A House United: On Becoming a Multigenerational Congregation

1. A House United: On Becoming a Multigenerational Congregation Metro New York 2011 District Annual Meeting May 6-7, 2011 Morristown, New Jersey Facilitator: Mark Bernstein CERG Regional Growth Development Consultant

2. What does it mean to be multigenerational? It is more than just having representation from several groups across the age span. It means actually relating to one another in meaningful ways; when the older and younger generations are actively engaging with one another and growing and serving together.

3. What would a truly multigenerational congregation look like? It would be the ultimate committee of the whole: a community in which everyone is seen as teacher and learner;in which every age and stage of life is equally valued and equally supported by whatever tangible and intangible resources the community has to offer;in which every age and stage of life is allowed to contribute whatever tangible and intangible resources it has to offer;a community in which no decision is made about the life of the community—whether in the area of worship, physical plant, fundraising, budgeting, social action, the arts, education, or any other—without consideration of its impact on and opportunities for every member of the community.” Judith A. Frediani

4. Why be Multigenerational? • To promote the health and wellbeing of our younger members “…forming meaningful relationships across generations needs to become an expected part of everyday life. All adults need to see being engaged with kids as part of their responsibility, as part of their community and this society” • To build a greater sense of community in the congregation • To build mutual respect among the generations • To be more effective in our outreach and more successful in growing our numbers

5. How well are Faith Communities Doing in Promoting Multigenerational Congregations? • 52%: having worship or prayer services that are spiritually uplifting for people of all ages • 42%: providing opportunities for children, youth and adults to serve others together • 29%: having children and youth in leadership roles for the whole congregation • 29%: providing opportunities for children, youth and adults to get to know each other • 29%: providing opportunities for children, youth and adults to learn and study together Search Institute 2003

6. Congregational Generational ContinuumSource: Jesse Jaeger, former Director of the Youth Office at the UUA

7. Congregational Generational Continuum

8. Congregational Generational Continuum

9. Congregational Generational Continuum

10. Congregational Generational Continuum

11. Emerson Unitarian Universalist ChapelSt. Louis Missouri Sunday Morning Worship Service 10 A.M.-11 A.M.Social Time 11:00 A.M. - 11:30 A.M.Children's Religious Education 11:15 A.M.-12:15 P.M.Adult R.E. 11:30 A.M.-12:15 P.M. "Please join us for worship and fellowship. We welcome all guests...young, middle-aged and elders...families, couples and singles...all the colors, cultures, classes, genders and sexual orientations of the human race.We believe we are enriched by diversity and everyone's gifts are valued."

13. Generation Cavern? • 86% said use of technology was different • 80% said moral values were different • 78% said respect for others was different • 86% said preference in music was different • 70% said attitudes toward other races and groups was different • 68% said their religious beliefs were different. In summary, the study found that 79% of the American public says that there is a generation gap between younger and older people.

14. What the research says about generational differences “When you were born influences your personality and attitudes more than does the family that raised you.” Jean Twenge, Generation Me Builders Prior to 1946 Boomers 1946-1964 Generation X 1965-1980 Millennials 1980-2011 (Generation Y)

15. The Builders • Value the institution of church. They are hardworking, committed, conservative, loyal, and sacrificial. • They are conformers. Their motto is “anything can be accomplished if we band together and work the plan.” They are also absorbed in history and feel that others don’t appreciate the sacrifices that have made this country great. • Builders tend to want a church with strong central leadership, a strong program base, consistency, and a link to the past.

16. The Boomers • Competitive, moralistic, optimistic, and self-focused on career development. • Value causes, results, independence, and quality • Boomers like churches that present a quality, casual, and cool image. They want their opinions heard, but they resist high front-end expectations. Boomers need a church with a self-help focus; one that will help them and their families improve.

17. The Generation Xers • Success is defined by creating the life they want. • View themselves as free agents not indefinitely tied to any organization. • Pragmatic and community oriented • They are skeptical and question the motives of church leaders and institutions. • Xers want a church that’s real, relevant, and relational. Xers represent the lowest percentage of church attendees; however, once converted, they are the most committed.

18. The Milennials • Love freedom and responsibility. • Thrive on change • Bond closely with their peers through technology. • Have no denomination or religious “loyalty” • Cheerful, confident, optimistic, and wary.

19. Some more stuff about Millenials • They respond poorly to inflexible hierarchical organizations and to those who act in an authoritarian manner and/or expect to be respected due to higher rank alone. • They have been raised to feel valuable and very positive about themselves and consider it a sign of disrespect to do things just because “this is the way we have always done it.” • They look for flexibility and value results over process. • Gravitate toward mentors, relevance, and genuine life integration with faith.

20. What are the implications for ministry and programming in your congregation along generational lines? Everyone smile and say Unitarian Universalism

21. Ideas for Greater Integration Across Generations • Begin small group ministry groups for people across generations • Offer faith classes that attract both younger and older members • Ask members to intentionally introduce themselves to another member who is 20 or 30 years younger or older. • Hold monthly dinners, game nights, or social gatherings that are designated as multi-generational. • Engage in social justice projects that intentionally invite youth to participate and have specific ways to involve children. • Involve children and youth in the worship service as the planners, publishers of the Order of Service, ushers, chalice lighters, service leaders, etc.

22. Ideas for Multigenerational Worship • Have children-friendly music - choral, instrumental and familiar hymns and use congregational participation and movement as much as possible. Many songs find deeper meaning with the addition of sign language or interpretive movement. • Use props and visuals that bring wonder and mystery to the unfolding of the homily or story. • Have pipe cleaners, chalice art or other quiet manipulative materials available for all - everyone could make a colorful pipe cleaner chalice and bring to front focus table. • Break off in small group ministry style, in small groups of 5 or 6, to consider a question. • Hand out a “pocket thought” to everyone at the end of the service. This is a small fortune cookie-sized paper with a statement, sentiment or affirmation, based on the theme of the service.

23. Focus on Young Adults (18-25) • 60% of UU congregations have fewer than ten young adult members between the ages of 18 and 25. • Less than a third have a minister providing intentional pastoral care to young adults • 78% do not have a young adult on the worship committee • 13% have a young adult on their governing board. • Across congregations, the median money spent on young-adult specific ministry and programming was only $500. 2008 Survey of UU Congregations

25. What are young adults looking for in a spiritual community? • Worship that is morally challenging, intellectually interesting and emotionally moving • Opportunities to engage in ‘hands on’ rituals in a communal atmosphere (community meals/cooking, worship services with lots of sing-along music, group outings to see movies together • Small groups, weekly worship/gathering, community service/social justice,” wrote one person. “Activities that foster a sense of trust and community and opportunity to develop one's personal beliefs Eric D. Dawson, For Massachusetts Bay District of the UUA May 18, 2010

26. In the world of our dreams, our faith communities are multigenerational, multiculturalsacred spaces in which vital connections are made among peers and across generations.In the world of our dreams, our faith communities are life-giving and affirming places inwhich people with different life experiences are valued. In the world of our dreams, ourfaith communities appreciate every age as a unique and essential part of the larger whole,without whom the congregation would be incomplete.Youth Ministry Working Group UUA March 2009

27. Additional Sources Becoming a multi-generational church. Sermon by Dr. Todd Wilson, Calvary Memorial Church. November 2009 Paul Taylor and Richard Morin. “Forty Years after Woodstock: A Gentler Generation Gap”. Pew Research Center, August 2009. John Roberto. Best Practices in Intergenerational Faith Formation. LifeLong Faith Associates. Fall/Winter 2007. Multigenerational Worship: Great Ideas, In Our Hands. Binder Addition June 2008