Graham Barnes Team Leader Training and Resources The Battered Women’s Justice Project

1. NCADV’s 16th National Conference on Domestic ViolencePreserving Our Roots While Looking to the FutureIntimate Partner Sexual Abuse: The Hidden Dimension of Domestic ViolenceLynn Hecht Schafran, Esq.DirectorNational Judicial Education ProgramJuly 24, 2012Denver, Colorado

2. Graham Barnes Team Leader Training and Resources The Battered Women’s Justice Project Minneapolis, Minnesota “Until I had worked with men who batter for three to five years, I had no idea that the level of sexual assault within domestic violence relationships was so high. I had to hear these stories from the facilitators of the women’s partner group before I realized that most of the women partners are also being sexually assaulted.”

3. "[M]arital rape…should be treated differently and more severely than similar crimes committed by strangers. As a result of its unique relation to personal life, sexual assault is far more likely to be repeated when it is committed by partners and almost always occurs amid other forms of violence, intimidation, and control. The level of unfreedom, subordination, dependence, and betrayal associated with marital rape has no counterpart in public life." -Professor Evan Stark, COERCIVE CONTROL (2007), at 388.

4. A batter who subjects his partner to forced sex in addition to physical violence is seven times more likely to kill her than a batterer who subjects his partner to physical violence only. -Finding from Professor Jacquelyn Campbell, Assessing Risk Factors for Intimate Partner Homicides, Vol. 250 NIJ JOURNAL 15 (2003)

5. “There was no greater divergence in what victims and perpetrators reported than in the area of sexual violence. If we are to believe the killers, none of them had ever been sexually violent or even coercive to the women they killed…The victims of abuse painted a very different picture. Nearly three-fourths of the women [who survived a near-murder] said their abusive partners had raped them.” -David Adams, WHY DO THEY KILL? (2007) at 171-172.

6. Why is the Sexual Abuse Aspect of Domestic Violence so Hidden? • Because until recently, marital rape was completely legal in every state; • Because no one wants to talk about sexual abuse and assault in any context; • Because as soon as a woman charges a man with any type of sexual misconduct, she loses credibility, and women know this

7. What is Intimate Partner Sexual Abuse? • Sexual abuse in the domestic violence context encompasses a wide range of coerced sexual activity • Victims may be coerced into sexual activity or denied control over their reproductive health through verbal coercion, threats against the themselves or others, financial manipulation or physical violence

8. Manifestations of Intimate Partner Sexual Abuse It is important to be aware of all the manifestations of intimate partner sexual abuse and to understand them as: • an aspect of domestic violence • an assertion of power and control • factors for risk assessment • behaviors to be addressed in prevention education, batterer intervention programs and sex offender treatment

9. Intimate Partner Sexual Abuse Includes: • Insensitive, critical or degrading behavior relating to sex and sexuality • Using sexually degrading names • Criticizing victim’s physical features/attractiveness/body image • Making victim feel cheap or dirty for wanting sex • Using sex to prove faithfulness

10. Insensitive, Critical or Degrading Behavior Relating to Sex and Sexuality (cont’d): • Withholding affection or accusing her of being sexually abusive for denying sex • Blaming victim for not being satisfied • Comparing to others • Flaunting affairs • Flaunting sexual abuse of children

11. Insensitive, Critical or Degrading Behavior Relating to Sex and Sexuality (cont’d): • Accusing victim of having affairs, flirting, dressing provocatively, or coming on to others • Pressuring or forcing her to dress a certain way to please/attract other men • Punishing her for attracting attention of other men; checking her underwear for signs of sex • Stalking to ensure fidelity

12. “A lot of times it [rape] happened because he was so jealous. He always thought that I was looking at other men. Like the time my brother and his friend—who I grew up with—were over, and he though I was looking at his friend, and he was really mad. He started hitting me and then forced me to have sex.” - Natalie, quoted in Raquel Kennedy Bergen, WIFE RAPE (1996) at 22

13. Insensitive, Critical or Degrading Behavior Relating to Sex and Sexuality (cont’d): • Coercing pregnancy: “Most of the time he would force himself on me . . . [A]fter my fourth child, my sister’s friend suggested I go on the pill . . . but my husband was reluctant to buy them. He himself never wanted to use condoms or anything . . . and by making me pregnant time and time again, he was trying to tie me down to him.” -Zarina, quoted in Margaret Abraham, SEXUAL ABUSE IN SOUTH ASIAN IMMIGRANT MARRIAGES(1999) at 606 • Coercing abortion

14. Trying/Making Victim Perform Sex Acts Against her Will, When Not Fully Conscious or When Afraid: • Making victim view, imitate, or participate in pornography: In a sample of rural Ohio women sexually assaulted by their partners, 30% said pornography was involved in their sexually abusive experiences. The researchers report that Danielle, a woman from this study, “knew that she was particularly at risk for being sexually assaulted after her husband watched pornographic movies, so she made extra efforts to avoid him at these times.” -Walter S. DeKeseredy, et al, Separation/Divorce Sexual Assault: The Contribution of Male Support (2006) at 242

15. Trying/Making Victim Perform Sex Acts Against her Will, When Not Fully Conscious or When Afraid (cont’d): • Forcing her to have sex with others or in front of others: “He wanted me to have sex with a few people . . . and I didn’t want to. . . And, uh, I finally did. And then I got beat for it because I did. I tried not to, but then when we did, I got beat.” -Walter S. DeKeseredy, et al, Separation/Divorce Sexual Assault: The Contribution of Male Support (2006) at 242

16. Trying/Making Victim Perform Sex Acts Against her Will, When Not Fully Conscious or When Afraid (cont’d): • Forcing vaginal, oral or anal sex • Forcing sex in front of children • Forcing sex with children • Forcing sex with animals

17. Trying/Making Victim Perform Sex Acts Against her Will, When Not Fully Conscious or When Afraid (cont’d): • Coerced prostitution • Coercing sex without protection against pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections • “Apologizing” after a battering incident by coercing sex • Forced physically painful sex

18. Hurting the Victim in Relation to Sex • Battering before, during or immediately after sex: “Sometimes I was able to fight him off, and I would fight like wild, and he wouldn’t be able to get it in. But usually he would [succeed in penetrating her], and he put me in the hospital a lot. He broke my nose and my jaw and cut my wrists.” -Barbara, quoted in Raquel Kennedy Bergen, WIFE RAPE (1996) at 16

19. Hurting the Victim in Relation to Sex(cont’d) • Hurting her physically during sex, such as inserting objects • Assaulting her breasts or genitals • Bondage

20. Hurting the Victim in Relation to Sex(cont’d) • Sadistic acts: When the wife of a physician returned home after a cesarean section he forced her to have oral intercourse and sodomized her. She reported: “I told him [my husband] I couldn’t have intercourse, and he told me ‘Skin heals in 72 hours’.” -Quoted in Raquel Kennedy Bergen, WIFE RAPE (1996) at 21

21. Blackmailing or Extorting Sex • Refusing to pay child support without sex • Refusing essential medical transportation without sex: A rural woman in labor was dependent on her husband for the half-hour drive to the hospital. Despite her pleas that she was in acute pain, he refused to drive her until she had intercourse with him. “‘Please, W., take me to the hospital,’ I begged as another contraction stormed across my body. ‘Not until we have a screw,’ he insisted.” -Diane Russell, RAPE IN MARRIAGE (1990) at 338.

22. Pregnancy as a Risk Factor • Pregnancy places women at a high risk for both physical and sexual assault • Sexual assault often begins during pregnancy: “It started right before the baby was born. When I was pregnant, the doctor said not to have relations, but he kept wanting it. I had hard pregnancies.” -Delilah, quoted in Raquel Kennedy Bergen, WIFE RAPE (1996) at 23 • For women raped while pregnant there is the additional trauma of fearing for their unborn babies’ lives

23. Offenders “If a partner is controlling, abusive, and violent in the kitchen, the living room, and in public, why would he stop the abuse at the bedroom door?” -Hon. Jeffrey Kremers, Chief Judge, First Judicial Administrative District, Milwaukee, WI

24. Offenders (cont’d) • Perpetrators are often described as feeling a sense of entitlement to have sex with their "property“ “I remember one time he [her husband] told the judge, ‘That's my wife, you can't tell me what to do with her.’” -Quoted in Raquel Kennedy Bergen, WIFE RAPE: UNDERSTANDING THE RESPONSE OF VICTIMS AND SERVICE PROVIDERS (1996).

25. Offenders (cont’d) • Intimate partner sexual abuse as “punishment” : "Several of the women in my sample believe that the sexual abuse was their partners' attempt to punish either their loved ones or the women themselves." -Raquel Kennedy Bergen, WIFE RAPE: UNDERSTANDING THE RESPONSE OF VICTIMS AND SERVICE PROVIDERS (1996).

26. Study of Men in a Batterers Intervention Program in a Northeastern City* 229 diverse men Men completed a questionnaire that included specific behaviorally-based questions 53% answered “yes” to questions about conduct that met the legal definition of rape or sexual assault in the program’s state *Raquel Kennedy Bergen & Paul Bukovec, Men and Intimate Partner Rape: Characteristics of Men who Sexually Abuse Their Partner, Vol. 10 JOURNAL OF INTERPERSONAL VIOLENCE 1375 (2006) Statistics on Prevalence

27. Study of Men in a Batterers Intervention Program in a Northeastern City (cont’d): • 7% had threatened physical harm if their partner did not have sex • 14% had used physical force to compel their partner to have sex against her will • Among husband rapists the figure was 28%

28. Study of Men in a Batterers Intervention Program in a Northeastern City (cont’d): • 17% had sex with their partner when she was unable to consent (e.g., asleep) • 6% forced their partner to view pornography • 4% forced their partner to enact pornography • 40% pressured their partner emotionally to have sex against her will

29. Study of Men in a Batterers Intervention Program in a Northeastern City (cont’d): • Some men used weapons • Some men forced their partner to have sex with other people, animals or objects • Many men engaged in several forms of sexual abuse and assault

30. Study of Men in a Batterers Intervention Program in a Northeastern City (cont’d): • 15% of the entire sample and 25% of the husband rapists said they frequently forced their partner to have sex after a fight, using sex as a way to “repossess women after a confrontation or to illogically try to ‘make things better’.”

31. Study of Men in a Batterers Intervention Program in a Northeastern City (cont’d): • Even though 53% of these men admitted to at least once engaging in behavior constituting intimate partner sexual assault, only 8% answered “yes” to the question that put a label on their conduct: “Have you ever sexually abused your partner.”

32. Assessment and Treatment of Offenders • Assessments of batterers often fail to assess for intimate partner sexual abuse • Many batterer intervention programs do not address intimate partner sexual abuse • Many sex offender treatment programs do not address sexual abuse in the domestic violence context

33. Studies of Physically Abused Women Houston Study* • A diverse group of 148 physically abused women seeking orders of protection • Researchers used a conservative definition of sexual abuse and asked only behaviorally-based questions • The five questions were: *Judith McFarlane & Ann Malecha, Intimate Partner Sexual Assault Against Women: Frequency, Health Consequences, and Treatment Outcome, Vol. 105 AMERICAN COLLEGE OF OBSTETRICIANS AND GYNECOLOGISTS 99 (2005)

34. Houston Study (cont’d): During your relationship, did (name of abuser) • Make you have sexual intercourse against your will? • Physically force you to have sex? • Make you have oral sex against your will? • Make you have anal sex against your will? • Use an object on you in a sexual way?

35. Houston Study (cont’d): Results: • 68% of the 148 women reported sexual abuse in addition to physical violence • 15% attributed sexually-transmitted infections to the sexual abuse • 20% had a rape-related pregnancy

36. Houston Study (cont’d): • High levels of posttraumatic stress disorder • “Sexual assault is experienced by most physically abused women and associated with significantly higher levels of PTSD compared with women physically abused only.”

37. Midwest Study* • Study of 159 abused women in a midwestern city • 45.9% reported sexual assault as well as physical violence *Jacquelyn C. Campbell & Karen L. Soeken, Forced Sex and Intimate Partner Violence, Vol. 5 VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN 1017 (1999)

38. Duluth, Minnesota Study* • In a study of female partners of men in the Duluth, MN batterers programs, 70% had been sexually as well as physically abused *Domestic Abuse Intervention Project of Duluth, Minnesota

39. Who Are the Victims? "Any woman is a possible object of violence. What differs is not the woman, but the man. If the man is sexually abusive, he will victimize any woman with whom he lives or has lived." -Walter S. DeKeseredy & McKenzie Rogness, Separation/Divorce Sexual Assault: The Current State of Social Scientific Knowledge, 9 AGGRESSION AND VIOLENT BEHAVIOR 675 (2004)

40. Who are the Victims? (cont’d) • Vast majority of victims are women • African-American women are subjected to marital rape slightly more than white, Latina or Asian women • Marital rape occurs at the same frequency regardless of economic class or urban or rural setting

41. Who are the Victims? (cont’d) • Same-Sex Couples: • In a study of people who identify as GLBTQQI, 52% reported at least one incident of sexual coercion by their same-sex partner* • Victims of Teen Dating Violence: • Report the same rates of co-occuring physical and sexual violence as adult victims • Children: • May witness or be forced to take part in violent acts *Kim Fountain & Avy Skolnik, National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, AND TRANSGENDER DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN THE UNITED STATES IN 2006: A REPORT OF THE NATIONAL COALITION OF ANTI-VIOLENCE PROGRAMS 46 (2006).

42. Victim Impact What is the biggest myth about marital rape?

43. Victim Impact: Psychological "When you're raped by a stranger, you have to live with a frightening nightmare. When you're raped by your husband, you have to live with your rapist." -David Finkelhor & Kristi Yllo, LICENSE TO RAPE: SEXUAL ABUSE OF WIVES (1985)

44. Victim Impact: Psychological (cont’d) “Courts in many states continue to set higher standards of proof in sexual assault cases involving husbands or partners than when strangers are charged…[But marital rape] should be treated…more severely than similar crimes committed by strangers... The level of unfreedom, subordination, dependence, and betrayal associated with marital rape has no counterpart in public life.” -Evan Stark, COERCIVE CONTROL: HOW MEN ENTRAP WOMEN IN PERSONAL LIFE (2007)

45. Victim Impact: Psychological (cont’d) • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: Flashbacks, hypervigilance, difficulty eating and sleeping, nightmares, loss of trust, intense fear and suicidal thoughts are all common reactions among victims of marital rape • Revictimized Victims: Intimate partner sexual abuse victims who were raped as children or adolescents suffer especially severe emotional consequences

46. Victim Impact: Physical • Sexually-Transmitted Infections (STIs) • Pregnancy • Bruising, broken bones, burns, internal injuries • Long-lasting physical consequences because of repeated assaults, including internal injuries and chronic pain

47. Repeated Sexual Assaults are Typical • The National Institute of Justice found that just over half of women raped by an intimate partner said they were victimized repeatedly by that partner • The average was 4.5 rapes by the same partner • Individuals have reported 20 and more rapes by the same partner

48. Risk Assessment Related to Intimate Partner Sexual Abuse • Assessing likelihood of continued and escalating physical and sexual violence • Assessing possible lethality • Assessing risks to children when making custody and visitation decisions

49. Risk Assessment - Lethality • Risk assessment in domestic violence cases is traditionally thought of as assessing the risk that a batterer will kill his victim • There are actually six types of risk to be assessed:

50. Six Types of Potential Lethality • Femicide: Will the abuser kill his victim? • Child Murder: Will the abuser kill the couple's children? • Third Party Lethality: Will the abuser kill a third party? • Suicide: Will the victim kill herself? • Suicide: Will the abuser kill himself? • Will the victim kill the abuser?