Abstract

1. As parents of young children bring a new infant into the family, they are often doubtful of their ability to develop a healthy attachment relationship with the infant, while meeting the needs of their young child, and, at the same time, fostering the development of a close and nurturing sibling relationship. To explore these concerns, the facilitator developed a discussion guide and facilitated a six-week lecture/discussion group for parents who have or are going to have a new baby. Upon conclusion of the discussion group, the facilitator revised the lecture/discussion guide. Abstract Objectives A group of nine preschool mothers who had a young baby or were expecting a new baby were invited to join a lecture/discussion group. The group of participating mothers was culturally and educationally diverse and included mothers who worked outside the home and those who did not. This diversity led to interesting discussions, mutual respect, and positive connections between parents. Anticipated questions and concerns facing these parents were identified. Information on attachment, attunement, and self-regulation was researched, and a preliminary outline of mini-lectures and discussion questions was developed. Six bi-weekly facilitated lecture/discussion sessions with the nine mothers were conducted. After each discussion session, the session was evaluated and specific suggestions for improvement were noted. At the conclusion of the sessions, an evaluation survey provided written feedback from participating mothers. Based on all evaluation data, the lecture/discussion guide was revised. The revised lecture/discussion group guide is presented here. Materials and Methods Mothers have significant concerns about successfully meeting the needs of young children and babies. Parents often feel confused, frustrated, and unable to help their young child understand and manage their intense feelings surrounding the birth of a sibling. After the birth of a second baby, mothers missed the special bond they felt with their older child. The parents of infants in the trial discussion group all seemed to have strong attachment bonds with the babies. Greater emphasis on the topic of self-regulation for infants and preschoolers would have been appropriate for this particular group. The pregnant mothers appreciated the guidance and advice offered by the mothers who had already given birth to their second or third child. As the discussion group unfolded, the facilitator realized that she had neglected to include sessions discussing the influence of families of origin. This was a serious omission. Subsequently the lecture/discussion guide was revised to include sessions to explore this topic. Results Conclusions Parents want and need information and support as they bring a second or third child into the family. They struggle to meet the needs of all their children, and often feel they are short-changing one child or the other. They also strive to foster a healthy relationship between the children and need opportunities to explore their new family configuration. As one mother commented, “ I thought I was ready for the second baby. I had the car seat and the baby clothes, and after all, I had already done this before. But I was not ready for the shift in the dynamics of our family. The new dynamic was the game changer for me. It was like adding a third child to the family.” A facilitated lecture/discussion group offers these parents information, connection, and support, and helps to ease this family transition. The revised lecture/discussion group outline offered here provides guidelines for facilitators in any setting where parents are bringing babies home (again). References California Baby Behavior Campaign. Getting to Know your Baby. 2011. Cherry, Kendra. Attachment Theory. About.comPsychology. 2013. Davis, Laura and Keyser, Janis. Becoming the Parent You Want to Be. 1997. Faber, Adele and Mazlish, Elaine. Siblings Without Rivalry. 2012, 1998, 1987. HELPGUIDE.org. Building a Secure Attachment Bond with Your Baby. 2012. HELPGUIDE.org. Parenting: Attachment, Bonding and Reactive Attachment Disorder. McClenahan, Connor. Why Parent-Child Attachment is Like Working with Clay in a Freezer. 2012. McClenahan, Connor. Tips for Helping You Attune to Your Child. Perry, Bruce D., M.D., Ph.D. and Szalavitz, Maia. Born For Love. 2010. Rosenberg, Marshall B. Ph.D. Nonviolent Communication, A Language of Compassion. 1999. Simms/Mann Institute Education Initiative. Building The House Within Guide. 2013. Children’s Books: Cole, Joanna. The New Baby at Your House. 1985, 1998. Cutler, Jane. Darcy and Gran Don’t Like Babies. 1993. Dempsey, Sheena. Bye-Bye Baby Brother! 2013 Harper, Anita. It’s Not Fair. 1986. Holland, Viki. We Are Having a Baby. 1972. Kelly, Christie Watts; Sears, Martha, R.N.; and Sears, William, M.D. Baby on the Way. 2001. Lasky, Kathryn. A Baby for Max. 1984. Rogers, Fred. The New Baby. 1985. Scott, Ann Herbert. On Mother’s Lap. 1972. Contact Ellen Stoddard: evstoddard@sbcc.edu As parents bring a second or third child into the family, they hope to foster a close and nurturing sibling relationship. At the same time, they struggle to meet the needs of the baby as well as the needs of the older sibling. These issues were explored in a six-week facilitated lecture/discussion group. Responses to the lecture/discussion group demonstrated that parents are eager for resources, information, connection, and support help to ease this family transition. The guide for a discussion group is presented here and can serve as an aid for others to facilitate similar parent groups. Santa Barbara City College Ellen Stoddard Bringing Baby Home (Again): A Facilitated Discussion Group