Happiness in Marriage

1. Happiness in Marriage

2. Basic Presuppositions • The Bible is inspired 2 Timothy 3:16-17

3. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work. ”

4. Basic Presuppositions • The Bible is inspired 2 Timothy 3:16-17 • It is useful for how to live right • It is the only guide for our lives • Man’s needs are universalEccl. 1:8-9

5. Ecclesiastes 1:8-9 “All things are full of labor; Man cannot express it. The eye is not satisfied with seeing, Nor the ear filled with hearing. “That which has been is what will be, That which is done is what will be done, And there is nothing new under the sun.”

6. Basic Presuppositions • 2 Timothy 3:16-17 • The Bible is inspired • It is the only guide for our lives • Man’s needs are universal Eccl. 1:8-9 • The Bible’s principles are universal • The Bible is relevant for all2 Peter 1:3

7. 2 Peter 1:2-3 “Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue,”

8. Basic Presuppositions • 2 Timothy 3:16-17 • The Bible is inspired • It is the only guide for our lives • Man’s needs are universal Eccl. 1:8-9 • The Bible’s principles are universal • The Bible is relevant for all 2 Peter 1:3 • The Bible is a success manual for life

9. “Unless the Lord builds the house…” Psalm 127 • We can let the Lord build or We can build without the Lord • God is the architect • Obeying Christ is the foundation • Matthew 7:24-27

10. Matthew 7:24-27 "Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock. But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall."

11. “Unless the Lord builds the house…” Psalm 127 • We can let the Lord build or We can build without the Lord • God is the architect • Obeying Christ is the foundation • Matthew 7:24-27 • When we respect His principles… We have a stable home

12. God Wants Us to Be Happy • God intends for us to please our spouses 1 Corinthians 7:25-35

13. 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 “But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord -- how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world -- how he may please his wife. There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world -- how she may please her husband.”

14. God Wants Us to be Happy • God intends for us to please our spouses 1 Corinthians 7:25-35 • However, happiness is not the primary goal of marriage • Isaiah 43:7

15. Isaiah 43:7 “Everyone who is called by My name, whom I have created for My glory; I have formed him, yes, I have made him."

16. God Wants Us to be Happy • God intends for us to please our spouses 1 Corinthians 7:25-35 • However, happiness is not the primary goal of marriage • Isaiah 43:7 • We are created for God’s glory • This is why we are made differently • Consider how we were made differently

17. God’s PlanGenesis 2:18-24 • Not good to be alone • God’s intention v.18 • To make a suitable helper • God prepares Adam v.19-20 • God puts Adam to sleep v.21 • Adam has no input on the kind of person to make

18. God’s PlanGenesis 2:18-24 • God makes the woman v.21 • The woman is made from Adam’s rib • He is incomplete without her • God did not make another man • God presents the woman to Adam v.22 • Adam’s reaction: JOY!v.23

19. God’s PlanGenesis 2:24 • Leave father and mother • Cleave to his wife • Only one woman • Two become one • Physically but also spiritually • 1 + 1 = 1 in the spiritual realm • It is this process that glorifies God • Overcoming differences

20. Gen. 1:26-27 • “’Let Us (plural) make man (singular) in Our image…let them (plural) have dominion…’” • “So God (plural) created man (singular) in His own (singular) image… male and female He created them (plural)” • Unity in plurality • How do we achieve happiness in marriage?

21. Unhappiness in Marriage 1. Lack of communication • Disappointment because of unmet expectations • Because expectations were not expressed or not expressed clearly 2. Inappropriate communication • An unbiblical reaction to unbiblical failure to behave biblically • Two wrongs don’t make a right

22. Unhappiness in Marriage Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” • 3. Pride • An unwillingness to listen to the other • Efforts to shift blame, justify self • Refusals to apologize • Refusals to forgive

23. Unhappiness in Marriage 4. A failure to fulfill responsibilities and roles • Because roles are not defined clearly • Because assumptions are made about the other’s role without communication and agreement in advance • The Bible clearly defines the roles • On matters of judgment, men must determine how to fulfill those within the framework of the Bible

24. Keys to Communication • Remember women are not men • Remember men are not women • Different perspective and concerns, thought process, emotions, intuition, even language • James 1:19 A willingness to listen (attitude), not talking, not even hearing, is the key to communication “Be swift to hear (seek to understand), slow to speak, slow to anger”

25. Keys to Communication1 Peter 3:1-7 • A loving trust1 Peter 3:6, Prov. 31:11

26. 1 Peter 3:1-7 “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward - arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel - rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.”

27. Proverbs 31:11-12 “The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Do nothing to violate that trust, such as: Broken promises, lying, physical or verbal abuse, pattern of selfishness

28. Keys to Communication1 Peter 3:1-7 • A loving trust 1 Peter 3:6, Prov. 31:11 • A trusting love1 Cor. 13:4-7

29. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes allthings, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”

30. Keys to Communication1 Peter 3:1-7 • A loving trust 1 Peter 3:6, Prov. 31:11 • A trusting love 1 Cor. 13:4-7 • Quietness (not silence is spiritually beautiful and precious to God • Proverbs 19:13-14, 21:9,19

31. Proverbs 19:13-14 “A foolish son is the ruin of his father, and the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping. “Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.” Proverbs 21:19 “Better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman”

32. Keys to Communication1 Peter 3:1-7 • A loving trust 1 Peter 3:6, Proverbs 31:11 • A trusting love 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 • It is spiritually beautiful to be quiet • Proverbs 19:13-14, 21:9,19 • Influence without talking • Don’t give in to fear and seek control • Communicate respect to your husbands

33. Keys to Communication1 Peter 3:1-7 • A loving trust 1 Peter 3:6, Proverbs 31:11 • A trusting love 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 • It is spiritually beautiful to be quiet • Proverbs 19:13-14, 21:9,19 • Influence without talking • Don’t give in to fear and seek control • Communicate respect to your husbands • Husbands, live with your wives with understanding and honor Proverbs 31:28-29

34. Proverbs 31:28-30 “Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all.’ Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.”

35. Ephesians 5:21-33 Husbands • Love sacrificially and unilaterally • Communicate your love to your wife • Demonstrate your love Wives • Submit in all things • Demonstrate respect to your husband Giving up self to be one with another

36. Christ and the church • He gave Himself for us 1 John 3:16

37. 1 John 3:16 “By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us.”

38. Christ and the church • He gave Himself for us 1 John 3:16 • He tells us of His loveEphesians 5:26

39. Ephesians 5:25-27 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,” Romans 10:17 “So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ.”

40. Christ and the church • He gave Himself for us 1 John 3:16 • He tells us of His love Ephesians 5:26 • We believe in His love1 John 4:16

41. 1 John 4:16-18 • “And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us”

42. Christ and the church • He gave Himself for us 1 John 3:16 • He tells us of His love Ephesians 5:26 • We believe in His love 1 John 4:16 • We give up self (repentance) Acts 2:38

43. Acts 2:38 "Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.”

44. Christ and the church • He gave Himself for us 1 John 3:16 • He tells us of His love Ephesians 5:26 • We believe in His love 1 John 4:16 • We give up self (repentance) Acts 2:38 • We submit to Him (baptism) Acts 2:38

45. Christ and the church • He gave Himself for us 1 John 3:16 • He tells us of His love Ephesians 5:26 • We believe in His love 1 John 4:16 • We give up self (repentance) Acts 2:38 • We submit to Him (baptism) Acts 2:38 • We experience His love1 John 4:16-18 • Ephesians 1:3

46. Ephesians 1:3 “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ,” • Receive Christ by submitting to His commands to believe in Him, repent , and be baptized into Christ for forgiveness of sin