Practically 'safe': online help to develop professional skills

1. Practically 'safe': online help to develop professional skills Suzie Savvidou, Martha Kelpi, Efrosini Kalyva & Angelos Rodafinos Psychology Department, CITY College The International Faculty of the University of Sheffield

2. PART A: The rationale

3. The need for online counseling at CITY College • Master students need experience in a safe mode • Many of them don’t speak Greek-therefore cannot practice in a Greek clinical setting

4. Online counseling • Counseling taking place through: • Emails • Chat room

5. Why people prefer online counseling http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zLTfCIcXCM&feature=related

6. People choose online vs face to face counseling

7. Geographical reasons: • They live in remote areas • They live in less remote areas, but few counselors are available

8. Practical reasons Mobility problems Responsibility over children or old people

9. Emotional reasons E.g. they find it easier to talk about sensitive issues, when anonymously they avoid stigmatization

10. Disadvantages some problems cannot be resolved online confidentiality cannot be guaranteed over the internet online therapy is relatively new - although writing as a form of support is not new - and so it's still in its infancy as a form of therapy

11. PARTB: The procedures

12. The director Supervisors Coordinator Supervisors The clients The clients The counselors The clients The clients The clients

13. The training 6 sessions (2hour) with the basics of online counseling 12 supervised answers to past letters

14. The letter cycle The counselors answer and send the letter back to the coordinator

15. Types of problems

16. Dear… I saw yourE-mail address in a magazine for women and I decided to write to you. Now I am feeling a bit happier hoping that I will maybe get the solution to this problem..… I am very depressed and desperate because we livetogether with mother and brother of my husband. My husband and I have a daughter and we all live together in a three-room flat. We have beenliving together for almost seven years. The problem is the relationshipwith brother and mother of my husband. They have never wanted to accept me and never loved me.... After a week brother-in-law screamed to me and attacked me when husband was not at home. ... I still think of what happened and I can not concentrate on my work and I live underpressure. It is so hard for me to live in this house that I can notdescribe. My biggest wish is to move to somewhere else but husbanddoes not want even to talk about it because of the financialsituation. I think he does not understand me. I think about divorcesince 2002 and I do not have courage and strength to do it although Iwould like it most of all. I do not talk to mother and brother ofhusband because they are very difficult people and because they hurtme very much. ... They never wanted to say hello to me or ask me something. When my family comes tovisit us they do not say hello to them although my parents say GoodAfternoon when entering the room. I feel very guilty about all this. A real example

17. I am frightened here andI am afraid of living here for brother-in-law is very severe andviolent and I am afraid of him very much. • I am so much afraid of himthat I dare not to come to kitchen when he is there though I have toprepare food for a daughter. Husband does not understand me at all and here is no point talking to him about this. • I am alone and I can not solve this problem by myself so I decided to write to you. • Do you think I should get divorced and move to another place? How do you think will I be able to live without husband?I hope you will answer me soon.Thank you in advance. Faithfully yours, VS

18. Errors in the answers • Dear VS, • By what you are telling me, I can see indeed that your situation is difficult and that you are having a hard time living with your husband’s mother and brother. From your letter, I can also deduce that the effects of this cohabiting are only harmful feelings like fear, desperation and guilt, all reflecting negatively on your personal and professional functioning. • In deciding what you are going to do, that you think very well at how your mother –in-law and brother-in-law affect your life

19. Feedback to common errors Dear VS, Here you should tell her something to warm up the climate. The way you start though sounds as if you rush going too directly to the problem. You could instead say something warm instead and then move to assessing the problem. E.g. Thank you for writing to us… By what you are telling me, I can see indeed that your situation is avoid exaggerating or even being realistic with how difficult the problem is and focus more on what can be done-expressions like TOO difficult or VERY should be avoided difficult and that you are having a hard time living with your husband’s mother and brother. From your letter, I can also deduce that the effects of this cohabiting are only harmful feelings like fear, desperation and guilt, all reflecting negatively on your personal and professional functioning. In deciding what you are going to do, Avoid expressions like I WOULD SUGGEST. It does not fit with your role. You are a counselor but you are not telling them what to do-you only help them see what would be best for you-so instead of saying I WOULD SUGGEST you can say ‘I was wondering if you have appraised the effect of you mother-in law’-. Don’t sound like in a power position! that you think very well at how your mother –in-law and brother-in-law affect your life

20. This would allow you to relax and think clear about your future. • Another problem that you talk about concerns your husband I think you should make her think first how the quality of the relationship with her husband has led things to where they are-I think that’s where the problems start from: if they face such problems with the family, what position does the husband take? Passive? Why is that? Probably the relationship with him is not good at all, the family members know about it, and that’s why they treat her like this-assumptions, but you have to explore with indirect questioning who is indifferent to your pain

21. As for whether you can live without your husband or not, my answer is yes, concentrate on her and not on your thoughts by asking what is this that she is getting from him that she thinks would prevent her from living without him. Is it love? (I don’t think so) is it dependence? (more possible). Remember that as a counselor you are likely to come across not only normal problems but psychopathology too! Explore whether she has features of a dependent personality. If you don’t’ remember enough, please get an abnormal psychology book and read about personality disorders cluster c (dependent). You may get there an idea of why many people like to depend on others even when the quality of the relationship is not good. think you can find the strength and courage to do so.

22. In saying this, I think about the many cases of divorced women and single mothers who have made it on their own, especially if they had the support of their parents and friends. Rephrase it in a way that shows how realistic it is to expect coping on your own when you have people around you to support you. If this does not make her optimistic then there is something else which is problematic and you are not aware of-it might be either parts of the problems or her pessimistic way of thinking-motivate her to think about it!

23. Our view A safe environment to practice Familiarizes students with the use of computers on a daily basis What ehelp can offer Students’ view • Gives them a extra asset for their CV’s • Addresses their motivation and suitability for counseling

24. Issues to consider The idea of e-help can be used in other contexts: • Peer consulting in business, programming, web related issues etc

25. BUT… • Feedback needs to be smoother than usual and much more motivating • Supervision requires continuous learning of several issues in your own area • Inadequacy for dealing with a particular case/client needs to be realized and made explicit • Promotion needs to be in line with your resources (demand may increase too sharply if people find it popular)