19 th January

1. LO: Can I Improve a piece of writing? Writing skills 19th January • Steps to success: • Understand how you are assessed • Apply the mark scheme to a piece of writing • Identify ways in which the writing can be improved Starter What do you need to include to make your writing effective in the exam

2. LO: Can I Improve a piece of writing? Writing skills 19th January Amina Sajida Shunara Akhiya Ragia Rubia Tanya Hanifa Sadia Fahmida Rema Tanzila Bykisa Nahida Houda Nazmin Rujina Yasmin Sharika Aniqa 1 Punctuation Nazmin Tanzila Sharika Shunara Ragia Vocabulary Aniqa Akhiya Rubia Houda Fahmida Paragraphs Sajida Bykisa Rujina Tanya Rema Sentences Hanifa Nahida Rujina Anima Sadia 2

3. LO: Can I Improve a piece of writing? In your groups you have sentences from the marking criteria which relate to grades D, C and B (vocabulary you also have A). 1. Can you work out as a group which sentence relates to which grade? 2. What are the important words in each sentence? Do you know the meaning of these words?

4. LO: Can I Improve a piece of writing? Which type of words relate to:

5. LO: Can I Improve a piece of writing? Write a letter to your local newspaper arguing for or against a recent proposal to build a Zoo in your local area. I think it is a good idea to build a zoo in the area. I have lots of reasons why I think this. Building a zoo would help to make the area more popular tourists would come so businesses would get more money and local children would be able to go to the zoo to see all the animals. It might also be good for school children to see the animals. Some people might say that the zoo would smell but this is not really a big problem. Also some people might say that the zoo will cost a lot of money and it should be spent on something better but that’s ridiculous all the money will be earned back when people come to visit it and pay to get in. Lots of animals are dying out and zoos try to stop this by mating animals. A giant panda at London zoo just gave birth and this helps to make sure that people in the future can still learn about animals which are rare. In conclusion it would be good to have a zoo in the area and lots of people in the area would agree with me and it that it should be built.

6. LO: Can I Improve a piece of writing? • What grade would you give the answer based JUST on your topic? • Why does it not get the next grade up? Write a letter to your local newspaper arguing for or against a recent proposal to build a Zoo in your local area. I think it is a good idea to build a zoo in the area. I have lots of reasons why I think this. Building a zoo would help to make the area more popular tourists would come so businesses would get more money and local children would be able to go to the zoo to see all the animals. It might also be good for school children to see the animals. Some people might say that the zoo would smell but this is not really a big problem. Also some people might say that the zoo will cost a lot of money and it should be spent on something better but that’s ridiculous all the money will be earned back when people come to visit it and pay to get in. Lots of animals are dying out and zoos try to stop this by mating animals. A giant panda at London zoo just gave birth and this helps to make sure that people in the future can still learn about animals which are rare. In conclusion it would be good to have a zoo in the area and lots of people in the area would agree with me and it that it should be built.

7. LO: Can I Improve a piece of writing? • Vocabulary • What grade would you give the answer based JUST on your topic? • Why does it not get the next grade up? • Can you see words or phrases which you think could be improved? • What words or phrases would you use instead? • Why have you chosen these words? • What do you need to remember when thinking about what vocabulary • to use?

8. LO: Can I Improve a piece of writing? Vocabulary

9. LO: Can I Improve a piece of writing? Write a letter to your local newspaper arguing for or against a recent proposal to build a Zoo in your local area. I think it is a good idea to build a zoo in the area. I have lots of reasons why I think this. Building a zoo would help to make the area more popular tourists would come so businesses would get more money and local children would be able to go to the zoo to see all the animals. It might also be good for school children to see the animals. Some people might say that the zoo would smell but this is not really a big problem. Also some people might say that the zoo will cost a lot of money and it should be spent on something better but that’s ridiculous all the money will be earned back when people come to visit it and pay to get in. Lots of animals are dying out and zoos try to stop this by mating animals. A giant panda at London zoo just gave birth and this helps to make sure that people in the future can still learn about animals which are rare. In conclusion it would be good to have a zoo in the area and lots of people in the area would agree with me and it that it should be built. • Vocabulary • What grade would you give the answer based JUST on your topic? • Why does it not get the next grade up? • Can you see words or phrases which you think could be improved? (highlight them) • What words or phrases would you use instead? • Why have you chosen these words? • What do you need to remember when thinking about what vocabulary • to use?

10. LO: Can I Improve a piece of writing? • Paragraphing • What grade would you give the answer based JUST on your topic? • Why does it not get the next grade up? • Can you decide on the topic for 3 paragraphs (not including introduction or conclusion) • What would you need to add to each paragraph? • Why would you need to add these things? • What do you need to remember about how to create effective • Paragraphs?

11. LO: Can I Improve a piece of writing? Paragraphing

12. LO: Can I Improve a piece of writing? • Paragraphing • What grade would you give the answer based JUST on your topic? • Why does it not get the next grade up? • Can you decide on the topic for 3 paragraphs (not including introduction or conclusion) make a note. • What would you need to add to each paragraph? • Why would you need to add these things? • What do you need to remember about how to create effective • Paragraphs? Write a letter to your local newspaper arguing for or against a recent proposal to build a Zoo in your local area. I think it is a good idea to build a zoo in the area. I have lots of reasons why I think this. Building a zoo would help to make the area more popular tourists would come so businesses would get more money and local children would be able to go to the zoo to see all the animals. It might also be good for school children to see the animals. Some people might say that the zoo would smell but this is not really a big problem. Also some people might say that the zoo will cost a lot of money and it should be spent on something better but that’s ridiculous all the money will be earned back when people come to visit it and pay to get in. Lots of animals are dying out and zoos try to stop this by mating animals. A giant panda at London zoo just gave birth and this helps to make sure that people in the future can still learn about animals which are rare. In conclusion it would be good to have a zoo in the area and lots of people in the area would agree with me and it that it should be built.

13. LO: Can I Improve a piece of writing? • Sentences • What grade would you give the answer based JUST on your topic? • Why does it not get the next grade up? • Can you see sentences which you think could be developed? • How would you develop these sentences? • How do these sentences improve the writing? • What do you need to remember about sentences when writing?

14. LO: Can I Improve a piece of writing? Sentences

15. LO: Can I Improve a piece of writing? Write a letter to your local newspaper arguing for or against a recent proposal to build a Zoo in your local area. I think it is a good idea to build a zoo in the area. I have lots of reasons why I think this. Building a zoo would help to make the area more popular tourists would come so businesses would get more money and local children would be able to go to the zoo to see all the animals. It might also be good for school children to see the animals. Some people might say that the zoo would smell but this is not really a big problem. Also some people might say that the zoo will cost a lot of money and it should be spent on something better but that’s ridiculous all the money will be earned back when people come to visit it and pay to get in. Lots of animals are dying out and zoos try to stop this by mating animals. A giant panda at London zoo just gave birth and this helps to make sure that people in the future can still learn about animals which are rare. In conclusion it would be good to have a zoo in the area and lots of people in the area would agree with me and it that it should be built. • Sentences • What grade would you give the answer based JUST on your topic? • Why does it not get the next grade up? • Can you see sentences which you think could be developed? (highlight these) • How would you develop these sentences? (make some notes of ideas) • How do these sentences improve the writing? • What do you need to remember about sentences when writing?

16. LO: Can I Improve a piece of writing? • Punctuation • What grade would you give the answer based JUST on your topic? • Why does it not get the next grade up? • Can you any see any places where more punctuation could be used? • How does punctuation improve the writing? • What do you need to remember when thinking about what vocabulary • to use?

17. LO: Can I Improve a piece of writing? Punctuation

18. LO: Can I Improve a piece of writing? Write a letter to your local newspaper arguing for or against a recent proposal to build a Zoo in your local area. I think it is a good idea to build a zoo in the area. I have lots of reasons why I think this. Building a zoo would help to make the area more popular tourists would come so businesses would get more money and local children would be able to go to the zoo to see all the animals. It might also be good for school children to see the animals. Some people might say that the zoo would smell but this is not really a big problem. Also some people might say that the zoo will cost a lot of money and it should be spent on something better but that’s ridiculous all the money will be earned back when people come to visit it and pay to get in. Lots of animals are dying out and zoos try to stop this by mating animals. A giant panda at London zoo just gave birth and this helps to make sure that people in the future can still learn about animals which are rare. In conclusion it would be good to have a zoo in the area and lots of people in the area would agree with me and it that it should be built. • Punctuation • What grade would you give the answer based JUST on your topic? • Why does it not get the next grade up? • Can you any see any places where more punctuation could be used? (mark this on the writing) • How does punctuation improve the writing? • What do you need to remember when thinking about what • vocabulary to use?

19. LO: Can I Improve a piece of writing? • Move back to your usual groups and share what you have learnt • As a group make a list of points to remember at the top of your piece of sugar paper about: • Sentences • Vocabulary • Paragraphing • Punctuation • No more than one sentence on each!

20. LO: Can I Improve a piece of writing? What do you need to include to make your writing effective in the exam? Sentences should be… Vocabulary should be… Paragraphs should be… Punctuation should be…