230 likes | 468 Views
Compassionate Communication. (Non-Violent Communication). To Start with……. It is not only a model of communication but it is related to your inner growth. It deals with: Change of mental concepts. The words you choose to express yourself. It brings a paradigm shift.
E N D
Compassionate Communication (Non-Violent Communication)
To Start with……. • It is not only a model of communication but it is related to your inner growth. • It deals with: • Change of mental concepts. • The words you choose to express yourself. • It brings a paradigm shift.
SituationWrite down one situation in which someone said or did it which you found disturbing, upsetting or irritating: Name Situation (In minimum words)
What violence is? The other feels attacked. Example: You are insensitive. • This is judgment and blame. • This is violence.
When you are attackingListener has two options: I (Accept the blame) II (Counter-Attack) Yes, I am insensitive. I am bad. Who is insensitive. Me? And what about you? You are so bad….
One should not feel attacked • Do not close the door by hurting. • Build a Bridge so that someone can walk on it.
AVOID (Jackal Elements) • Judging You are wrong. • Labelling You are lazy. • Threat/Deserving You deserve this behaviour. • Exaggerating (Never / Always) You never care for me.
Activity:Monologue • Imagine a person from your life. • Use all Jackal elements against him while walking.
You are a good Jackal If in other person, you manage to create either: • FEAR • GUILT • SHAME This is violence.
Learn to Talk Differently • Learn to express yourself correctly. • STEP-I • OBSERVE • Say observation not your evaluation. • The room is a mess. • You are irresponsible.
STEP-II • FEELING • After observing a certain thing or behavior, how you are feeling. • Your situation Do observation & feeling part.
The ISLAND • FEELING • W I – Fine • M I – Bored • M II – Satisfied • W II – Disappointed • M III - Thrilled Pleasant / Unpleasant + - + - + NEED Rest / Relaxation Excitement / Entertainment Culture Lots of culture Nature / Adventure Island is Innocent
There were 3 friends. • Two went for a party. Third missed it….. • Why do we feel differently ? • What is the cause of our feeling ?
STEP-III • NEED • If your needs are met, you feel happy. • If your needs are not met, you feel unhappy. • Your needs are based on many factors, your upbringing etc. We all have different needs.
How to lead a life which is fulfilling: • Try to fulfill your needs. • Take responsibility. Your unfulfilled needs are causing your unhappiness. • Other is not responsible for your unhappiness. • Other is innocent.
Other is a Trigger but not a Cause • I feel so because you are like that. I feel so because of my ownneed. • If you change, I will be better. I will be better, if my need will be satisfied.
Formula for Happiness If needs are met ----- Happy If needs are not met ---- Unhappy Next Level ! Drop your needs.
STRATEGY Make strategies to fulfill your needs. Reading a newspaper ---- Strategy Getting information / knowledge ---- Need
Elements of NVC • OBSERVATION • FEELING • NEED • …………..??? REQUEST
REQUEST…. • Please be more understanding. • Please be more loving. • Please be more responsible.
IT IS IMPORTANT TO FORMULATE CORRECT REQUEST.
THANK YOU EMAIL-ID dr.nidhirastogi@rediffmail.com