230 likes | 238 Views
Explore the unique aspects of mediating probate matters, which often involve emotions, grief, and more than just monetary disputes. Discover how mediation works, including its informal and confidential nature, and why it is effective in empowering parties to find their own solutions and reducing stress. Learn about the importance of good communication, the challenges that can hinder mediation, and strategies to overcome them.
E N D
The Mediation of Probate Matters – A Different Kind of Conflict (Resolution) Eric. K. Englebardt 17 November 2018
What makes it different? Emotion Grief Often about much more than money Often more of a civil war than a battle against the enemy
SO, WHAT IS MEDIATION? Alternative to litigation that is: • Informal • Friendly (as much as possible) • Confidential • Logical
WHAT MAKES IT WORK? A.) Puts the power in the hands of those with the most to gain or lose - Captain their own ship, including solutions that couldn’t happen in court - Gets rid of uncertainty - Their day in court with much less stress - Confidentiality is a huge factor
WHAT MAKES IT WORK? B.) Allows for emotional discussions - In private - With a neutral to help assess - With others there to support and talk
WHAT MAKES IT WORK? C.) Good communication by counsel - Before Mediation - With the mediator - With the client -At the Mediation -The Two R words
FIRST REASONABLE
SECOND RESPECT
Communication In Mediation Grandma always said…
WHAT KEEPS IT FROM WORKING A.) Emotion over actual analysis - Mama loved me more - I took care of him while you never visited - Daddy surely never meant to leave me out or leave you more - Grandma promised me Grandpa’s watch when she died
- Uncle Johnny didn’t need your help with his checking account. - Granny was perfectly able to transfer that land to me - I can’t believe you think Daddy needs 24/7 nursing care
- You’ve driven that trust into the ground and don’t know what you’re doing - The bank fees are what???? - You’ve paid yourself how much for your work managing this?
Ways to make it work anyway A.) Recognize, acknowledge, and validate the emotion - For mediators – extremely important - For practitioners - Talk directly to the party on the other side of the table - but beware of the reaction of clients
Ways to make it work B.) Focus on the costs and uncertainty - Financial Costs - Emotional Costs - Fact that in emotional issues like this, very difficult to predict what a fact finder will do. - almost always involves some sort of swearing contest
Ways to make it work C.) Point out ability to forge own solutions – - Court’s hands will be tied with solution - In mediation, can think outside the box, find ways to substitute or trade issues of importance that court can’t/won’t do - Airing of private issues/grievances in confidential forum, juxtaposed with the public nature of court
Ways to make it work D) The lawyers must - Be willing to change theirstyle case to case and situation to situation Be wary of negative labeling Beware of calling a spade a spade Take a deep breath before they speak – don’t be reactionary
Other Problems in Probate Mediation A.) Absent Decision Makers - Takers who aren’t there but are influencing the situation - Must draw them into the process or convince decision maker to - ignore them or - deal with criticism later
Other Common Problems in Probate Mediation B.) Client v. Client - Often develops in Probate mediations - Focus on resolution - Find common ground - Causes mediator to do cross- mediation, mediating within one room at times
How we do it in SC A.) Not Mandatory as it is in other state courts - all contested matters are eligible - usually done by agreement of parties, though some judges are more aggressive about ordering it - can be done by motion
How we do it in SC B.) Choice of mediator - Generally left to the parties - Court can appoint if no agreement - Mediator fee split by parties unless court finds that the mediation “significantly benefited the estate”, which can mean they are paid from the estate
How we do it in SC C.) Post mediation - Agreement reduced to writing, signed by parties, counsel - Mediator report to the court within 10 days - If settlement occurred, 30 days to seek approval through consent order or motion if necessary
Conclusion • Questions? • Comments? • War Stories?