Impact of Low Self-Esteem in Families of Individuals with Disabilities

1. Impact of Low Self-Esteem in Families of Individuals with Disabilities Presented by: James J. Messina, Ph.D

2. Insecurity Closed to Others Poor Decision Maker Anxious Fear of Intimacy Not able to have fun Black and White Thinker Poor Anger Control High Need for Approval Lots of Guilt Lots of Depression What is Low Self-Esteem?

3. What Contributes to Low Self-Esteem • Dysfunctional Environments • Bad relationships • Codependent • Has Disability or Relative with Disability • Non -supportive school, work • Abused • Conditional acceptance and love

4. What causes Dysfunction? • Things more important than people • Mental illness • Major Losses • Abuse • Rigid feelings • Ice Boxes • Addiction • Disability • Big Pay Off

5. Impact of Low Self-Esteem

6. Looking -Good • Hero • High Achiever • Over-responsible • Driven • Approval Seeker • Looks together • Goal: Denial of Problems

7. Acting Out • Scapegoat • Irresponsible • Trouble-Maker • Rebellious • Poor - Under Achiever • Anti-authority • Self-destructive • Caustic • Goal: Divert focus

8. Pulling In • Invisible • Loner • Bookish • Quiet - Recluse • Hard to know • Aloof • Avoid problems • Protect self -overweight • Goal: withdraws to survive

9. ENTERTAINER • Clown • Mascot • Comic Relief • Immature • Hyperactive • Not taken seriously • Distracter • Attention getting • Talks a lot • Goal: Divert attention

10. Troubled Person • Irresponsible • Addict • Unstable • Blame others • Out of control • Broken • Con artist • Denial of problems • Problem for others • Goal: Self-serving

11. Enabling • Protect & Save others • Over-responsible • Co-dependent • Nagger • Covers up • Controlling • Demanding • Goal: get troubled people to change

12. Rescuing • Helper • Motivated • Victimized • Stuck • Irrational Loyalty • Burdened-down • Self-Negated • Unassertive • Goal: reduce tension, hurt & pain

13. People Pleasing • Easily liked • Placator • Always smiling • Outgoing • Friendly • Courteous • Generous • Fits in • Works hard to please • Goal: get approval

14. Non-Feeling • Stoic • Nothing bothers • Intense thinker • Low-Key • Steady even-tempered • No strong feelings • Black & White • Goal: deny feelings to survive

15. Resistance Issues of 9 Traits • Looking Good-denial of problems- “I am just fine the way I am” • Acting Out-rebel authority of therapist- “You are not the boss of me” • Pulling In-hide from therapist-”I really don’t want to talk about it.” • Entertainer-distract & deflect-”Let me tell you about a funny thing I heard this week.” • Troubled Person-anger at being in therapy-”None of this is my fault, it is there problem”

16. Resistance Issues of 9 Traits • Enabler-self-pitying-”My life is in ruins, if only he would change my life would be better” • People Pleaser-overly compliant-”I will agree with you to your face but do what I want” • Rescuer-focus on others-”Too many people depend on me the way I am-I can’t change.” • Non-feeling-empty of emotions-”I am lost when you ask me how I feel about …”

17. Defense Mechanisms of 9 Traits • Looking Good-Reaction Formation, Denial, Sublimation • Acting Out-Displacement, Rationalization, Denial • Pulling In-Repression, Displacement, Denial • Entertainer-Regression, Repression, Denial • Troubled Person-Projection, Rationalization, Denial

18. Defense Mechanisms of 9 Traits • Enabler-Sublimation, Projection, Rationalization,Denial • People Pleaser- Reaction Formation, Denial • Rescuer-Sublimation, Reaction Formation, Denial • Non-feeling-Repression, Denial

19. Sense of Productivity Sense of Autonomy Sense of Uniqueness Altruistic Leadership Ability Sense of Competence Self-Confidence Healthy Self-Concept Independent Thinker Self-Accepting & Loving Good Decision Maker What is Healthy Self-Esteem?

20. Healthy Adult Self-Esteem

21. Self-Esteem Recovery Model