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Lee Hotchkiss

STRESS. Happens. To Everyone. Lee Hotchkiss. BARNABAS INTERNATIONAL. www.barnabas.org. STRESS. HAPPENS. When events are . Beyond our Control. A Stressful Event Can be Anything That is Beyond Our Control. Other Peoples’ Behavior. work. Health Issues. misunderstandings.

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Lee Hotchkiss

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  1. STRESS Happens To Everyone Lee Hotchkiss BARNABAS INTERNATIONAL www.barnabas.org

  2. STRESS HAPPENS When events are Beyond our Control

  3. A Stressful Event Can be Anything That is Beyond Our Control

  4. Other Peoples’Behavior work Health Issues misunderstandings Common Events Little Frustrations The Computer money

  5. Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts Event

  6. Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts Event

  7. Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts Lose Control 1 Event

  8. Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts Lose Control 1 Negative Feelings Event

  9. Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts Lose Control 1 Negative Feelings Event Self Esteem Drops

  10. Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts Lose Control 1 Negative Feelings Event Relationships Self Esteem Deteriorate Drops

  11. Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts Lose Control 1 Try Negative Harder Feelings Event Relationships Self Esteem Deteriorate Drops

  12. Biblical Tools for Stress Management Keeping God at the Center of Life

  13. Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts Lose Control 1 Try Negative Harder Feelings Event Relationships Self Esteem Deteriorate Drops

  14. Pray: Acknowledge and Submit to God’s Sovereign Control Over All Events Proverbs 3:5-6, Philippians 4:6, Luke 22:42

  15. Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts Lose Control 1 Try Negative Harder Feelings Event Relationships Self Esteem Deteriorate Drops

  16. Three Strategies for Managing Feelings

  17. Three Strategies for Managing Feelings 1. Do What is Right

  18. Three Strategies for Managing Feelings 1. Do What is Right Are there behaviors that need to change? Genesis 4:6-7

  19. Three Strategies for Managing Feelings 2. Be honest with feelings

  20. Three Strategies for Managing Feelings 2. Be honest with feelings Are there feelings that need to be shared? Psalm 62:8, 142:1-4, 55:22

  21. Three Strategies for Managing Feelings 3. Tell yourself the truth

  22. Three Strategies for Managing Feelings 3. Tell yourself the truth Are there thoughts that need to be challenged? Philippians 4:8

  23. Three Strategies for Managing Feelings 1. Do what is right 2. Be honest with feelings 3. Tell yourself the truth

  24. Three Strategies for Managing Feelings 1. THINKING - HEAD 2. FEELING - HEART 3. DOING - HANDS

  25. Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts Lose Control 1 Try Negative Harder Feelings Event Relationships Self Esteem Deteriorate Drops

  26. Strategies for Managing Self-Concept

  27. PhysicalAppearance Possessions Performance Professions Position Power

  28. Grace

  29. Law

  30. “Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin.” Romans 3:20 Law Sin

  31. Grace Law Sin

  32. Grace

  33. Values Expectations Perceptions/Thoughts Lose Control 1 Try Negative Harder Feelings Event Relationships Self Esteem Deteriorate Drops

  34. Building Godly Relationships Through: 1. COMMITMENT 2. COMMUNICATION 3. CONFLICT RESOLUTION

  35. Building Godly Relationships Through: 1. COMMITMENT to WORKING TOGETHER

  36. COOPERATION • RETALIATION • DOMINATION • ISOLATION

  37. Building Godly Relationships Through: 2. COMMUNICATION at HEAD and HEART levels

  38. COMMUNICATION Share • BONDING at the HEART Level Care Connecting Emotionally

  39. COMMUNICATION • CONNECTING at the HEAD Level Sharing Ideas & Sharpening Thoughts Proverbs 27:17

  40. Thinking Level Reality Testing Sharing Hearing of Person 1 Person 2 & Ideas Responding Feeling Level Sharing & Caring Sharing Caring of Person 1 Person 2 for Feelings Feelings

  41. Thinking Head Level Person 2 Person 1 Feeling Heart Level

  42. ESTABLISHING BOUNDARIES Isolation Enmeshment Distance Silence Coldness Uncooperative Dependency Co-dependency Control Manipulation

  43. ESTABLISHING BOUNDARIES ( ) Isolation Enmeshment Interdependency

  44. Building Godly Relationships Through: 3. CONFLICT RESOLUTION

  45. Strategies for • Conflict Resolution • Distinguish between • THINKING and FEELING • levels of communication

  46. Thinking Level Strategies • Clarify. Don’t assume you know what the other person is thinking. Listen to what they are saying. Keep communication open. Ask questions. Draw out his • or her thoughts.

  47. Thinking Level Strategies 2. Don’t attribute motives to the other person.

  48. Thinking Level Strategies 3. Negotiate. Compromise. Collaborate. Accommodate.

  49. Thinking Level Strategies 4. Agree to disagree. Reaffirm your commitment to the person and your relationship with them. Say, “I respect you, and I want to retain a good relationship with you, I don’t want this to come between us. I respect your opinion. Let’s agree to disagree.”

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