if I am going to be successful I can’t wait for anybody any more. I’ll move out west, build a house, and find myself a nice woman to settle down with. Maybe when I strike it big I can come back and help Ma out, buy her a new fridge and get her a new car. She was so forgiving and tolerant that she deserves the world from me and Hap. First thing in the morning, I’ll try to convince Hap one more time to come with then I am leaving for good.

  14. After the horrible death of my father, finally, I am coming to understand why exactly it is that he was acting so strangely, almost as if he were a different person. When my brother and I moved out to take on the world, he had such high expectations for us, mainly for me having so many options to choose from. He, as a man, was very successful; yet, always wanted more or better for us and when we came home after a long time away he became very disappointed to find I was jobless and his supposed “less fortunate” son, Happy, was living a successful life. That for Willy Loman was the turning point in life, where all his hopes and dreams pulled a 180 on him and hit like a sucker punch. Soon after all his dreams sadly turned on him, he according to my mom, Linda, started becoming suicidal getting into car accidents on purpose and acting almost as if in a stage of deep depression that threw me and the rest of the family off track. I did not understand why exactly it was that he always seemed so disappointed or disgusted with me, and how I was living my life but now it is clear. He just wanted better for me than what he had and expected it with all the wonderful choices I had to pick from. When I showed a sign of success and told him I was to go and get a good job he was happy, relieving a lot of stress that had built up over the times of confusion, and it felt good. Now I can say that I do, in fact, feel free of that stress because he can no longer breathe down my back. Don’t get me wrong I will miss him a lot, but things should only be easier from here on out for everyone.

  15. Tears continue to flood my eyes. To see the way Willy and the boys fight, it just hurts. I try to make a descent home and care for them, but nothing can bring them together. I thought it all had turned around when Biff finally decided to attempt to talk with Oliver. Following in the footsteps of his father, it made Willy and me so proud! He just wanted the best for Biff, that’s all he wanted. After the way that Biff and Happy just left him at the restaurant all by himself because they had found some girls, I never thought it would end up this way. I expected Willy to be upset and confused, but I didn’t think that his sons could drive him to do this. Maybe they didn’t drive him to do it, or maybe it was because he did not know what else to do, or maybe it was because he was just tired…who knows? I know he constantly lied to me about his income and such. Maybe it was his fate…to die because he was such a liar to our family and me. Or maybe it was punishment for teaching his children to become the same way? It was hard to see the change that Biff was trying to make when all Willy wanted was for Biff and Happy to be just like him—a salesman, only be successful ones. He always tried to please everyone and never thought before he just flat out lied through his teeth… That was his key to success. Lie until you get to the top, please people until you get to the top, do whatever it takes because being on top is being successful. That is all Happy and Biff know. Then for Biff to just whip out the rubber hose in front of him and watch Willy lie to all of us about seeing it, using it, or touching it…it was so unnecessary for Biff to do that. Who would openly admit to their family that they tried committing suicide? I mean, I knew from all of the car accidents and what not, but I would have never asked Willy about it openly in front of my children. Maybe that is what made him commit suicide…people knowing that he tried to before and so they thought that he would eventually anyways…or maybe it is because he realized that he was not successful, thus he was not bringing in any income for our family to live off of? Or maybe it was because he was not close with the boys…Biff was always the one getting the attention. But then Willy became a salesman on the road, he missed some of the crucial points in their life. Biff was just like his father, lied to keep people happy. Who would have ever thought that Biff was in jail? That is what drove Willy to commit suicide…his sons were turning out to be just like him…liars. Except Willy couldn’t accept that Biff didn’t want to be like that anymore. His car wreck to commit suicide follows the pattern of all of the other past car accidents. Oh, how sad it is! Why did Willy have to die? He was such a good father and husband!

  16. Seeing Biff and Happy getting ready and leaving together was so nice, I still can’t get over the smell of the shaving lotion. I hope they have fun because I feel so bad for Biff and the things Willy puts him through. It not his fault he isn’t very successful he tries but Willy just pushes him so much. Willy yelled at me again for mending my stockings, but everything keeps breaking we can not afford to fix the broken appliances and always buy new stockings. Biff and Happy met Willy at a restaurant tonight and while Willy was in the bathroom Biff and Happy just left with the girls. How could they just leave him there by himself? They know how angry he gets and they just don’t care if he lives or dies. They brought me flowers home and all I could do was throw them on the floor and yell at them. I told them to get out of my sight and never come back. I am tired of being their maid they never pick up after themselves. They are old enough to know better but they still act like they are in high school. They lied to me and told me that he had a great time with them but to me they are just animals a real human being would never walk out on somebody in a public place and leave them there by themselves. All Biff wanted to do was talk to Willy or “the boss” as he calls him but I couldn’t let him do that I didn’t want Willy hurt or humiliated anymore. He was finally happy outside planting his garden in the middle of the night. Willy was so angry with the boys. He yelled at Biff and told him he doesn’t want to be bothered. Biff said he was going to leave in the morning but when morning came he told us why he didn’t have an address for three months it was because he stole a suit in Kansas City and he was put in jail. My oldest son in jail…. all I could do was cry. I kept calling him up to bed it was getting late. I called for him so many times but I didn’t get an answer. I worried and all I heard was the car driving away so fast. Nobody came to his funeral. It was a very nice funeral but nobody came. I don’t understand he said he was well liked. I couldn’t cry. I didn’t know why. I am finally free.

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