Strategies for Bullying Prevention and Intervention for Parents Bruce Van Stone

1. Strategies for Bullying Prevention and Intervention for Parents Bruce Van Stone Department of Education and Early Childhood Development October 28th, 2013 Barkers Point School

2. A Little About Me • Learning Specialist-Bullying Awareness and Prevention-Department of Education. • Policies, programs, protocols relating to positive learning environments, bullying prevention/intervention. • All Anglophone Schools in NB.

3. Quick Highlights • Parent Guide created. • DEC sponsored PSSC presentations. • PLWE working group (many parents giving input). • Parent video clips.

4. Your Role is Key • You, as parents, have the most important role and influence on your child’s lives. • What you say and do is observed and modelled.

5. Trivia-What Do We Already Know? http://www.education.com/quiz/bullying-myths/

6. Definition of Bullying • Behavior that is intentional, hurtful, involves a power imbalance (perceived or real) and is often repeated by one or more persons. • Includes those students who encourage or assist in the bullying behaviour. • Main types are physical, verbal, social and cyber.

7. Bullying vs Conflict • An estimated 75% of incidents reported to administrators are in fact conflict and not bullying. • Bullying involves a power imbalance, based on social status, size, age, etc. Conflict does not. • Bullying is always negative. Conflict can be both positive and negative. • Bullying involves intentionally harming the victim while conflict does not. • Bullying incidents should always be reported to the school while conflict should be addressed by the students themselves if possible.

8. Facts About Bullying Fact-Bullying is serious misconduct. Solution-Recognizing that fact, educators and parents need to respond to it in a timely and effective manner when an incident does occur.

9. Facts About Bullying Fact-Reporting bullying is an effective way to stop it. Solution- Children need to be encouraged to report bullying and be given multiple strategies on how to make these reports. Parents must create a comfortable and supportive home environment so that young people will feel open to sharing with them.

10. Facts About Bullying Fact-Schools that have efficient communication with students, staff and parents have better success in preventing and intervening in bullying situations. Solution-Ensure you communicate openly and neutrally with members of your child’s school.

11. New Study-University of Ottawa • Study shows how ongoing, chronic bullying can result in physiological changes in the brain, much like neglect does. • Study shows that chronic bullying possibly can lead to memory change, loss of focus and concentration and loss of impulse control. • Repeated bullying, according to the study, can result in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

12. Signs to Look For-Targets • Isolated socially. • Afraid to go to school and anxiety at school. • Shows physical mannerisms associated with depression. • Low self-esteem and makes negative comments. • Lower interest in activities and lower performance at school. • Loses things, needs money, reports being hungry after school. • Injuries, bruising, damaged clothing or articles. • Appears unhappy, irritable.

13. Signs to Look For-Perpetrators • Quicker to anger and sooner to use force than others. • Tend to have little empathy for the problems of other people. • Chronically repeats aggressive behaviors. • Has friends who bully and are aggressive. • Has unexplained objects, possessions. • Likes to be in control of situations. • Deflects blame on to others. • Often shows signs of being bullied/harmed as well.

14. Using Discipline vs Punishment • Discipline is not judgmental or coercive. It is not something we do to students, but involves working with them to find positive solutions. • It’s goal is to instruct, guide and help students develop self-discipline. • Punishment imposes power from without, can arouse anger and resentment and often invites more conflict. It does something to a student and rarely changes behaviour. • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTeYncx1xmI

15. Using Discipline-Continued • Discipline does four things that punishment cannot do: • Shows students what they have done. • Gives them as much ownership of the problem as they are capable of handling. • Gives them options for solving the problem. • Leaves students with their dignity intact (no anger, resentment carried forward). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQU3EphIpMY

16. Strategies to Use if Your Child is a Target • Start the conversation. Children are not likely to confide in parents about something as hurtful and embarrassing as bullying, unless they know they will have a receptive audience. Talk often and openly with your child. • Encourage new friendships. Positive friendships in different settings can often minimize the effects of bullying. Encourage your child to enroll in sports, lessons, camps or other activities away from school so he/she can experience different friendships. • Build confidence. Practice social skills with them, such as looking people in the eye, standing up straight and talking assertively.

17. More Strategies For Parents • Make your home “child-friendly”, if your child and his/her friends feel comfortable hanging out at home, you will be able to assess whether the friendships are healthy and positive. • Stand up for your child. Adult intervention stops bullying. It is a parent’s job to protect their child, whether they are in pre-school or high school. • Treat bullying incidents seriously – talk with your child’s teachers, other adults in his/her life and other parents; it is important that adults work together to teach children positive relationship skills.

18. What If Your Child Is Bullying Others? • Establish – and enforce – consequences. Children who bully need to be aware of the severe and long-lasting effects of their behaviour, and that actions have consequences. • Examine your child’s behaviour – and your own. In order to understand how to intervene and whetheryou need outside support or counselling, ask yourself the following questions: How does my child deal with conflict, anger or frustration? Does my child have attitudes that support the use of aggression? Are his/her friendships positive? As well, do you routinely yell, act aggressively or use your power to intimidate others?

19. Conclusion • Bullying can have lasting impacts (crumpled paper activity). • Communication between students, staff and parents is key in terms of addressing bullying. • Be there for your child without judging them. • We all care about the rights and needs of our children, so all of us need to work together to make sure those rights and needs are met.

20. Questions • Do you have any questions at this time?