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STRESS. Happens. To Everyone. Lee Hotchkiss. BARNABAS INTERNATIONAL. www.barnabas.org. STRESS. HAPPENS. When events are . Beyond our Control. A Stressful Event Can be Anything That is Beyond Our Control. Other Peoples’ Behavior. work. Health Issues. misunderstandings.
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STRESS Happens To Everyone Lee Hotchkiss BARNABAS INTERNATIONAL www.barnabas.org
STRESS HAPPENS When events are Beyond our Control
A Stressful Event Can be Anything That is Beyond Our Control
Other Peoples’Behavior work Health Issues misunderstandings Common Events Little Frustrations The Computer money
Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts Event
Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts Event
Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts Lose Control 1 Event
Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts Lose Control 1 Negative Feelings Event
Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts Lose Control 1 Negative Feelings Event Self Esteem Drops
Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts Lose Control 1 Negative Feelings Event Relationships Self Esteem Deteriorate Drops
Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts Lose Control 1 Try Negative Harder Feelings Event Relationships Self Esteem Deteriorate Drops
Biblical Tools for Stress Management Keeping God at the Center of Life
Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts Lose Control 1 Try Negative Harder Feelings Event Relationships Self Esteem Deteriorate Drops
Pray: Acknowledge and Submit to God’s Sovereign Control Over All Events Proverbs 3:5-6, Philippians 4:6, Luke 22:42
Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts Lose Control 1 Try Negative Harder Feelings Event Relationships Self Esteem Deteriorate Drops
Three Strategies for Managing Feelings 1. Do What is Right
Three Strategies for Managing Feelings 1. Do What is Right Are there behaviors that need to change? Genesis 4:6-7
Three Strategies for Managing Feelings 2. Be honest with feelings
Three Strategies for Managing Feelings 2. Be honest with feelings Are there feelings that need to be shared? Psalm 62:8, 142:1-4, 55:22
Three Strategies for Managing Feelings 3. Tell yourself the truth
Three Strategies for Managing Feelings 3. Tell yourself the truth Are there thoughts that need to be challenged? Philippians 4:8
Three Strategies for Managing Feelings 1. Do what is right 2. Be honest with feelings 3. Tell yourself the truth
Three Strategies for Managing Feelings 1. THINKING - HEAD 2. FEELING - HEART 3. DOING - HANDS
Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts Lose Control 1 Try Negative Harder Feelings Event Relationships Self Esteem Deteriorate Drops
Strategies for Managing Self-Concept
PhysicalAppearance Possessions Performance Professions Position Power
“Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.” Romans 3:20 Law Sin
Grace Law Sin
Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts Lose Control 1 Try Negative Harder Feelings Event Relationships Self Esteem Deteriorate Drops
Building Godly Relationships Through: 1. COMMITMENT 2. COMMUNICATION 3. CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Building Godly Relationships Through: 1. COMMITMENT to WORKING TOGETHER
COOPERATION • RETALIATION • DOMINATION • ISOLATION
Building Godly Relationships Through: 2. COMMUNICATION at HEAD and HEART levels
COMMUNICATION Share • BONDING at the HEART Level Care Connecting Emotionally
COMMUNICATION • CONNECTING at the HEAD Level Sharing Ideas & Sharpening Thoughts Proverbs 27:17
Thinking Level Reality Testing Sharing Hearing of Person 1 Person 2 & Ideas Responding Feeling Level Sharing & Caring Sharing Caring of Person 1 Person 2 for Feelings Feelings
Thinking Head Level Person 2 Person 1 Feeling Heart Level
ESTABLISHING BOUNDARIES Isolation Enmeshment Distance Silence Coldness Uncooperative Dependency Co-dependency Control Manipulation
ESTABLISHING BOUNDARIES ( ) Isolation Enmeshment Interdependency
Building Godly Relationships Through: 3. CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Strategies for • Conflict Resolution • Distinguish between • THINKING and FEELING • levels of communication
Thinking Level Strategies • Clarify. Don’t assume you know what the other person is thinking. Listen to what they are saying. Keep communication open. Ask questions. Draw out his • or her thoughts.
Thinking Level Strategies 2. Don’t attribute motives to the other person.
Thinking Level Strategies 3. Negotiate. Compromise. Collaborate. Accommodate.
Thinking Level Strategies 4. Agree to disagree. Reaffirm your commitment to the person and your relationship with them. Say, “I respect you, and I want to retain a good relationship with you, I don’t want this to come between us. I respect your opinion. Let’s agree to disagree.”